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'They've got their own lives' and other stock phrases
552

saywhatagain · 07/12/2021 18:07

I'm an adult social worker and I hear words to the tune of 'X never visits/helps because they have their own lives' many times a month.

Another popular one is 'I've worked all my life and now I have to pay, but if I'd sat on my arse my whole life / was an immigrant (etc) I'd get it all for free'.

Or another popular one, 'the GP gave me your number as my mother/father/aunt (etc) needs to go into a care home right NOW' - and 9/10 times it's a either health need not a social one or the person is nowhere near care home ready.

Tell me yours for your job, make me feel better about the Groundhog Day that my job is at the moment?

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NorthSouthcatlady · 07/12/2021 19:28

@lesenfantsdelesperance didn’t you see where the people’s names, addresses and dates of birth were included Confused?!?

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flymetotheloon · 07/12/2021 19:30

@lesenfantsdelesperance

You're embarrassing yourself now, *@flymetotheloon* because you haven't understood that the OP is quoting generic phrases. That's the whole point.

No, I understand entirely, actually.

When clients access a service with the OP who claims to be a social worker (but I have my doubts given her extreme lack of professionalism) they do not do so with expectation that what they say - in specific or general terms - will be repeated to thousands of strangers online.

It doesn't matter that she hasn't named anybody. She shouldn't be repeating anything here, if she feels she's in groundhog day she needs to seek professional support from a supervision not talk negatively about clients on line , regardless of whether she names them or not.
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lesenfantsdelesperance · 07/12/2021 19:30

[quote NorthSouthcatlady]@lesenfantsdelesperance didn’t you see where the people’s names, addresses and dates of birth were included Confused?!?[/quote]
Oh. My bad! Of course. Of with the OP's head then.

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NorthSouthcatlady · 07/12/2021 19:30

My mental health isn’t great so l need you to write a letter for PIP. This is 2 minutes in Hmm
Drugs and alcohol don’t affect my mental health
Counselling doesn’t work for me (after attending 2 sessions
My mental health makes my behaviour bad, it’s not my fault and l can’t do ANYTHING about it

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5zeds · 07/12/2021 19:31

I have to admit, even having contributed to the thread that I’d be so upset if I’d ever told a SW that my child didn’t visit because they had there own life. It’s the sort of thing you say when you know you are not important to your child and I’d hate that OP was bored and commenting about it on line.

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SmellyOldOwls · 07/12/2021 19:31

'OP should take her issues to supervision. Just because none of you understand how these professions work'

LOL GrinGrinGrin yes the OP is the only SW on MN and you're the only...whatever it is you do that involves being pompous.

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flymetotheloon · 07/12/2021 19:32

@SmellyOldOwls

'OP should take her issues to supervision. Just because none of you understand how these professions work'

LOL GrinGrinGrin yes the OP is the only SW on MN and you're the only...whatever it is you do that involves being pompous.

Haha ha de ha, let's all laugh at vulnerable clients for the benefit of people on mumsnet with nothing better to do.

Gosh, it's really funny, isn't it?

Haha.
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saywhatagain · 07/12/2021 19:33

@TheProvincialLady dammit. Busted.

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HoboSexualOnslow · 07/12/2021 19:33

Yes, I am completely housebound. Don't come on Wednesday's though as I go to bingo. Fridays are out aswell as I go to the shops.
So you're not housebound then?
Yes, I am.
Continue for 10 minutes.

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lesenfantsdelesperance · 07/12/2021 19:33

You don't understand because you seem to think that these are general comments. But they aren't. They are "to the tune of", people say that sort of thing to her/him. @flymetotheloon they are generic, not general. It's not the same thing.

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Aussiegirl123456 · 07/12/2021 19:34

Oh gosh Cake

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flymetotheloon · 07/12/2021 19:34

@lesenfantsdelesperance

You don't understand because you seem to think that these are general comments. But they aren't. They are "to the tune of", people say that sort of thing to her/him. *@flymetotheloon* they are generic, not general. It's not the same thing.

