Aibu to be absolutely furious at friend

[JustLyra]

Four of us in a friend group.

We all do nice birthday presents for each other, and have done for 10+ years.

One of the group is having a tough time and is in the middle of moving house so we decide to do a small gift and a voucher so that it’s easier with our move.
Two of us also made clear we felt a voucher was a better option atm because friend is going to have to lot a house from top to bottom rather unexpectedly the other agreed. They offered to take the money and sort the voucher and a nice card.

They then decided, without any discussion, that there was “too big a risk” our friend would buy practical and boring stuff and not treat themselves.

So they’ve bought a fucking Costa Coffee voucher. Basically so they can only buy coffees and cakes.

Aibu to think that that’s completely out of order, and a shit present

[Libertycap]

What on earth?? That's crazy! What if she topped up a card she found lying around in her house? Which you can do.
Either that or she wants to sabotage her if she plans to go on a diet

[Accidentgirlfriend]

Yadnbu . £80 of Costa ?!!! You should ask the friend to give you your share of the voucher back so You can buy your own present seeing as you didn’t agree to this . Who wants a gift card for Costa ?!

[Rno3gfr]

Honestly, I would f**king love it if my friends got me this kind of voucher but I’m addicted to caffein.

We don’t do presents, maybe that’s a better solution for next year haha

[FabricedeSauveterre]

absolutely furious is a bit strong though

[me4real]

@Rno3gfr I think the idea is that the person is struggling financially to set up in a new house and a generic voucher would mean they could also buy a few bits if needed.

The coffee in Costa is shit BTW but the pods for at home machines are surprisingly nice.

[Andylion]

The reply was “Then what would I do with an £80 Costa voucher?”

She can spend it on herself or treat friends at Costa over the next months. And don’t trust her to buy presents on your behalf again.

[Bringonsummer19]

Hmmm it is mid judged. Equally I would recognise its mid judged and move on. We can all make misjudgments, sounds like you have a nice friendship group.

[Bringonsummer19]

Should say misjudged

[blisstwins]

I bet the friend was thinking what’s the first pleasure/treat you cut when things are rough/tight? Coffee while out. I agree it sounds she misjudged rather than doing something I would be this angry about. It does sound like you have a lovely friendship group. You made your point clear. I would let it go.

[ImustLearn2Cook]

I understand why you are furious. She took it upon herself to spend everyone’s money on something different from what you had all agreed. That wasn’t her money, she doesn’t get to spend it how she likes even if it’s a gift for your friend. It is a crap birthday present and it’s not just from her so it reflects on all of you.

You have every right to get your money back off her and buy a decent gift voucher or birthday present.

[Joystir59]

I'd be really fed up to receive that- I love coffee and we have a lot of independent cafes here that serve excellent coffee- Costa is yucky stuff!

[ImustLearn2Cook]

She could have spent her share on the costa voucher and the remainder on the gift voucher you had all agreed on. Then she could be sure the friend would treat herself as well as be able to spend the other gift voucher how she wants to.

[Rangoon]

The more I see of buying tickets and presents as a group the more I see the value of people buying stuff separately. I can't imagine somebody wanting 80 pounds worth of coffee rather than something for the house which she can keep and appreciate. I would be raging too. Especially as the person buying wouldn't want the voucher herself. There is nothing that says birthday presents have to be be "treats" or short-lasting. I think I might be a bit suspicious about whether they had an existing voucher or something. How long does the voucher last?

[KaycePollard]

Costa coffee ? Treats??????

YANBU your friend has a very weird idea about what a treat is.

[TreeSmuggler]

It isn't ideal but I wouldn't be absolutely furious, more mildly annoyed. The friend meant well and the voucher is OK as a present, it isn't totally dire. It is celebratory and a gift most people would be happy enough to recieve, even if maybe they would have been happier with something else.

Furious would be if she bought something totally off, like a tray of meat for a vegan. Or something where she benefits, like MLM products she sells.

[RedRobin100]

I hate Costa coffee. That’s anything but a “treat”

Yeah I’d be ragin. That’s a shit gift.

If I was moving house I’d much rather be able to buy practical things I needed than bloody shot coffee and frozen cake.

Twats

[RedRobin100]

*shit coffee

[SoyIglesiasPiggle]

I agree - that’s a rubbish ‘gift’. i can agree that your voucher-buying friend has good intentions, but this really misses the mark of what your friend will be prioritising, and she should absolutely have run it past you before changing what had been agreed.

If I were given it, not only would I be disappointed at such a naff gift (Costa is fine - if you’re on a motorway journey and have to stop at a service station…), but I think I would also feel a bit stressed about having to spend all the £80 value before it expired, in order not to waste my friends’ money.

[Amandasummers]

That is shit. Speaking as someone who struggles with money, I would see that voucher and think "that money could have not xyz" I wouldn't even want to spend someone else's money on frivolous things. Shit move on your friend. She could probably swing for a coffee but could maybe not afford make up, I struggle to afford make up when I run out, but I might be able to find £3 for a coffee you know? Stupid.

[Frankcat19]

Costa are doing put £20 on a voucher and get an extra £5 for free at the moment so she might actually end up with a £100 voucher!
I would be cross to OP. Decisions like that should have been discussed.

[ImustLearn2Cook]

Shit move on your friend. She could probably swing for a coffee but could maybe not afford make up, I struggle to afford make up when I run out, but I might be able to find £3 for a coffee you know? Stupid.

@Amandasummers Excellent point. I sometimes struggle to afford makeup too, but could afford to buy myself a coffee when out.

Having a voucher where I could splash out on some nice makeup or anything at all that I wanted (even something boring and practical that I might not otherwise afford) would be more of a treat then going out for coffee.

[leafygarden42]

Costa are doing put £20 on a voucher and get an extra £5 for free at the moment so she might actually end up with a £100 voucher!

Sounds like a bargain - I might just have to go out and get an £80 Costa voucher.

[Juniper68]

Why can't away friend be contacted? Are they somewhere without signal? Or do you just not want to hassle them on their break?

[Greenrubber]

If she has the receipt or proof of purchase she can get a refund on the card your not stuck with it

What a shit gift

[Muchmorethan]

@leafygarden42

Costa are doing put £20 on a voucher and get an extra £5 for free at the moment so she might actually end up with a £100 voucher!

Sounds like a bargain - I might just have to go out and get an £80 Costa voucher.

Or she might still end up with £80 and the friend has pocketed the rest.

Ultimately it wasn't her decision to make as she was spending other people's money.

I feel really sorry for birthday friend who is probably looking forward to one nice gift.... and gets crappy Costa