To want husband to take kids out on Christmas Day

[RichmondMumof2]

whilst I prepare Christmas Lunch? Every year as year end approaches I ask DH to take the children out on Christmas Day from 11:00-13:30. My brother, sister in law and an elderly neighbour will all arrive at 13:30 for lunch. Christmas lunch for 7 takes focus.

The kids are 6 and 3 and have a preference to hang out with mummy. I have made this request every year for the past few years. The kids want me to play with them whilst I make a Christmas Lunch. This results in me ultimately denying every request for attention as I'm chopping / basting / stirring/ steaming the puddings or setting the table. It seems to me the obvious way to make most people happy. Kids go for a yomp round the park or to the playground and then come back hungry and ready to eat.

DH always says no as there is nowhere open or suggests they should be with me on Christmas Day. He doesn't drive so has limited options.

One year we tried a Cook Christmas lunch to take the work off but I feel I want to cook a nice meal. There is a lot to it and I actually enjoy cooking when not constantly interrupted.

I have offered that I'll take the kids out and return to a DH prepared Christmas Lunch for 7 on the table. This doesn't fly.

Am I alone on this and AIBU?

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all. What does he normally do while you’re cooking Christmas lunch? Does he not at least help keep them out of your way and distract them with something else?

Sorry but I think YABU, where are you expecting him to take them for 2 1/2 hours on Christmas Day? It’ll be freezing outside! Won’t they want to be indoors playing with their presents?

2.5 hrs is far too long but he could take them for an hour for a walk or to the park.

Prepare veg, potatoes, desserts on Christmas Eve.

Just to add, I think you’re reasonable to want him to entertain / keep them out of the way while you cook but surely he could do that in the house!

I little walk to the park is fine request but to ask they are out for 2 and a half hours on Christmas Day is pretty brutal. Having kids round your feet is part and parcel of Christmas cooking. Do as much prep as possible the day before, crack open the fizz and just relax. Who cares if dinner is served a little late?

Way to long on Christmas Day. What are they meant to do? Would you be happy if he took them to the pub, which will be about the only thing open,

Yeh to agree with PPs I think the amount of time is unreasonable. Up to an hour would be fine.

A short walk or to visit someone nearby, fine. Demanding he vacate the house with two young children for 2.5 hours, totally unreasonable.

A long walk would be good for kids if it's not raining. Otherwise - get him to sit with them to watch a nice film/cartoon.

Seriously stop prioritising a meal over your husband's and children's comfort, it will be freezing hanging around somewhere outside just for the sake of it.

I'm with your husband on this one, who wants to be outside in the cold for 2 and a half hours with children moaning because they want to be at home playing with their toys. Can't he keep them occupied at home?

If he won't take them out, and I don't blame him, you need to emphasise that while you're prepping, the kids are his responsibility and should be hanging out with him for the duration.
But...next year, I'd cut back on all the preparations and enjoy such a special day with the kids. You're missing out on family time by spending a the bulk of the day in the kitchen.

It will be freezing. Might even be blowing a blizzard. You can’t just turf them out.

Make your turkey the day before. Or perhaps do a casserole instead. Anything you can cook the day before.

Sides? prepare them ahead and freeze them.

Veg. Prepare for cooking on Christmas Eve then cook on Christmas Day.

Pudding? Put it in the microwave for 8 mins and serve with a carton of fresh custard.

That said - I’m not actually convinced youre not pulling our legs.

Nowhere will be open except the pub! Just set clear boundaries that kids have to play with Daddy while you’re cooking. So they can all stay indoors but are Dad’s responsibility. Pop some headphones in and cook away. Just keep redirecting our Dad if they come at you.

I would expect him to be 100% in charge of the children while you cook. It is his job to keep them out of the kitchen. How he completes this task should be up to him.

If it comes to it, be explicit and use a piece of tape on the ground to show the border that must not be crossed during lunch prep.

We all help peel and chop Xmas eve.
Takes however long to put the pans on Xmas day. Not missing time with my dc cooking for hours!! There are 10 of us.

Agree with everyone else. I can understand you wanting the kids out for peace to get organised and because it's good for them but 2.5 hours is completely unreasonable. You need to get more organised ahead or accept your meal isn't going to be as fancy. A happy day with your kids and family is what matters.

Totally unreasonable! 2.5hours out in the cold when they’ll want to be home playing with their presents!! Maybe half hour to an hour is ok but any longer just seems mean! Just ask him to play with them, when they come to you just have a little chat / play and carry on! Honestly Christmas dinner is just a slightly posher Sunday roast and I bet you don’t kick them out the house for that every week

Why do the kids have a preference for mummy? Is it because Daddy is bone idle?
Yabu to say he should take them out for 2.5 hours, but a walk round the block and him keeping them out of the kitchen while you're prepping and cooking sounds fair.
Also yes to doing as much as you can in advance as a pp said.

You're not unreasonable to expect him to take them out for an hour to the park/for a walk, but 2.5 hours is a bit long for them to be hanging about outside.

Why are you still chopping anything on Christmas Day? Or steaming puddings? Totally unnecessary - you need to prep!

Agree that 2.5 hours is too long outside the house but I dont see why he cant play with them for that time and stop them distracting you? Surely playing with their new toys and maybe a few board games is enough to distract them? I'm a single parent and can ask my 5 year old to let me cook with no issues so not sure why he cant keep them out of your way 🤷‍♀️

YABU. If my dp asked me to take the kids out on Christmas day for 2 and a half hours he would swiftly be told where to go.

Agh no not two and a half hours. But he should be entertaining them.

Is the big Christmas lunch important to him at all? My DH is the cook of the family and I am forever getting wound up on Christmas Day when he absents himself for hours preparing this massive meal (which is delicious but we won’t eat all of it). Surely Christmas Day is for spending with the family and putting on a normal roast (which is also delicious)?

Also, they are 6 and 3, they don't need entertaining every minute of the day. They should be able to amuse themselves for a couple of hours with him supervising.

What do you normally do of making Sunday lunch? Similar set up really.

Shut the kitchen door, stick Xmas tunes on and let them enjoy their presents, chase them out the kitchen if needs be, they're likely to be more interested in their new toys etc.

However I'd scale back on preparations as others have said.