To ask when you're treated differently

[buddylicious]

Another post has made me think about this ...

Do you still encounter situations when men and women are treated differently? A couple of examples are:

1. I went to buy a new car and my husband came with me. I told the salesman it was for me yet he literally just spoke to my husband about the car. (This was a few years ago. I should have said something. I would now).

1. The man is automatically given the restaurant bill. (My brother has told me that years ago, when eating in good restaurants, they would give the men and women two different menus, ie the man's had prices on and the women's didn't)!!!

Where to start. Pretty sure the chap who stuck his hand up my skirt and had a rummage up my vag while I was a silver service waitresses at the age of 15 wouldn't have done it to one of the boys waiting the tables. The woman in charge of all the waters and waitresses tore strips off the man for being a dirty b@stard, but it never occurred to me until recently that the police should have been called... then there was the time I tried to offer on a house. The agent refused to accept the offer until my husband had seen the house... "we get women getting carried away all the time".... husband duly met the agent at the front gate and confirmed the offer while refusing to enter the house on account if his wife being the decision maker... then more recently at work a supplier came in to demonstrate his product. Myself and the other woman in the room are both Directors. We were accompanied by two junior male members of our respective teams. Supplier sat in a position that meant his balls did most of his pitch and completely ignored the two women... my team member kept saying... "well I think the Queen is the decision maker..." no avail. Patronising arse. It was a good product but over my dead body will we buy it now .... then there was the time I manned reception while the receptionist went to a docs appt..just helping out.. interviewee arrived. Utterly rude. Complained about me and then appeared to lose control of his bowels when the CEO called me into finish the interview up.... God I could go on and on... I keep thinking of more examples!

Internet was broken and technician came to fix it, turned out cables needed redoing in the walls. Oh No that will probably be expensive I said. Don't worry he said, it's your landlords responsibility so I will give you a report and he will have to pay for it.
Oh really, because he is me!

Whenever I go on a work night out. Oh so your husband is babysitting tonight than.
No he's actually back at home looking after his children.

Many, many gigs where I've been assumed to be a WAG.

At one, I'd just rolled a bass cab and about three hundred miles of XLRs through the door and was walking back in after a break to be told by some twat that if I wanted to come in and watch the band play, it would cost me twenty quid. Mate, I've been here since load in. And if you don't let me through the door, there might be a bit of a problem with the band. Other gigs, well, you could refuse me entry but you know how they're asking where the Soundman is over there? That's me.

Then there was the sheer impossibility of getting anyone to serve me in Curry's because I didn't have a man to interpret for me. That cost them thousands.

However, I've never had an issue with trades or builders' yards. They never seem to have trouble understanding a request for 1220 by 610 by 9 mil ply. Once they're over about 20, at any rate.

I was having a loft conversion, I worked from home (pre Covid). Scaffolder said my husband must earn a packet to afford a loft conversion!!

I must have a certain look about me, or tone of voice because I rarely, if ever, get treated like this?

My parents ran a central heating company from home.

My mum did most of the phone answering and occasionally someone (always male) would ask, "Can I speak to your manager love?" she would always reply that there was no manager available but he could speak to one of the directors.

She would then sit in silence waiting for the penny to drop.

I've remembered another one. I worked in a property investment company. The consultation rooms were directly facing the reception desk. A male client came in and was ushered into one of the rooms by one of the sales consultants. The client had his baby with him. I was very not into babies at the time so I doubt i gave him/her more than a cursory glance but that didn't stop the dad charging over and thrusting baby into my arms before disappearing into the consultation room. Myself and my ignored male colleague simply stood aghast.

@Nowomenaroundeh

I've remembered another one. I worked in a property investment company. The consultation rooms were directly facing the reception desk. A male client came in and was ushered into one of the rooms by one of the sales consultants. The client had his baby with him. I was very not into babies at the time so I doubt i gave him/her more than a cursory glance but that didn't stop the dad charging over and thrusting baby into my arms before disappearing into the consultation room. Myself and my ignored male colleague simply stood aghast.

Woah! I'd have passed the baby to your male colleague!!!

@Mix56

All the time... had a young technicien doing annual revision of air con in my office, in my firm. I was discussing one unit that was malfunctioning & asked if he had photoed the serial number to see is there were parts available. He turned around & said, "Naaaa, they can afford it, when I speak to the boss he'll replace it..." Livid, does not cover it.

Ha ha ha, What did you say? I bet his face was a picture

ChampagneLassie... It doesn't happen often, but I was so stunned that I said nothing !!! I did however drop an email to his boss. saying that the guy had omitted to take a photo for the ref for parts, as he told me that the the boss was a stooge & he could afford a replacement !!!

@Adatwistscientist

My male colleagues will often look to the women to write notes during a meeting or be the person who writes and collects all the post it notes in a facilitation session. Because "you're better at it" - time for some practice then, don't you think? I had to sit and ignore the nudging of a Sharpie towards me for half an hour last week.

I was going to say this. I did some training with two male colleagues and they saw my notebook that I'd taken to make notes for myself and told me to make sure I got it all down so I can make copies for them. One is an older gentleman and is really old fashioned; absolutely won't let me help him carry heavy thing and refuses to go through a door before me, so I wasn't overly offended by him. I didn't make any notes though.

Had men working on the water mains outside my practice (medical field). My business partner (male and not the primary clinician) shows up chats to them about what's happening etc. Then workmen turn to me and says "cuppa tea, milk, two sugars" (me, the primary clinician who has a very busy clinic to see to). I literally laughed in his face as if what he said was preposterous and walked off.

Another business one, on opening the practice patients say "and you MUST be the Numnumcookie (in the business name) to a male employee. I'm standing right there with my badge on, having just seen them clinically . Oh no, the man must be the business owner....

@Numnumcookie Did your male partner and employee put them straight? If not then they're just as bad.