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AIBU?

'They've got their own lives' and other stock phrases

552 replies

saywhatagain · 07/12/2021 18:07

I'm an adult social worker and I hear words to the tune of 'X never visits/helps because they have their own lives' many times a month.

Another popular one is 'I've worked all my life and now I have to pay, but if I'd sat on my arse my whole life / was an immigrant (etc) I'd get it all for free'.

Or another popular one, 'the GP gave me your number as my mother/father/aunt (etc) needs to go into a care home right NOW' - and 9/10 times it's a either health need not a social one or the person is nowhere near care home ready.

Tell me yours for your job, make me feel better about the Groundhog Day that my job is at the moment?

OP posts:
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ancientgran · 07/12/2021 19:11

Me to social worker, "She's not eating, she won't accept shopping." SW "She's told me she's eating so no concerns." Me "She's also told you there are little green men in the loft and her husband has risen from the dead."

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Aussiegirl123456 · 07/12/2021 19:14

@flymetotheloon

Take it to clinical supervision, op, and have a good hard look at yourself.

Seriously, you’re such a fun zapper. OP saying that people using the phrase “she hardly ever visits because she ha her own life” is not bitching and is not breaking confidentiality of her role. It’s a common phrase that she states many people use and she hears it often. Lighthearted. Nothing outing or negative about any client she had. People like you come along onto every thread and spread your gloom around like glitter. Just shhhh
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SweatyYetti · 07/12/2021 19:15

@ViceLikeBlip

Oh yes I forgot about that classic "they mess around because they're not stretched enough".... Clearly this is obviously the case when they've attempted zero work Hmm if it was so easy it'd be done in 5 minutes yes?

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flymetotheloon · 07/12/2021 19:16

Aussiegirl123456

Your idea of fun is bitching about vulnerable care users? Ok. I'd rather be me than you if this thread is what passes as entertainment to you.

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lesenfantsdelesperance · 07/12/2021 19:16

@flymetotheloon

Wow.

What an unprofessional post from a SW bitching about the things that clients say.

Especially given recent news events.

Ever heard of confidentiality?

Go on then, let's imagine this is horribly indiscreet.
Who's the OP talking about then? Who confidentiality is being breached by these really specific sentences that only one person could possibly have said? Hmm
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saywhatagain · 07/12/2021 19:17

@flymetotheloon how it's it unprofessional to have a little vent? Nothing identifying here as obviously that's the point as I hear it so often.

OP posts:
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flymetotheloon · 07/12/2021 19:18

If OP were a registered SW she's have this post deleted because it brings the profession into disrepute.

People don't access social care to provide mind numbing entertainment for fools on the internet.

Well done for covering your profession in glory, OP, when its reputation is already in the gutter.

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5zeds · 07/12/2021 19:18

“You really mustn’t compare them” for the first three or four years of dds life starting day two. Really? REALLY? Why? Why wouldn’t I compare my baby to her three siblings? They’re genetically closer to her than anyone else. She won’t live independently and requires 1:1 care and 15 years later it still irritates the hell out of me that I had to listen to that crap.

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lesenfantsdelesperance · 07/12/2021 19:18

I don't think @flymetotheloon knows the expression "words to the tune of"

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lesenfantsdelesperance · 07/12/2021 19:19

@flymetotheloon

If OP were a registered SW she's have this post deleted because it brings the profession into disrepute.

People don't access social care to provide mind numbing entertainment for fools on the internet.

Well done for covering your profession in glory, OP, when its reputation is already in the gutter.

How?
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lesenfantsdelesperance · 07/12/2021 19:20

How does it bring the profession into disrepute?

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ElectraBlue · 07/12/2021 19:21

I suggest you get a new job since you seem to think that being judgemental and sharing confidential information about your clients is part of your duties...

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Aussiegirl123456 · 07/12/2021 19:21

@flymetotheloon

Aussiegirl123456

Your idea of fun is bitching about vulnerable care users? Ok. I'd rather be me than you if this thread is what passes as entertainment to you.

Where did OP bitch? She didn’t say anything negative 😆 telling us clients say such and such never visit because they have their own lives is not being negative or bitchy. Neither is it outing. Had she’d said “Maureen grossman in Leicester said people never visit her but that’s because she is a terrible person and abuses everyone” then yes, that’d be breaking confidentiality and bitching. But she didn’t!!!

Where did I say bitching about vulnerable people is fun?? I said this thread is for phrases we hear often within our job roles.