You don't understand but I'm not going to explain it again. When you are a professional with an ethical code you might understand, but clearly you aren't.

Funny how many people with no understanding of these professions are desperate to defend what the OP is doing.
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5128gap · 07/12/2021 19:34

@flymetotheloon

Wow.

What an unprofessional post from a SW bitching about the things that clients say.

Especially given recent news events.

Ever heard of confidentiality?

Confidentiality is only an issue where the person can be identified. So many people say these things theres no way you could link it to an individual. And I'm not aware of any recent news about an anonymous SW mentioning that many of her clients say the same things.
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Aussiegirl123456 · 07/12/2021 19:36

Ok flymetotheloon

As the OP’s post broke confidentiality rules can you please let me know what client she was talking about so I can go and visit them as their children don’t? Thanks 🙏

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minipie · 07/12/2021 19:39

I understand the point you’re making flyme but I really don’t think the OP’s post looks sneering about her clients nor does it put SW into disrepute. She’s just having a gentle moan.

Nobody expects SW, or anyone else in a caring job, to think all the people they help are perfect and not get sick of the same old phrases and excuses.

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flymetotheloon · 07/12/2021 19:40

@Aussiegirl123456

Ok flymetotheloon

As the OP’s post broke confidentiality rules can you please let me know what client she was talking about so I can go and visit them as their children don’t? Thanks 🙏

I'm not going to explain it to you again. It's there, if you can't pick it up from what I've already explicitly said then I'm afraid I can't help you.
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Thursdaymiami · 07/12/2021 19:40

@flymetotheloon
You’ve definitely said some of those things haven’t you! Don’t worry we won’t work out who you are

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saywhatagain · 07/12/2021 19:41

You're assuming that when someone tells me their family has their own lives that I just sit there and roll my eyes - not so at all. I'm fully aware that there's a different story behind every person and I give them my ears and my time and I find ways to help them.

Doesn't change the fact that it's something I hear a lot.

Same as when I worked with male ex offenders. Almost all of them had at least one child with an ex who was evil and wouldn't let them see said child, never their fault though. It's just things you hear a lot when you do the same job for a while.

It's not about one case.

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Outlyingtrout · 07/12/2021 19:42

I understand what you're saying @flymetotheloon. I think people are entirely missing your point.

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WonderHen · 07/12/2021 19:43

@flymetotheloon

If OP were a registered SW she's have this post deleted because it brings the profession into disrepute.

People don't access social care to provide mind numbing entertainment for fools on the internet.

Well done for covering your profession in glory, OP, when its reputation is already in the gutter.



Hmm
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Thursdaymiami · 07/12/2021 19:44

The point is, op hasn’t done or said anything wrong.
You might personally not like what she’s chatting about. But that’s fuck all to do with confidentiality

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saywhatagain · 07/12/2021 19:47

@5zeds honestly often it's just the perception/expectations of the SU and the family are very much involved but perhaps don't visit as often as the SU would like rather than the family not caring. Sometimes it's said with bitterness, other times with an understanding of that being the cycle of life. Doesn't mean the family aren't in touch.

The saddest ones are when family is estranged.

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grapewine · 07/12/2021 19:47

I understand what you're saying @flymetotheloon. I think people are entirely missing your point.

Same. If that makes me a fun sponge, then so be it.

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RedWingBoots · 07/12/2021 19:49

@flymetotheloon give yourself a shake.

Pre-Covid I did various volunteer roles. With one organisation I often heard the first phrase when I asked about family members helping them out. Luckily quite a few of the people I helped had young neighbours who could and would help them if asked.

I also know people who work in other jobs that aren't social work quote the last two phrases when talking about some of their clients/customers.

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Draggondragon · 07/12/2021 19:49

Offshore. Can I pop out for a parent meeting. Well it costs 20,000 usd to mobilize a helicopter and the cover would be about the same and helicopters have a nasty way of crashing so probably not.

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