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'They've got their own lives' and other stock phrases
552

saywhatagain · 07/12/2021 18:07

I'm an adult social worker and I hear words to the tune of 'X never visits/helps because they have their own lives' many times a month.

Another popular one is 'I've worked all my life and now I have to pay, but if I'd sat on my arse my whole life / was an immigrant (etc) I'd get it all for free'.

Or another popular one, 'the GP gave me your number as my mother/father/aunt (etc) needs to go into a care home right NOW' - and 9/10 times it's a either health need not a social one or the person is nowhere near care home ready.

Tell me yours for your job, make me feel better about the Groundhog Day that my job is at the moment?

OP's posts:
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honeylulu · 07/12/2021 19:50

I have to say I agree, obviously in the wrong job, completely lacking empathy & compassion

The thing is, with a job like that you just have to grow a thick skin and not automatically believe every single word or you won't be helping anyone. A slightly dark sense of humour helps. Not quite the same thing but I'm a lawyer and in my profession we often deal with upsetting, distressing events. If we weren't a bit cynical and matter of fact we'd never get anything done because we'd be crying our eyes out and having nervous breakdowns.

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Aussiegirl123456 · 07/12/2021 19:50

No I really can’t put two and two together. When OP said that many clients say “they have their own lives so don’t visit”, I really can’t pin that down to which of her clients would have said that.

I do understand confidentiality. More than you do it seems. While I get your very vague point, you’ve failed to understand that the OP hasn’t actually done anything outing or degrading towards her clients.

Anybody who has challenged you has been dismissed with you undermining them. You’ve even stayed you feel the Op is lying about being a sw and have dismissed anyone else with “When you are a professional with an ethical code you might understand, but clearly you aren't” .

I’ve been a practicing legal attorney for just under two decades. I have to abide by a strict ethical code within my role. But when I say a lot of my clients use the generic phrase of “it wasn’t me”, I’m not breaking any confidentiality rules. Neither was the OP.

I’m very glad you take your role seriously, we all do. But you’ve really dragged the OP by the hair on this one, very unfair. She’s not out any clients at risk or given any confidential information. She hasn’t “ruined the profession” either. I hope you’re not so mean irl.

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chaosrabbitland · 07/12/2021 19:51

retail , its got an out of stock ticket on it , but have you got any out the back at all ?

yes of course luv , we keep it all out there so we cant sell it and make money of course

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flymetotheloon · 07/12/2021 19:52

@Aussiegirl123456

No I really can’t put two and two together. When OP said that many clients say “they have their own lives so don’t visit”, I really can’t pin that down to which of her clients would have said that.

I do understand confidentiality. More than you do it seems. While I get your very vague point, you’ve failed to understand that the OP hasn’t actually done anything outing or degrading towards her clients.

Anybody who has challenged you has been dismissed with you undermining them. You’ve even stayed you feel the Op is lying about being a sw and have dismissed anyone else with “When you are a professional with an ethical code you might understand, but clearly you aren't” .

I’ve been a practicing legal attorney for just under two decades. I have to abide by a strict ethical code within my role. But when I say a lot of my clients use the generic phrase of “it wasn’t me”, I’m not breaking any confidentiality rules. Neither was the OP.

I’m very glad you take your role seriously, we all do. But you’ve really dragged the OP by the hair on this one, very unfair. She’s not out any clients at risk or given any confidential information. She hasn’t “ruined the profession” either. I hope you’re not so mean irl.

Oh be quiet now.
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flymetotheloon · 07/12/2021 19:53

[quote RedWingBoots]@flymetotheloon give yourself a shake.

Pre-Covid I did various volunteer roles. With one organisation I often heard the first phrase when I asked about family members helping them out. Luckily quite a few of the people I helped had young neighbours who could and would help them if asked.

I also know people who work in other jobs that aren't social work quote the last two phrases when talking about some of their clients/customers.[/quote]
Volunteer roles, as valuable as they are (and I do two) are nothing like undergoing professional training and signing up to an ethical code that puts your client's welfare at the very heart of it.

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Aussiegirl123456 · 07/12/2021 19:53

Wow. You’re actually just a bully Hmm

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5128gap · 07/12/2021 19:54

And to be fair to the OP, listening to people making discriminatory remarks about what they think other people get that they don't is very very tiresome.

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bossybloss · 07/12/2021 19:54

@flymetotheloon

Wow.

What an unprofessional post from a SW bitching about the things that clients say.

Especially given recent news events.

Ever heard of confidentiality?

