Or are most men a bit rubbish in bed?

[TootsAtOwls]

I promise I’m not a journalist, not am I asking you to tell me your smutty stories. I’m just interested to know if I’m alone in this:

Most men seem to have sex in the same way: a bit of snogging, then give the nipples a tweak on the way to going down on you. If you’re lucky you might get an orgasm that way before the thrusting starts.

The thing is, I think these men think they’re great in bed because they always bang on about how giving oral sex is their favourite thing. But for me it’s pointless if it’s a standalone act while ignoring the rest of me.It just makes me feel like they’re doing it as a means to an end rather than because they’re delighting in every bit of my body. It’s like the scene in friends where Monica says don’t just go straight in to 7, dot around the numbers a bit….

So yanbu: yes, most men stick to a well-worn and not especially interesting routine

Yabu: you’ve been unlucky, loads of men are extremely skilled at sex

I actually agree with you op!

Most of the men I’ve had sex with have followed a routine very similar to the above!

I have had some mind blowing sex and I’ve had mediocre sex. My sample size is slightly limited tho.

I like to think I’m quite adventurous and I do enjoy a bit of rough sex nothing beats a bloody good pounding from DH but I hate the whole porn aspect etc - I do enjoy trying new things

Have to admit I hate oral I don’t mind giving but I really am not keen! I always thought it was something I was doing wrong but I’m just not that into receiving it.

It's been a long time since I had sex with a man (been with a woman for the past 5 years) so I'm really trying to remember

I think I have had good sex with men, but looking back, it was probably more about where my head was at (no pun intended...believe it or not!) at the time. If I was feeling confident and sexy, the sex was better. I remember some awful sex though and I could have been feeling the sexiest woman alive, nothing would have helped!

So basically what I'm saying is, yes I have, but I take all the credit

Very different story with women.

@ginforever

YANBU! Coming from a “hot blood” country , I do miss Latinos. They are the best and hot, and bed time lasts hours. It is a torture having sex with English man. The best men that I had the chance to have sex with before signing my death sentence to an English man was Turkish and Spanish. Well, You are not wrong, that’s all I can say. I believe it’s a cultural thing to be honest. Unfortunately many man just need a little fast shag and are not interested at all in the romantic part of it all :(

Mrs hr is Russian-Lithuanian, she's on a different planet to 99.9% of English women. Is very confident in the bedroom, pushy ballsy, and every good communicator likes to lead and be lead.

Tbh all the Eastern European women have been very forward and passionate.

Although I would say chem sex, re sex on MDMA and other similar drugs breaks down any prohibitions for all personalities and nationalities.

I've slept with a lot of men - not ashamed - and in my experience, a lot of them are really just very average, meh, whatever at the whole sex thing. The majority do think that it is all to do with the intercourse thing. I guess that's why Clinton was so "I did not have sex with that woman" because no intercourse = that's not really sex. Of course, he was also lying, but whatever. Some of the experiences were one night stands and I don't really think those count because it's two people scratching an itch. The ones I ended up in long term relationships with were the ones who seemed to get that it was more than just the whole thrusting and grunting.

That said, I think that a lot of women aren't particularly great either. I've been told by men that I'm v good at the sex which given that sometimes I've barely done more than just lie there because I couldn't be arsed makes me wonder what their other experiences have been like. Mostly, I am - or was, I haven't had a relationship in quite a few years - pretty enthusiastic which I guess is a good thing but I'm not convinced I'm some sort of sex goddess just that men's expectations are very low.

Ultimately, maybe a lot of men and women are just not so sure of themselves sexually and so there are a lot of not so great sexual experiences compared to really good ones. YANBU but I think there's a deeper conversation to be had about what we all want and need but aren't really talking about with the one person we should.

I've had...a fair bit of experience and most were pretty good. I only had 2..mediocre experiences and i put that down to men being nervous rather than bad. No offence intended but I do wonder when women complain about men's quality in bed - sex is two way. No-one is inherently "bad" you're just not compatible. I view sex a bit like eating - fine dining is wonderful, but sometimes I enjoy a dirty take away, and a simple poached egg on toast can be fantastic. Basically I think you can find pleasure with most people but it is about what you put in as much as what you get out.

Anyone else happy with the kiss-nipples-oral-sex routine or is that just me?! Familiar, know what I'm getting and satisfied as he knows exactly what to do down there!

@EmmaM84

Anyone else happy with the kiss-nipples-oral-sex routine or is that just me?! Familiar, know what I'm getting and satisfied as he knows exactly what to do down there!

I like kiss - sex. Can't be doing with foreplay!

@BertramLacey

One time I read in Forum magazine about being peed on the clit and we tried it after he drank gallons of water...well, litres maybe. Covered the bed with plastic sheeting and thick towels where I was and did the deed. It was epic and the only time I ever didn't fake orgasm. Never did it again.

You know you can just use the shower head, right?

Yeah what a faff Power shower 🚿 is the way forward