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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I’m definitely reasonable…. I think!

184 replies

GracieLouFreeebush · 07/03/2022 20:06

I went out on Saturday, it was for someone’s birthday and was split over two venues meaning we needed taxis halfway through the day. Me and my partner are skint at the moment so he offered to come pick me up, ferry a car full in between then walk the dog at the other side for a couple of hours before driving me home.

I only actually know the person who’s birthday it was. There is a group chat though, it was such a good day we decided to keep it going so we can arrange meet ups in future. Some people had to still get taxis across because there was 19 of us and only 4 fit in my car, including me.

The next morning in the group chat the person who had booked the taxis (Ubers) put her bank details in for everyone to transfer their share - including me. It worked out at £14 each, everyone but me sent the money and she chased me up for it, I replied saying oh I didn’t get a taxi because DP came and drove. She replied saying “to make it fair it’s been divided equally between all that attended so that some don’t have to pay more”…. But I am paying more, because I also paid in petrol and DP paid in time. I’ve refused to pay (I don’t even have the money until I get paid Friday).

Since then I’ve been removed from the group chat, when I asked my friend she explained the others are upset that I would be so selfish and make them pay more, but I see it as we would have needed to pay for an extra taxi so I saved everyone money.

OP posts:
Mandyjack · 08/03/2022 19:44

You're right it would've been more if you had got a cab too so it's not fair you pay their ubers.

StargazerAli · 08/03/2022 19:52

Utterly ridiculous! I bet it's just one or two holier-than-though women in the group causing trouble. It's pathetic that not one of them has the guts to stick up for you.

WestendVBroadway · 08/03/2022 19:56

@GracieLouFreeebush, you should agree to pay the £14. However you should then add that your DP completely forgot to pass on the bill for his ride. Explain that the 3 people who got a lift with you have to transfer £18 to him. Or to make it fairer everyone can pay you £3.50. See how the CFs react to that.

Cailleachian · 08/03/2022 20:11

Did they actually realise that it was your car/DP who was driving, or has uber lady just thought tha 5 (actual) taxis turned up, and your partner happened to be the driver of one of the taxis?

Thats the only way I can see any of this making sense

Laurie000 · 08/03/2022 20:16

Pay the £14 and then send them all £180 bill for DH picking you and the others up. Wait for the “I didn’t get a lift off DH comments” and then remind them that you didn’t get an Uber, but you paid for one.

ittakes2 · 08/03/2022 20:24

Just tell them your partner collected because you are tight on money this month and if everyone had of also paid for your cab as well everyone would be paying X rather than X so you can't see why its more expensive for everyone else that you got a lift.
Her thinking is weird. Also remember though she might not be fairly representing other's views - she might just have mucked up and is now too embarrassed to ask others to cover your £14 so is mad at you.

GnomeDePlume · 08/03/2022 21:17

@Neolara

I think the issue is the person demanding the money has already asked everyone for their £14 and if OP doesn't pay, is either down £14 herself or has to get everyone to cough up another 80p each, which is a hassle for her and the others. Obviously, none of this is OP's fault.
I think @Neolara has got it. The person demanding money simply divided the bill by the number of people having forgotten that @GracieLouFreeebush had made other arrangements (and also given lifts).

In a way I can see her problem as asking everyone for an extra 80p seems really tight but if she doesnt then she is out of pocket by £14. Silly sod should have worked it out properly first and got someone to check her logic.

Now that she has dug herself into a hole she is keeping digging.

EmpressCixi · 08/03/2022 21:20

@stuntbubbles

Tell them DP is a taxi service and everyone needs to chip in £14 to him, too.
That would be my response. Cheeky fuckers the lot.
Overtired201984 · 08/03/2022 21:34

Wow this is shocking , no way should you pay !!!! Did the other girls who was i your car pay for the taxis? if they did then they are daft !

Also 14 quid each between 19 people for taxis , how far apart was the venues!

Honestly i wouldn’t bother with people like that

Bertiebiscuit · 08/03/2022 21:38

Bunch of loons trying it on, taking the p*ss - do not pay a penny, and never speak to a single one if these plonkers ever again, ghost the lot of them.