Confidentiality? No names have been given ..lighten up 🤣
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ftw163532 · 07/12/2021 19:54

@5zeds

I have to admit, even having contributed to the thread that I’d be so upset if I’d ever told a SW that my child didn’t visit because they had there own life. It’s the sort of thing you say when you know you are not important to your child and I’d hate that OP was bored and commenting about it on line.

Exactly.

This kind of behaviour is what damages trust in the profession.

People will read this and wonder if their social worker is mentally rolling their eyes at their distress and withdraw from the support they need as a result.

If you're genuinely a social worker and you don't understand why this is a problem then something has gone seriously wrong.
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Benjispruce5 · 07/12/2021 19:55

My child needs harder/ longer/ higher level reading books.
I’ve told him if he feels unwell he’s to tell you and I’ll take him home. (Cue child feeling unwell at 9.10am)

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mbosnz · 07/12/2021 19:55

I can only think that 'flymetotheloon's user name is singularly apt, after her response to Aussiegirl.

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Thursdaymiami · 07/12/2021 19:55

Cool to bash social workers though for having a little moan about an insanely hard job.
No wonder their aren’t any and they can’t recruit people to put up with endless shit dr people.
Be it in real life or anonymously on the internet

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Gwenhwyfar · 07/12/2021 19:55

@flymetotheloon

Wow.

What an unprofessional post from a SW bitching about the things that clients say.

Especially given recent news events.

Ever heard of confidentiality?

LMFAO. As if anyone could be identified because they said 'they have their own lives'. Don't be stupid!
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flymetotheloon · 07/12/2021 19:55

@Aussiegirl123456

Wow. You’re actually just a bully Hmm

You really are projecting very, very hard. Please stop now.
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ftw163532 · 07/12/2021 19:56

I really can’t pin that down to which of her clients would have said that.

That's not what identifiable means so you clearly do not understand confidentiality.

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IamtheDevilsAvocado · 07/12/2021 19:56

@TheProvincialLady

OP is very clearly talking about my my great aunt Kathleen Hunter of 45 Larch Road Wolverhampton and my faith in social care is now in TATTERS

No... The OP is clearly mentioning me and my neighbour/s..

Priscilla Gruntfuttock & Tommy and Ray Gunn

Grin
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thefirstmrsrochester · 07/12/2021 19:56

Teaching: oh my Jonathon is bored in class, the other pupils are holding him back.

Banking and running clients through security questions : do you want me inside leg measurement too?

Insurance, when customers claim is rejected: why isn’t this covered? I pay top dollar for this.

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mbosnz · 07/12/2021 19:57

Could you please tell me which client I had that wanted to know what sentence he'd get if he stole a slaughtered a sheep?

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Fairyliz · 07/12/2021 19:58

@lesenfantsdelesperance

How does it bring the profession into disrepute?

Well I’m currently trying to contact a social worker about my terminally ill fil.
It’s proving to be very difficult to get hold of anyone but this post rightly or wrongly gives the impression that they would consider me and fil a nuisance.
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5128gap · 07/12/2021 19:59

@ftw163532

I really can’t pin that down to which of her clients would have said that.

That's not what identifiable means so you clearly do not understand confidentiality.

What does it mean then?
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Bellafrenum · 07/12/2021 20:00

Masks on please
Sit down
Walk on the left
Face forwards please
Stop chatting
Listening
Can you put that away please?
You have a warning, now it is time to change your behaviour
Stand behind your chairs
Stop running
Listen for your names

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Thursdaymiami · 07/12/2021 20:00

@Fairyliz
Projection much!
Why do you think you can’t get hold of a social worker really??? Why???
Because they’re all cunts,
Or because they’re worked into the ground dealing with mostly aresholes and treated like scum of the earth.

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Mummy1232016 · 07/12/2021 20:01

[quote NorthSouthcatlady]@lesenfantsdelesperance didn’t you see where the people’s names, addresses and dates of birth were included Confused?!?[/quote]
Confidentiality is much more than stating someone’s identity. Either many of you don’t work in roles with proper policies around confidentiality or do and don’t follow. It’s much more than this. Whilst I couldn’t care less what the op or anyone is posting I’m so surprised by what many of your are saying. The op should hope that this and other posts aren’t putting because….regardless of what many think I would guarantee they would find themselves in trouble at work!

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MrsPerfect12 · 07/12/2021 20:01

Project manager I'm constantly hearing "dot the i's and cross the T's"

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Mummy1232016 · 07/12/2021 20:01

*outing not putting

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