Or are most men a bit rubbish in bed?

[TootsAtOwls]

I promise I’m not a journalist, not am I asking you to tell me your smutty stories. I’m just interested to know if I’m alone in this:

Most men seem to have sex in the same way: a bit of snogging, then give the nipples a tweak on the way to going down on you. If you’re lucky you might get an orgasm that way before the thrusting starts.

The thing is, I think these men think they’re great in bed because they always bang on about how giving oral sex is their favourite thing. But for me it’s pointless if it’s a standalone act while ignoring the rest of me.It just makes me feel like they’re doing it as a means to an end rather than because they’re delighting in every bit of my body. It’s like the scene in friends where Monica says don’t just go straight in to 7, dot around the numbers a bit….

So yanbu: yes, most men stick to a well-worn and not especially interesting routine

Yabu: you’ve been unlucky, loads of men are extremely skilled at sex

Growing up in the "Free Love" era, I've had my share of bedmates. I'd say it was about 50-50. I will also say that many of the 50% that were good, were also pretty damned mechanical about it all. They did all the right things in all the right ways, but...it was like they were checking off a list that they got from Playboy magazine. The very best of them all were those who genuinely liked women, both in and out of bed, and there were precious few of those.

I reckon the majority of guys are as you described, maybe 80%? But there are definitely men out there that will blow your mind. I think it depends a LOT on connection and communication though, and whether he can really be bothered at the time😂

(Based on personal experience and what I’ve heard from friends over the years)

I'm not sure that you can really tell in the kinds of scenarios you are talking about.

In my experience for many people, for really good sex, both people have to be pretty comfortable with each other and take a fair bit of time to find out what works for them, what pace, whatever.

There are people who find almost all sex pretty good, too, and I don't think you can compare, say, a middle aged woman who enjoys most sex even without much foreplay, is comfortable communicating with her partner who has a good grasp of what works for her, with a young woman who is with more casual partners, who doesn't really know what sex works for her all that well, and maybe just needs a lot more to enjoy it at all.

It doesn't help that the men in the latter case may also be younger themselves.

Christ on a bike, the entitlement here is depressing. What are you doing for his pleasure / enjoyment / satisfaction? Just lying there to see what he does and then judge him? Lovely.

Before I married I had plenty of women, ONS, flings & short relationships and my experience is that many women are mediocre in bed, timid, quiet and passive. You have a guy who wants to go down on you and can make you come? Result. Sorry if he didn't spend enough time on your calves or bum cheeks on the way down.

If you are with a guy who you like enough to go to bed with, I'd guess 70% of men want to please you but might not know how. Tell him what he needs to do.

For both your sakes.

@RedCandyApple

I agree about the oral, lots of men don’t even like doing that so I think you’ve been lucky there most just want to skip straight to it!

Quite a lot of women don't much like it either, both giving and receiving.

It's one of those things I think a good number of people would rather give up but no one wants to say so.

Not been with men, just women, but literally never had bad sex, with any woman ever. Always great.
And the difference that I can see m, talking to my lesbian friends, guy friends and straight women friends is that women really talk, communicate and guide during sex together.
If she’s not quite there for me, I’ll guide her it’s at some thing or change position, I’ll say what I’d like, need and vice Versa. And not in a bossy instructional way, it just sorting happens naturally.
And from what I can gather - again not having been with guys- women together take their time a lot more.

YABU

Love oral and my partner loves giving it

*Quite a lot of women don't much like it either, both giving and receiving.

It's one of those things I think a good number of people would rather give up but no one wants to say so.*

Can only speak about my own situation but my ex expected it every single time but rarely did it to me, maybe once every couple of months, I don’t think I would put up with that again, very one sided. only since being on mn I realised how many women don’t like receiving!

Yanbu. porn has made it 100% worst. Men expect anal as standard, many wont even kiss and none even go near the clit.
They want you degarded on your knees or bent over while they pull your hair. Fuck the fuck right off.

Geez. Think I’ve had around 100 partners and I’d agree- the majority of British men are shit in bed. My best experiences have been with women or French or Italian men.

@Russo

@OllyBJolly

Geez. Think I’ve had around 100 partners and I’d agree- the majority of British men are shit in bed. My best experiences have been with women or French or Italian men.

That's just rubbish

Jeez how miserable! How can you not like receiving oral

The absolute best I ever had was with a lesbian porn enthusiast who also liked to massage me for hours.

I honestly do think alot of it depends on the type of porn they watch.

It's a bit of a mixed bag in my experience. Some are shite, some are OK. Some are boring. A few a very good.

I had one years ago who made it his mission to 'defeat' my record number of orgams in one session. He told me as much. It was quite clear that he genuinely enjoyed giving me them. Though I think he also gave him sort of mental bragging rights because he was well aware of the fact that he was very good between the sheets.

Dp used to be fantastic but is quite frankly a bit shit now which is a shame. To the point where I tell him to piss off now when he tries on the lazy man's wank with no warm up. It's very frustrating.

That being said, the best sex always has the best communication. They can't give you what you want if you don't let them know (and it doesn't have to be verbal). But they also need to listen and pick up on other more subtle queues

@AuntTwacky

Jeez how miserable! How can you not like receiving oral

So many women on here don’t, I’m really surprised how many women don’t like it!

Jeez how miserable! How can you not like receiving oral

I also didn't until meeting the previously mentioned guy! I'm not a fan of epileptic tongues.

Why do PP not like Nate? He WAS a nice guy and she should have stayed with him!

Oops, ignore. Wrong threaf 🤣

@Closetbeanmuncher

Jeez how miserable! How can you not like receiving oral

I also didn't until meeting the previously mentioned guy! I'm not a fan of epileptic tongues.

Are we talking about a feathery stroker?!

I dont like oral. Kept thinking it was maybe because the people who were doing it were bad at it. But nope had oral from lots of men and quite a few women and I just dont like it.
Love giving it though. To both sexes.

Most of my early twenties was spent having shit sex tbh, why do men think sticking one finger in and out of you should make you cum?