You’re clearly reading stuff that isn’t even being said 😆 are you ok?
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unsure10482 · 07/12/2021 19:22

Gosh some people on this thread I think most people moan about their jobs at some point. Even jobs you love still have aspects that could be annoying. OPs job is hard and a light hearted vent that does not expose anyone is not breaching confidentiality nor does it mean she is in the wrong job.
I use to work in a customer service role. Overall I liked it but I still occasionally came home after a bad day and had a moan about the ridiculous things I was asked/spoke to like rubbish.

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wtfisthatspiderdoing · 07/12/2021 19:23

Oh get over yourself @flymetotheloon . I suppose you're a ray of sunshine every day and never need a vent about your job. OP has said nothing bitchy. The 'they've got their own lives' is the exact opposite of bitchy, op has listed that due to frustration that people say this when their kids have moved away and stopped giving a shit. Something a SW sees EVERY DAY.

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flymetotheloon · 07/12/2021 19:24

@wtfisthatspiderdoing

Oh get over yourself *@flymetotheloon* . I suppose you're a ray of sunshine every day and never need a vent about your job. OP has said nothing bitchy. The 'they've got their own lives' is the exact opposite of bitchy, op has listed that due to frustration that people say this when their kids have moved away and stopped giving a shit. Something a SW sees EVERY DAY.

I take my profession seriously and I don't repeat the things that are said to me in a confidential environment by vulnerable clients and then moan about 'groundhog day.

OP should take her issues to supervision. Just because none of you understand how these professions work doesn't mean that this is ok.

Most worrying is that OP thinks this is ok. It's not.
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saywhatagain · 07/12/2021 19:24

Jesus how is this confidential information? These are things I hear so often there's nothing whatsoever that could identify anyone.

Bringing the profession into disrepute? Do you think we are robots - must be such a great environment you work in @flymetotheloon if you're scared to even have some banter!

OP posts:
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cheeseislife8 · 07/12/2021 19:25

In another life I delivered car tyres. Every single day, some guy in a depot would see me carrying them in and go "Ooh, that looks tyring!" I had chuckle the first couple of times, but 24542 times later it was getting old

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JurgensCakeBabyJesus · 07/12/2021 19:26

I didn't do it, I got stitched up. I only pled guilty because my solicitor told me I had to, I didn't know I had a restraining order/SHPO or I didn't know that meant I couldn't call my ex partner 500 times/break into her house/call her family etc. Social workers all lie and try and take people's kids away. Put me in prison then, I don't care/if you put me in prison and xyz happens to me/my kids it's all your fault. I could go on forever

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flymetotheloon · 07/12/2021 19:26

@saywhatagain

Jesus how is this confidential information? These are things I hear so often there's nothing whatsoever that could identify anyone.

Bringing the profession into disrepute? Do you think we are robots - must be such a great environment you work in *@flymetotheloon* if you're scared to even have some banter!

This isn't 'banter' this is you bitching to thousands of strangers about the things you hear in the course of your professional role at work.

I'd hate to be one of your clients. Your boundaries are seriously out of whack.
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TheProvincialLady · 07/12/2021 19:26

OP is very clearly talking about my my great aunt Kathleen Hunter of 45 Larch Road Wolverhampton and my faith in social care is now in TATTERS

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Anonmousse · 07/12/2021 19:27

I'm a jeweller (so very much not life and death....but sometimes you'd think it was!)

"Can you finish (complicated piece of) jewellery by < insert very tight and unreasonable timescale> because they are getting married/giving birth/about to emigrate (usually to Australia)/going on holiday..?"

...or "this is super urgent. I must have by Thursday at the latest"
Deliver on Wednesday. Customer returns it for some minor alterations 2 weeks later, having not even delivered it to end customer, thus not actually urgent at all.

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Aussiegirl123456 · 07/12/2021 19:27

@saywhatagain

Jesus how is this confidential information? These are things I hear so often there's nothing whatsoever that could identify anyone.

Bringing the profession into disrepute? Do you think we are robots - must be such a great environment you work in *@flymetotheloon* if you're scared to even have some banter!

It’s not confidential information, honestly don’t worry. Neither are you bringing your profession into disrepute. X
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Tummelthecat · 07/12/2021 19:27

I didn’t realise it was kick a social worker day. You have my sympathy OP. Have a hug and I hope tomorrow is better. X

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lesenfantsdelesperance · 07/12/2021 19:27

You're embarrassing yourself now, @flymetotheloon because you haven't understood that the OP is quoting generic phrases. That's the whole point.

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