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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

'They've got their own lives' and other stock phrases

552 replies

saywhatagain · 07/12/2021 18:07

I'm an adult social worker and I hear words to the tune of 'X never visits/helps because they have their own lives' many times a month.

Another popular one is 'I've worked all my life and now I have to pay, but if I'd sat on my arse my whole life / was an immigrant (etc) I'd get it all for free'.

Or another popular one, 'the GP gave me your number as my mother/father/aunt (etc) needs to go into a care home right NOW' - and 9/10 times it's a either health need not a social one or the person is nowhere near care home ready.

Tell me yours for your job, make me feel better about the Groundhog Day that my job is at the moment?

OP posts:
fratellia · 07/12/2021 18:11

Retail- something doesn’t scan or has trouble scanning ‘I suppose it’s free then! Hahaha’

McDonald’s drive-thru collection window- ‘Any sugars with hot drink?’ ‘No I’m sweet enough! Hahahaha’

Always said by middle-aged+ men

Original poster
saywhatagain · 07/12/2021 18:14

When I waited tables as teen (silver service): 'Peas please Louise'

OP posts:
BeyondMyWits · 07/12/2021 18:17

Pharmacy... the doctor said it would be here and ready in 20min.

Teaand · 07/12/2021 18:26

But my husband doesn't want anybody but me to provide the care he needs it doesn't matter that I can hardly walk due to arthritis.

mogsrus · 07/12/2021 18:54

Working in amusement arcade with biggest amount of keys around my belt and Can I help on a t shirt ..... do you work here !

madisonbridges · 07/12/2021 18:56

@saywhatagain

When I waited tables as teen (silver service): 'Peas please Louise'
Haha. We still say that at home all the time!
gukvguk · 07/12/2021 18:56

@BeyondMyWits yes! That's a popular one. Makes me so sad. Won't accept carers but wife can run herself into the ground. Sad

gukvguk · 07/12/2021 18:57

Whoops, I mean @Teaand

flymetotheloon · 07/12/2021 18:58

Wow.

What an unprofessional post from a SW bitching about the things that clients say.

Especially given recent news events.

Ever heard of confidentiality?

Aussiegirl123456 · 07/12/2021 18:59

“It’s all been a big misunderstanding” or “she’s crazy” when they’re on their fifteenth DV charge.

“I’m paying you big money to represent me so you need to do something illegal/unethical so I don’t get punished (I’m legal aid, paid by state, not you).

Or “I’m not paying you if you can’t get me off these charges” by someone who pays nothing to their legal fees.

Or when I call you I expect to get straight through to you, I’ll sack you if you don’t return future calls within 10 mins (when I’ve spent 8 hours that day as duty lawyer in court for a thousand other clients, and client is aware of this). Would love to turn around one day at the very end of my career and tell them if they want 1:1 service and quick turnarounds on communication then to hire their own solicitor.

minipie · 07/12/2021 19:00

Jeez flyme the OP is having a very minor and innocuous moan about some things she hears over and over. She’s hardly bashing the whole system or giving away specific private details.

Aussiegirl123456 · 07/12/2021 19:01

@flymetotheloon

Wow.

What an unprofessional post from a SW bitching about the things that clients say.

Especially given recent news events.

Ever heard of confidentiality?

I’m sure she has heard of confidentiality seeming as nothing confidential (or bitchy for that matter) was posted…
flymetotheloon · 07/12/2021 19:02

Highly, highly, highly unprofessional.

PooWillyNameChange · 07/12/2021 19:03

@flymetotheloon

Wow.

What an unprofessional post from a SW bitching about the things that clients say.

Especially given recent news events.

Ever heard of confidentiality?

Have you heard of it? Because I'm not sure you understand it. The whole point of the OPs post is that so many people say this, so how is anyone identifiable Hmm
SweatyYetti · 07/12/2021 19:03

My kid would never do that
They're no trouble at home
It's not my job to check they're doing their homework Hmm

gofg · 07/12/2021 19:05

Oh do get over yourself @flymetotheloon

Mumblechum0 · 07/12/2021 19:05

Don’t be silly @flymetotheloon

flymetotheloon · 07/12/2021 19:05

Social worker ethical code:

"They should work towards promoting the best interests of
individuals and groups in society and the avoidance of harm."

How do you think some clients might feel - regardless of whether they are named or not - when they discover that they are being spoken about like this in a disparaging way on a huge public platform?

Namechangedforspooky · 07/12/2021 19:05

Working in A&E, anything starting with ‘well what it was right’ is a load of bullshite!

Roselilly36 · 07/12/2021 19:06

@flymetotheloon

Wow.

What an unprofessional post from a SW bitching about the things that clients say.

Especially given recent news events.

Ever heard of confidentiality?

I have to say I agree, obviously in the wrong job, completely lacking empathy & compassion.
flymetotheloon · 07/12/2021 19:07

Take it to clinical supervision, op, and have a good hard look at yourself.

Luredbyapomegranate · 07/12/2021 19:08

@flymetotheloon

Wow.

What an unprofessional post from a SW bitching about the things that clients say.

Especially given recent news events.

Ever heard of confidentiality?

Are you.. serious 🤯
Aussiegirl123456 · 07/12/2021 19:09

@Namechangedforspooky

Working in A&E, anything starting with ‘well what it was right’ is a load of bullshite!
My mum was an a&e nurse and she said something very similar! Or the “I was just going to the toilet / painting the ceiling and I slipped onto add random object name of something stuck in rectum 😆
ViceLikeBlip · 07/12/2021 19:10

Teacher.

"my little Einstein only messes around so much because they're not being stretched enough"

"but... they got 12% in the last test?"

"yes. Because it's too easy"

flymetotheloon · 07/12/2021 19:11

Yes, Luredbyapomegranate I am serious. I work in a related field to SW and I could expect serious repercussions for posting in such a flippant and sneering way about clients I am paid to work with safely and ethically.

What makes you think this is ok or an appropriate place for this OP to vent? Have you ever read an ethical code for this kind of profession?