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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I’m definitely reasonable…. I think!

184 replies

GracieLouFreeebush · 07/03/2022 20:06

I went out on Saturday, it was for someone’s birthday and was split over two venues meaning we needed taxis halfway through the day. Me and my partner are skint at the moment so he offered to come pick me up, ferry a car full in between then walk the dog at the other side for a couple of hours before driving me home.

I only actually know the person who’s birthday it was. There is a group chat though, it was such a good day we decided to keep it going so we can arrange meet ups in future. Some people had to still get taxis across because there was 19 of us and only 4 fit in my car, including me.

The next morning in the group chat the person who had booked the taxis (Ubers) put her bank details in for everyone to transfer their share - including me. It worked out at £14 each, everyone but me sent the money and she chased me up for it, I replied saying oh I didn’t get a taxi because DP came and drove. She replied saying “to make it fair it’s been divided equally between all that attended so that some don’t have to pay more”…. But I am paying more, because I also paid in petrol and DP paid in time. I’ve refused to pay (I don’t even have the money until I get paid Friday).

Since then I’ve been removed from the group chat, when I asked my friend she explained the others are upset that I would be so selfish and make them pay more, but I see it as we would have needed to pay for an extra taxi so I saved everyone money.

OP posts:
Whataroyalannoyance · 07/03/2022 20:23

If your dh hadn't taken the 4 of you they would have needed another taxi so the amount would have been higher for everyone anyway... I don't see their reason

Queenoftheashes · 07/03/2022 20:24

What a bloody infernal cheek

Original poster
GracieLouFreeebush · 07/03/2022 20:24

Id get new friends if I were you.

They aren’t my friends, I worked with one of them about 14 years ago and we got back in touch recently. It was the first time I met the rest of them but as it had been a really nice day we had talked about meeting up again. I’ve got plenty of my own friends that don’t act like this.

OP posts:
LightSpeeds · 07/03/2022 20:26

"...to make it fair it’s been divided equally between all that attended so that some don’t have to pay more..."

To make it cheaper for the taxi users more like! I think they're blumming cheeky f*kers to be honest. Sorry this has happened and that you've been ostracised from this lovely bunch of new 'friends'.

There's no reason why you should pay for something you haven't had, but a lot of people would expect the expense to be equally shared and take a dim view of anyone not coughing up the money.

ButtockUp · 07/03/2022 20:27

OP , you owe nothing.
You were driven by your partner.
If the other two who went with you, pay that money, more fool them.
In fact, those two should owe you. Who

Sit back and relax. They're not your friends anyway.

Original poster
GracieLouFreeebush · 07/03/2022 20:28

I wonder if they would have felt differently if only I had taken the lift and the rest had got in a taxi instead of my car.

If it wasn’t for DP offering to drive then I wouldn’t have gone because I just wouldn’t have been able to afford it.

OP posts:
KatherineofGaunt · 07/03/2022 20:29

Yes, tell them in that case your DP also counts as a taxi and they need to add on the cost of another taxi and then divide it between everyone. You, of course, will then be happy to pay your share.

They are being ridiculous, and I hope one of them sees this thread and realises what an arse they are. You couldn't afford the taxi, so you arranged a lift. If they didn't want to pay for a taxi they could have arranged their own lifts. Then, you kindly offered spaces in your car to others. For you to then have to pay towards THEIR taxis is crazy. They chose to get the taxis, not you. If I'd been going on this day I would have budgeted for a taxi or arranged my own lift.

They are being tits.

RobbieWeirdicht · 07/03/2022 20:29

If £14 each is the going rate for this transport then you should invoice the three people you and your DH gave lifts to and they should cough up the money, I think that's only fair.

buddylicious · 07/03/2022 20:29

Just say that as money is a little tight at the moment you asked your partner to give you a lift rather than get a taxi.

Leave it at that!

gettingolderandgrumpy · 07/03/2022 20:30

No course you shouldn’t pay in fact those that went with you shouldn’t either . honestly I don’t get the logic at all you didn’t go in the taxi so you don’t pay for taxi .

SarahProblem · 07/03/2022 20:30

You're completely right OP.

What were the arrangements for the other activities was that split? What was the discussion beforehand? Any agreement such as the ' birthday girl' not paying?

sweetbellyhigh · 07/03/2022 20:32

All kinds of wrong, fuck them all.

Original poster
GracieLouFreeebush · 07/03/2022 20:33

What were the arrangements for the other activities was that split? What was the discussion beforehand? Any agreement such as the ' birthday girl' not paying?

I think different people paid for her as her present but I’m not 100% on that. I’m annoyed I’m not in the group because I would like to see the conversation that went on, I don’t know the birthday girl enough to ask her, lots of the group are her family.

OP posts:
vampirewellness · 07/03/2022 20:35

But surely if your DH hadn't picked you up an extra taxi would have cost everyone much more?

Original poster
GracieLouFreeebush · 07/03/2022 20:37

But surely if your DH hadn't picked you up an extra taxi would have cost everyone much more?

YEP! Each taxi cost between £60-£70 so it would have been that on top.

OP posts:
DoubleYouOhEmAyEn · 07/03/2022 20:37

I'm with you. Fuck 'em.

MermaidEyes · 07/03/2022 20:38

What a weird petty bunch. Sounds like you have a lovely accommodating partner and some normal friends somewhere, you won't miss this lot.

Masdintle · 07/03/2022 20:39

£14 each? Did they have a car each or were there 3 in each car? If 3 in each car how far was the taxi journey? 100 miles? Sounds like you been charged for them all to get home too. What if you hadn't been drinking and had driven your own car? Would they have expected you to pay then? Definitely cheeky fuckery of the highest order

Mumoftwoinprimary · 07/03/2022 20:39

Ok - I’ve done the maths of this:-

Cost of taxis is 14*19 = 266.

Amount everyone charged if Op doesn’t pay is 266 / 18 = £14.78.

19 people - Op takes 4 so 15 so need 4 taxis.

No Op then they would have needed 5. So cost of taxis is 266 / 4 * 5 = £332. Divided between 18 means £18.47.

So Op being there saved everyone £4. They should have been buying you drinks all night Op!

Jengnr · 07/03/2022 20:40

Why would you pay for a taxi you didn’t get? That doesn’t make it ‘fair’

Masdintle · 07/03/2022 20:40

So why didn't the organiser hire a minibus? £70 would get me to the airport two hours away! Gobsmacked

MermaidEyes · 07/03/2022 20:40

£60-70?! Were you travelling halfway across the country!?!

ElegantlyTouched · 07/03/2022 20:40

Out of interest, how many could get in each taxi?

tattychicken · 07/03/2022 20:41

Has Uber Booking Lady made a profit do you think? Doesn't fit that the 3 other people who didn't get a taxi paid for a taxi? It's not like it was a pre paid minibus that left with empty seats, that would make more sense.

gettingolderandgrumpy · 07/03/2022 20:41

I Love how the CF said to make it fair we all pay the same **
Yeah really fair that your dh gave up his time and petrol to drive but you still have to pay the same as everyone else to make it ‘fair ‘
She’s the biggest CF going how can your friend even justify that is fine and say they are upset I’d just laugh at the ridiculousness of the cf and say that actually your upset too being asked to pay for something that you didn’t use .

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