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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I’m definitely reasonable…. I think!

184 replies

GracieLouFreeebush · 07/03/2022 20:06

I went out on Saturday, it was for someone’s birthday and was split over two venues meaning we needed taxis halfway through the day. Me and my partner are skint at the moment so he offered to come pick me up, ferry a car full in between then walk the dog at the other side for a couple of hours before driving me home.

I only actually know the person who’s birthday it was. There is a group chat though, it was such a good day we decided to keep it going so we can arrange meet ups in future. Some people had to still get taxis across because there was 19 of us and only 4 fit in my car, including me.

The next morning in the group chat the person who had booked the taxis (Ubers) put her bank details in for everyone to transfer their share - including me. It worked out at £14 each, everyone but me sent the money and she chased me up for it, I replied saying oh I didn’t get a taxi because DP came and drove. She replied saying “to make it fair it’s been divided equally between all that attended so that some don’t have to pay more”…. But I am paying more, because I also paid in petrol and DP paid in time. I’ve refused to pay (I don’t even have the money until I get paid Friday).

Since then I’ve been removed from the group chat, when I asked my friend she explained the others are upset that I would be so selfish and make them pay more, but I see it as we would have needed to pay for an extra taxi so I saved everyone money.

OP posts:
VladmirsPoutine · 07/03/2022 20:41

Don't pay anything. WTF.

Natty13 · 07/03/2022 20:42

This is like is a few of you had had breakfast and coffees in a cafe together before the activity and the ones who had theirs at home should have been included in splitting the cage bill.

I am astounded that people like this exist.

MischievousBiscuits · 07/03/2022 20:43

CFs.
It's like being asked to contribute to the cost of the wine when you haven't drank any at a dinner out!

UserError012345 · 07/03/2022 20:43

Did you all agree beforehand to the taxi's? Or was it decided on the day. Perhaps if expectation pre event day was that you would all get a taxi between venues but you decide on the day partner will transport you, I could possibly (small
possibility) see that they would be miffed.

Though I've read those that have done the maths and well I'd say you could point this out but you'd have to be in the group.

Original poster
GracieLouFreeebush · 07/03/2022 20:44

If 3 in each car how far was the taxi journey? 100 miles?

It was from the middle of nowhere to the City centre, I think it’s so expensive because of how out of the way the taxis have to come to pick up, it was a 40 minute drive for us so I suppose it’s taking into account the taxis initially being in the City centre. (I say this as if I have any knowledge of how taxis justify their costs, I’ve never thought about it before this weekend).

Sounds like you been charged for them all to get home too.
This is a good point! DP didn’t drop anyone off afterwards because they all live the opposite direction, I have no idea if this was included.

OP posts:
StoneofDestiny · 07/03/2022 20:46

They are idiots to think you should pay for a taxi you never used. I can't imagine they all think you should - probably one person thinks this.

MermaidEyes · 07/03/2022 20:52

Tbh that sounds an absolute palaver, to organise 2 totally separate activities 40 minutes apart, for 19 people, with a shit ton of expensive taxis needed, and then everyone still has to somehow get home.

ChoiceMummy · 07/03/2022 20:52

@GracieLouFreeebush

I wonder if they would have felt differently if only I had taken the lift and the rest had got in a taxi instead of my car.

If it wasn’t for DP offering to drive then I wouldn’t have gone because I just wouldn’t have been able to afford it.

Tbh, I think that I'd be asking that those who paid the £14 of and were in your car pass the petrol money to you!
liliainterfrutices · 07/03/2022 20:58

Send your rude friend a link to this thread! YANBU at all.

Georgeskitchen · 07/03/2022 21:00

Christ almighty who needs friends like that? You're well rid of them !!

Alwaystheplusone · 07/03/2022 21:01

Cheeky, cheeky fuckers. YANBU!

TheSnowyOwl · 07/03/2022 21:01

@goeasyonmee

Say you're happy to pay as long as the 3 that came in your car reimburse you for the fuel. Send your bank details and wait.
Not just the three but, in order to be fair, everyone need to contribute. As well as fuel, they need to cover the wear and tear as well as his time.
ExcuseeeeMe · 07/03/2022 21:01

You have done nothing wrong your DH was your share

Mirw · 07/03/2022 21:04

Do you want to be part of a group who don't get the fact that you will be paying twice? They seem quite selfish... I was part of a group that met the last Friday of every month. Some in the group would eat very expensive food and order expensive cocktails knowing the amount would be split between everyone who went along.. When I complained, I was told that was just the way it was. I have saved a fortune since I stopped going out with them. The new group lats down rules. If you want expensive food abd drink, you pay the extra, not the group. Same should be done here

Bromse · 07/03/2022 21:10

@Tuiwow

Tell them to piss off. CFs
That.
StupidUsernameUnavailable · 07/03/2022 21:11

If you are not bothered about staying in contact with any of these CFs, please copy a link to this thread and send it your friend.

Hopefully then they will understand what utter tossers they have been. On the other with this level of utter ridiculousness they probably and honestly think they've done nothing wrong. 🤦‍♀️

SartresSoul · 07/03/2022 21:12

Crazy. You didn’t use a taxi but some of them used your personal taxi and in turn your fuel yet they want to charge you? Idiots.

Hollywolly1 · 07/03/2022 21:14

Is it the birthday girl that's doing the bitching?? I think its the host that should pay but they seem soooo stingy and it's being blamed on you being mean to take the bad look off themselves,I think its unlikely to be 18 of them agreeing unless they are all sheep(possible ).Its good they blocked you on what's app it'll save you leaving the group

ChateauMargaux · 07/03/2022 21:15

OMG...

Maybe reply..

I am not sure how everyone has come to the conclusion that I should chip in for this.

I hope you are able to explain to everyone the illogical situation of me not only not using the uber that I am being asked to pay for but also saving everyone money by reducing the number of cars that the group had to pay for and therefore by actually saving the group £60!!

I had a lovely day but this has left me feeling really awkward and quite hurt.

Bunnyfuller · 07/03/2022 21:18

‘Actually, everyone’s share will be more I’m afraid. We’re charging £14 for the lifts we provided - it’s only fair. Or you could just exempt me and we’ll say the lifts were free.

ShakespearesSisters · 07/03/2022 21:19

I think it would be fair that the other 3 in your car split the bill but not you. If your "share" is £14 that's less than an extra £1 each for everyone else if there is 17 others at the event.

Hope90x · 07/03/2022 21:20

Send your friend a link to this post and ask her to kindly put it in the group chat... An alternative "18" opinions on the matter lol

Annonymiss123 · 07/03/2022 21:20

They are being extremely dramatic over 78p! The £14 that you (DON’T) owe divided between 18 of them works out at 78p each! 🙄

Don’t give them a second thought @GracieLouFreeebush.

harrumphs · 07/03/2022 21:23

This is one of the craziest things I've read on AIBU for a while!
@GracieLouFreeebush please send your "friend" the cost breakdown that one of the previous posters has done to show how much extra everyone would have had to pay if your DH hadn't given some of you a life. Also check if they are trying to charge you for their journey home too. And make it clear that this is all completely ridiculous and you're actually quite hurt by it all.

OnTheBoardwalk · 07/03/2022 21:26

Don’t be saying money is tight which is why you aren’t paying

You didn’t get a taxi so you aren’t paying. I can’t believe the 3 people in your taxi paid

Surely 4 of you not getter not a taxi is be less cab to pay for