Momicrone · 08/03/2022 21:48

If you were that broke could you have not just gone to one part of the birthday event rather than both

Porkbuttsandtaters · 08/03/2022 22:01

Obviously you shouldn’t pay OP but I think the splitting it between the rest of them is fair. Why should the 3 who hopped in with you pay nothing when the ones who had to get the taxis pay more. But obviously you as driver don’t pay!

BeHappy91818 · 08/03/2022 22:06

@Porkbuttsandtaters

Obviously you shouldn’t pay OP but I think the splitting it between the rest of them is fair. Why should the 3 who hopped in with you pay nothing when the ones who had to get the taxis pay more. But obviously you as driver don’t pay!
Why! They didn’t use a taxi so why should they pay for one Confused

Each taxi should of just been split between the people that were actually in it.

I wouldn’t pay for a taxi I didn’t go in because I’m not stupid.

BeHappy91818 · 08/03/2022 22:06

If anything they should of offered the OP partner some cash for the lift as a thank you.

thisplaceisweird · 08/03/2022 22:11

I actually think it's fair that those who got to go in your husband's car should split the cost of taxis but you should have been left out. It's not fair that some random people didn't have to pay and some did. But I don't think you should have paid.

I do think organising your own husband taxi service is a bit mad though. If you literally can't afford £14 right now you couldn't afford to go to the party in the first place.

thisplaceisweird · 08/03/2022 22:17

@GracieLouFreeebush

All I can think is maybe they thought DP drove to make everyone’s night cheaper because I offered the lifts to the others and commented that it would save the price of another taxi!
This makes sense to me. Why should some people get off with paying nothing or just a bit of petrol while the others had to pay £14+ each. It makes sense to split the cost between everyone, but not with you as it's your husband/car.
Nomorefuckstogive · 08/03/2022 22:48

But your DP gave them a lift! They are insane x

Snaketime · 09/03/2022 13:04

Based on the fact they would have had to pay for another taxi if your DP hadn't driven then they owe you money. Tell them they owe your DP the amount they paid for a taxi as he basically ran a taxi service and you will take what you owe them off what they owe you. See what they say to that.

KAT0779 · 09/03/2022 13:16

Cheeky fuckers, YANBU OP, think you've had a lucky escape. I've come across similar people in the past, this won't be a one off either.

N1no · 09/03/2022 20:08

I would also accept it as fair if you see your DH as an Uber driver and added one more fare in and divided the total by the amount of people attending. Obviously, your DH would have been paid too. Hopefully, you and DH would have made a little money this way to pay him for his dog walking time.

Original poster
GracieLouFreeebush · 10/03/2022 12:50

If you literally can't afford £14 right now you couldn't afford to go to the party in the first place

Or I’ve just budgeted as much as I can so that I can have some enjoyment in my shit life at the moment.

OP posts:
Landedonfeet · 10/03/2022 12:52

@GracieLouFreeebush

Id get new friends if I were you.

They aren’t my friends, I worked with one of them about 14 years ago and we got back in touch recently. It was the first time I met the rest of them but as it had been a really nice day we had talked about meeting up again. I’ve got plenty of my own friends that don’t act like this.

If you’re skint Seems odd to spend money rarely going on on this kind of social event
incognitoforthisone · 10/03/2022 13:36

Absolutely YANBU!

Anyone turning their nose up and saying 'You shouldn't have gone if you're skint' is being incredibly obnoxious. You worked out what you could afford and found a way to make the day work for your budget - you have done absolutely nothing wrong.

Thehop · 10/03/2022 13:45

@Mumoftwoinprimary

Ok - I’ve done the maths of this:-

Cost of taxis is 14*19 = 266.

Amount everyone charged if Op doesn’t pay is 266 / 18 = £14.78.

19 people - Op takes 4 so 15 so need 4 taxis.

No Op then they would have needed 5. So cost of taxis is 266 / 4 * 5 = £332. Divided between 18 means £18.47.

So Op being there saved everyone £4. They should have been buying you drinks all night Op!

Please send them this and a link to the thread, cheeky gets
Landedonfeet · 10/03/2022 13:49

Please send them this and a link to the thread, cheeky gets

Seriously
Don’t send them the link
They will al think you’re completely unhinged!