Or are most men a bit rubbish in bed?

[TootsAtOwls]

I promise I’m not a journalist, not am I asking you to tell me your smutty stories. I’m just interested to know if I’m alone in this:

Most men seem to have sex in the same way: a bit of snogging, then give the nipples a tweak on the way to going down on you. If you’re lucky you might get an orgasm that way before the thrusting starts.

The thing is, I think these men think they’re great in bed because they always bang on about how giving oral sex is their favourite thing. But for me it’s pointless if it’s a standalone act while ignoring the rest of me.It just makes me feel like they’re doing it as a means to an end rather than because they’re delighting in every bit of my body. It’s like the scene in friends where Monica says don’t just go straight in to 7, dot around the numbers a bit….

So yanbu: yes, most men stick to a well-worn and not especially interesting routine

Yabu: you’ve been unlucky, loads of men are extremely skilled at sex

Yanbu!! Unless we've both been unlucky

Yanbu.

YABU

How many men have you slept with? To base this strange view on

I've only had one experience of shit sex, plenty of great sex

That's not been my experience overall no. But if you're talking about a long term partner, how much variety are you expecting? And what are your moves? Do you have a wide and varied selection that you switch around? It's a two way street, not all up to the guy to make it happen.

Definitely nbu

I think that you've got to start demanding what you want. If these are casual partners then it will be a means to an end. A lot of men don't do oral, so it could be even more dismal. If it isn't working for you, end it or ask for what you want.

I think you've been unfortunate or perhaps you've not told them that you would like xyz as well?

Something in the middle is my general experience. So neither YABU or YANBU!

YANBU !
I've had sex with lots of men and this is generally how it goes, with one exception (Reader, I married him).
You forgot the half-assed rubbing of the clit for a minute (if they can find it)
It's a wonder we're all not lesbian!

God that's depressing. I've only had a few (very few! Serial monogamist who married boyfriend met at 20) but sex was good, caring & passionate in all cases.

(Sigh. Abusive marriage ended 8 years ago & not even been able to contemplate a relationship since).

Just be grateful they have gone down on you! Some men skip that bit, no finger work and straight to legs pushed behind your head thrusting! Porn has a lot to answer for.

because they’re delighting in every bit of my body.

Think you’ve overdosed on Mills and Boon 😂

Worst sex I ever had was with my ex-husband. It's honestly the main reason (in my head) as to why I couldn't see myself being able to put up with it all my life 😖 However, he was (and still is) of the opinion that he's Don Juan in bed because probably all his women are like me and spare his feelings by telling him lies and faking it. He was very very good-looking when he was younger, so you would never see it coming but sex with him was actual torture.

On the other hand, I had the best sex with a former colleague of mine who wasn't at all handsome and definitely didn't look like Don Juan, but he was spectacular! You never know

I guess try going to uglier guys? 😂

Not my experience.

Yanbu

@Blossomtoes

because they’re delighting in every bit of my body.

Think you’ve overdosed on Mills and Boon 😂

Ha! Point taken 😄 I guess what I'm not enjoying is the feeling that they do stuff ostensibly for my pleasure (I've been lucky in that every man I've been with has been enthusiastic about giving oral sex) but it's so obviously to get my orgasm ticked off so they can get on with theirs.

@Wizzbangfizz

Just be grateful they have gone down on you! Some men skip that bit, no finger work and straight to legs pushed behind your head thrusting! Porn has a lot to answer for.

🤮

I guess what I'm not enjoying is the feeling that they do stuff ostensibly for my pleasure (I've been lucky in that every man I've been with has been enthusiastic about giving oral sex) but it's so obviously to get my orgasm ticked off so they can get on with theirs.

That's really sad to read.

Didn't think I'd anything to thank my abusive horrible ex for, but to be honest, he never ever made me feel that way.

@Wizzbangfizz

Just be grateful they have gone down on you! Some men skip that bit, no finger work and straight to legs pushed behind your head thrusting! Porn has a lot to answer for.

Yep! I do think men have skewed ideas about what women want. Leaving aside the obvious choking etc, they seem to think we just want a big dick, thrusting for hours... not to mention the hard and fast rubbing of the clitoris (or thereabouts 🙄)

In my experience 50%. 4 were "meh" and the other 4 were excellent and I married the best of them all

Yanbu.

@DrGoogleSaysSo My "best ever in bed" colleague was also married i didn't want to mention that. The best always are.

@TootsAtOwls

Honestly, how many men have you slept with

Hopefully this is lighthearted and you don't actually believe your small sample size of shit sexual partners is representative of most men

Yanbu

I think I must have been lucky because most of the men I've been with have been pretty good