To want husband to take kids out on Christmas Day

[RichmondMumof2]

whilst I prepare Christmas Lunch? Every year as year end approaches I ask DH to take the children out on Christmas Day from 11:00-13:30. My brother, sister in law and an elderly neighbour will all arrive at 13:30 for lunch. Christmas lunch for 7 takes focus.

The kids are 6 and 3 and have a preference to hang out with mummy. I have made this request every year for the past few years. The kids want me to play with them whilst I make a Christmas Lunch. This results in me ultimately denying every request for attention as I'm chopping / basting / stirring/ steaming the puddings or setting the table. It seems to me the obvious way to make most people happy. Kids go for a yomp round the park or to the playground and then come back hungry and ready to eat.

DH always says no as there is nowhere open or suggests they should be with me on Christmas Day. He doesn't drive so has limited options.

One year we tried a Cook Christmas lunch to take the work off but I feel I want to cook a nice meal. There is a lot to it and I actually enjoy cooking when not constantly interrupted.

I have offered that I'll take the kids out and return to a DH prepared Christmas Lunch for 7 on the table. This doesn't fly.

Am I alone on this and AIBU?

FWIW OP I completely empathise with you wanting to cook a very nice meal and your need for peace while you do it. Only in MN would you get a load of sanctimonious “aw but think of the kiddies, it’s all about them” Sod that, I might enjoy watching their little faces light up but crap food would spoil my Christmas no matter how much childish joy I witnessed.

That said, asking your husband to take them out for 2.5 hours is way OTT. However you are being unspeakably wet about tolerating the fact that he can’t keep them out of your way in the house while you cook. One of them is young enough that it’s actually dangerous to be round your feet in the kitchen while you’re cooking. Why on earth can’t your husband enforce the rule? You say he is good at rules. On Xmas day of all days there is quite a lot of other stuff to do. Put your foot down, even put your headphones in if that helps. Make use of all available doors.

YABU! 2.5hours in the park on Christmas day is a long time!

A short walk/run around or scooters and bikes is fine to request, but you're asking too much to suggest they go out for that length of time. Surely with all their new toys DH can play with them while you cook or they could watch a Christmas film. And why can't you both just share responsibility for lunch and childcare and surely your children can play alone for short periods too- if not it's time you started teaching them to!

Yabu. Where would they go for that long at those ages and not be cold and miserable?

My dh cooks christmas dinner and I entertain the children. Nobody needs to leave the house. Your dh needs to either do the cooking or keep them entertained.

Where do you expect them to go!

It’s a roast for 7 people, hardly difficult prep the veg etc the night before, cook and reheat in the microwave, do the bread sauce or whatever the same Turkey and potatoes into roast

Tell your dh to keep the kids occupied with their presents at 6 and 3 they are old enough to to understand mums busy so they need to play with dad

Stop making a meal out of making the dinner. Sorry but it’s a roast with a few extras it does not warrant your kids having to leave the house for over 2 hours on Xmas day when all they want to do is pay with their toys. Get your husband to do the chopping and prep and then swap.

Can he cook ?
Or just divert them ?

ffs

You (with the help of your dh) need to prep more and ask your brother to contribute with some food. 2,5hrs cooking for 5 (the children are too young to appreciate 2,5hrs of cooking!) is just too much on Christmas Day, even if you enjoy it.

I can't believe how many people are saying the OP is unreasonable for not spending all of Christmas Eve frantically prepping so she can entertain her DC all christmas morning (in between nipping out to baste a turkey) while her lazy arse husband sits on his lazy arse! FFS! Women's fucking work!

Tell him to cook the roast or entertain the kids. Neither are that fucking hard.

And set the table the day before.

YABU. Compromise is the key here. Who the hell wants to be tromping round a park for over 2 hours on Christmas Day.
45 mins, maybe.
It’s a Sunday dinner with 3 extra guests, not a banquet for 50.

Absolutely not being unreasonable for wanting him to occupy them but not sure where he would possibly them on Christmas Day? I mean a walk is an option but it's too cold and wet to go out for 2.5 hours. Can't he occupy them at home?

Dp normally takes the kids to see his mhm Christmas Eve as usually spend Christmas just the 4 of us.

With DH I find offering one of two jobs works for getting him to actually do something. "Do you want to take the kids to the park or cook dinner?"

OP it might be worth checking out the thread about adults behaving badly at Christmas. Definitely not saying you are anywhere near some of the stories there., but do keep in mind how your stress levels about making the perfect dinner may be impacting your family. It's just not worth it.

A walk church a game and a film could easily fill the time.

@Plopcorn

And set the table the day before.

Him! He can set the table. If his dick doesn't get in the way.

Kids will want to stay in to play with toys kicking them out gor 2 and a half hours is totaly unreasonable.
You have loads of options.
Do most of the cooking on christmas eve, turkey can be carved and reheated in gravy. Gravy can be cooked and frozen weeks before hand or bought ready made, mash can be cooked day before or again bought ready made. Prep any fresh veg and leave in cold water in a pot. Buy frozen roast potatoes- aunt bessies honey glazed parsnips are lovely. Buy a gateau or similar for dessert.
Share the tasks with your OH.
Make sure you have clean plates, cutlery serving spoons at least th hand or set the table the night before.

With some careful planning, lowering your standards and sharing work with your Oh should mean you will spend 20 minutes each max in the kitchen on christmas day, and that will just be popping back and fordawrd to check on stuff and throw things in the oven.

@RepentMotherfucker OP has already said he's very hands on the she gives into the the kids want mummy problem.

Yabu. Put on a Xmas movie and both of you prep lunch. There's alot that can be done ahead.

Absolutely bonkers. Again imagine if it was the husband saying he couldn’t manage a roast dinner without kicking his wife and kids out of the house. On Christmas Day.

It’s their Christmas too and you’re being ridiculous.

It's a roast dinner for 7 fgs, stop being so dramatic. You'd rather turf your family out of their house for 2.5 hours on Xmas day when they have new toys to play with than lower your standards or prep more the night before. Bonkers.

Yanbu to want a bit of kitchen prep time without kids underfoot but 2.5 hours is too long. What on earth takes that long on Christmas day? Bird gets prepped first thing/night before then just sits in the oven roasting. Veg for 7 people cam be peeled and chopped in 30 mins, then if a pudding is steaming that doesn't need constant attention, neither does a roast in the oven, you can just pop into the kitchen occasionally to baste etc.

I'd get him to take them out for an hour, then in the house but he needs to be the one playing with them etc so you can pop in and out of the cooking as needed.

45 mins fine, 2.5 hours too long!

Cheat, buy most of it ready done then spend Christmas with the kids. My tips are frozen red cabbage, frozen cauliflower cheese, even frozen spuds if you like but Brussels need to be fresh.

Thank you all super mums out there.

I did laugh as the responses came in so came clean to DH. He is delighted that in general you agree I am mental.

X

Good luck all of us as we carry the load.

Let him stay home and cook lunch while you take the kids out.