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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to be absolutely furious at friend

567 replies

JustLyra · 02/12/2021 00:37

Four of us in a friend group.

We all do nice birthday presents for each other, and have done for 10+ years.

One of the group is having a tough time and is in the middle of moving house so we decide to do a small gift and a voucher so that it’s easier with our move.
Two of us also made clear we felt a voucher was a better option atm because friend is going to have to lot a house from top to bottom rather unexpectedly the other agreed. They offered to take the money and sort the voucher and a nice card.

They then decided, without any discussion, that there was “too big a risk” our friend would buy practical and boring stuff and not treat themselves.

So they’ve bought a fucking Costa Coffee voucher. Basically so they can only buy coffees and cakes.

Aibu to think that that’s completely out of order, and a shit present

OP posts:
Original poster
JustLyra · 02/12/2021 00:38

*friend is going to have to kit out a house

OP posts:
RobertSmithsLipstick · 02/12/2021 00:44

I'm not really a present person, but that does sound a bloody boring one!

NeedsCharging · 02/12/2021 00:44

YANBU but you are if you haven't spoken to voucher buying friend.

UnsuitableHat · 02/12/2021 00:46

Don’t know if I’d be furious, but yeah not a particularly great gift. If I received it from a friend group I’d think ‘why didn’t they ask me what I wanted?’

Original poster
JustLyra · 02/12/2021 00:52

@NeedsCharging

YANBU but you are if you haven't spoken to voucher buying friend.
We have spoken.
OP posts:
GertietheGherkin · 02/12/2021 00:54

Hmmmm that's pretty dire as gifts go. It's not like Coffee and cake are scarce.
She might decide that she'll diet in the New Year as a new home, new start, new eating habits. Coffees and cakes will probably be spent on you friends too - if you have a meet-up.

It's inconsiderate to take money given by others and buy a random voucher. She should've at least asked for your opinions.

Do you plan to say anything? Or are you just going to seethe privately and let it go?

Crimsonripple · 02/12/2021 00:55

Couldn't they have gone with M&S or John Lewis?! That covers all bases! I wouldn't want a costa coffee voucher either!

NeedsCharging · 02/12/2021 00:56

And what did voucher buying friend say?

Original poster
JustLyra · 02/12/2021 00:59

@GertietheGherkin I’ve made my feelings known. The other person who chipped in is away atm, but I’ve said that I feel the voucher we agreed on (which can be used in any shop in the shopping centre where we live so could be used in a coffee shop if friend wanted, or could be used where she usually gets her nails done, or equally could be used for essentials if it’s needed) should be bought by the friend. That’s what our money was given for.

The reply was “Then what would I do with an £80 Costa voucher?”

OP posts:
IJoinedJustForThisThread · 02/12/2021 01:00

Is the Costa voucher her birthday present, or is it a present to cheer her up as she’s having a hard time?

Original poster
JustLyra · 02/12/2021 01:01

@NeedsCharging

And what did voucher buying friend say?
That they wanted to make sure that the gift was spent on treats.

And that they’re sure the other person who chipped in will agree.

Also said they’re surprised I’m so annoyed as I’m usually very calm and often the peacemaker.

The have said they wouldn’t particularly like a Costa voucher as a present, and didn’t disagree that the recipient doesn’t go to Costa any more than they do.

OP posts:
Original poster
JustLyra · 02/12/2021 01:01

@IJoinedJustForThisThread

Is the Costa voucher her birthday present, or is it a present to cheer her up as she’s having a hard time?
It’s her birthday present.
OP posts:
Changechangychange · 02/12/2021 01:01

Who wants £80 of Costa? Bloody hell, I’m in there most days and I wouldn’t want that.

Crimsonripple · 02/12/2021 01:01

Wow £80 Costa voucher!!! No thanks!

AlmostAJillSandwich · 02/12/2021 01:12

Thats an awful present, especially when the buyer themself acknowledges they wouldn't want it! Darn right she should replace, or return your share of the money so you can do another gift.

SpindlesWinterWhorl · 02/12/2021 01:13

Are you sure she didn't have an unused Costa voucher lying and around and thought she'd cash it in, in this way?

I don't mean she'd actually have an 80 quid Costa voucher in that exact amount lying about - more like, say, a 50 quid one one, and she's made it up to the 80?

It's just such a random decision.

Cloudfrost · 02/12/2021 01:13

I love Costa!
And yet I would hate a 80 Costa when the alternative would have been a voucher that could be used in multiple places!

Skiptheheartsandflowers · 02/12/2021 01:16

That is a shit present. What does the other person who paid towards the voucher say about it?

Original poster
JustLyra · 02/12/2021 01:24

@SpindlesWinterWhorl

Are you sure she didn't have an unused Costa voucher lying and around and thought she'd cash it in, in this way?

I don't mean she'd actually have an 80 quid Costa voucher in that exact amount lying about - more like, say, a 50 quid one one, and she's made it up to the 80?

It's just such a random decision.

I don’t think so. I don’t know why she’d have a large Costa voucher.

I think it’s more that she doesn’t like the fact that the voucher might not be spent on things that she considers a treat.

@Skiptheheartsandflowers They don’t know yet as they’re away. They’ll find out on Friday when they get back.

OP posts:
DaisyNGO · 02/12/2021 01:30

@SpindlesWinterWhorl

Are you sure she didn't have an unused Costa voucher lying and around and thought she'd cash it in, in this way?

I don't mean she'd actually have an 80 quid Costa voucher in that exact amount lying about - more like, say, a 50 quid one one, and she's made it up to the 80?

It's just such a random decision.

Oh that seems a possibility...or she won it.

We had similar for a work collection, someone who was really strapped as she bought a flat and the not old boiler packed up right away. She actually discreetly asked me for vouchers she could at least buy food with.

The team, knowing this, decided to buy a "posh" toiletry bag. Not posh enough to be put on ebay but she managed to get store credit at Boots, which as bit better.

Whatup · 02/12/2021 01:32

Unless she's insanely addicted to coffee and little packets of mints and panini's that's alot of voucher.

me4real · 02/12/2021 01:32

Bonkers! I hope it gets sorted out x

fabricfanatic · 02/12/2021 01:44

Annoying! Yes, that's a lot of coffee and cake! That would be the last time I'd trust her with my money.

Helpstopthepain · 02/12/2021 01:59

I wonder if she spent the whole £80 on a costa voucher ? Do they do them for that amount?

I would be cross too op.

togfee · 02/12/2021 02:01

Hahahhaha