Aibu to be absolutely furious at friend

[JustLyra]

Four of us in a friend group.

We all do nice birthday presents for each other, and have done for 10+ years.

One of the group is having a tough time and is in the middle of moving house so we decide to do a small gift and a voucher so that it’s easier with our move.
Two of us also made clear we felt a voucher was a better option atm because friend is going to have to lot a house from top to bottom rather unexpectedly the other agreed. They offered to take the money and sort the voucher and a nice card.

They then decided, without any discussion, that there was “too big a risk” our friend would buy practical and boring stuff and not treat themselves.

So they’ve bought a fucking Costa Coffee voucher. Basically so they can only buy coffees and cakes.

Aibu to think that that’s completely out of order, and a shit present

[3luckystars]

Don’t even mention it. Honestly forget about it now and let her make her own decisions about it. You know what happened so just enjoy your day and have a great catch up!

[CoffeeWithMyOxygen]

The voucher buyer told her. It was a bid for a "it wasn't as bad as they're making out" way of doing it.

Ah. And I’m guessing that didn’t go the way the thief friend thought it would? I’m so sorry, she’s caused so much upset with a thoughtless attempt to be greedy.

[JustLyra]

@backtolifebacktoreality The voucher buyer told her. It was a bid for a "it wasn't as bad as they're making out" way of doing it.

Basically everyone is extremely upset and sad and it's shit.

Birthday friend and I are going out tomorrow and will be consuming lots of wine!

[backtolifebacktoreality]

How are you going to explain to your friend (whose birthday it is) why you have fallen out with the friend who "bought" the vouchers"?

[MinnieGirl]

@JustLyra

I do think the OP has enjoyed the drama and gotten bogged down in being "right" over resolution

Enjoyed the drama?

I had three friends that I trusted and loved. One of them has stolen money from me and treated another of our friends abominably.

There’s nothing in any of this that has been remotely fucking enjoyable.

I would be absolutely heartbroken.

Betrayal is always painful, but when it comes from a close friend who, in your own words, You loved and trusted, it’s devastating.

I hope you and your other two friends can move past it and continue with your close friendship.

[FastFood]

Haha that's the shittiest gift ever, sorry for your friend.
I'd be rather mad too.

[DogsandCatsB4u]

Ish present
Always MnS or John Lewis vouchers she can even buy coffee and cake with those

[PunishmentSnart]

It doesn't seem as you’ve enjoyed the drama at all. You very early on noticed the voucher would be of no use to your friend in need and called other ‘friend’ out on it but only once you had spoken to the other friend in the group. Seems to me you are rational and and thoughtful and birthday friend will appreciate the nee voucher and gift (and your continued friendship) very much

[JustLyra]

I do think the OP has enjoyed the drama and gotten bogged down in being "right" over resolution

Enjoyed the drama?

I had three friends that I trusted and loved. One of them has stolen money from me and treated another of our friends abominably.

There’s nothing in any of this that has been remotely fucking enjoyable.

[Madamum18]

[quote 50ShadesOfCatholic]@PlanktonsComputerWife

I think you misunderstood @Madamum18 post. She was highlighting the madness of a previous post.

Some of us think this thread is vicious.[/quote]
Yes thankyou Plankton I did misunderstand. I agree about the viciousness. If only we were all perfect and never made a mistake, eh!!

[Madamum18]

@Madamum18

She'll have to live with what she's done for the rest of her life.

The comment She'll have to live with what she's done for the rest of her life in my earlier post was a quote from someone else, I forggot to highlight it as a quote.
My "confused" face was because I quite simply cant understand the over stated drama on this thread about a rather silly and selfish mistake that someone made, was found out about and apologised for!!! And I agree with those commenting on the viciousness of some posts on this thread!!

[50ShadesOfCatholic]

@billy1966

I don't think the OP has been remotely vicious.

I think she is stunned at what occurred, and very sad.

I think it IS a very sad thread.

To loose a frienship group through pulling a fast one for £50 is the most ridiculous thing ever.

A stunning lack of judgement.

Nor did I say the OP has been vicious, I said the thread had been. So much blood lust out there.

I do think the OP has enjoyed the drama and gotten bogged down in being "right" over resolution.

[billy1966]

I don't think the OP has been remotely vicious.

I think she is stunned at what occurred, and very sad.

I think it IS a very sad thread.

To loose a frienship group through pulling a fast one for £50 is the most ridiculous thing ever.

A stunning lack of judgement.

[Flowers500]

@JustLyra

I appreciate all the different views. I don’t think I’ve been remotely vicious, but each to their own.

Sadly a long friendship is completely ruined. Not the actual action, although I’ll admit I would have struggled to forgive as to me she stole from all three of us, but she’s tried to justify it now in a way that’s just unforgivable to me.

It’s really upsetting as I don’t have a large friends ground and the four of us met when times were tough for all of us. It’s really sad that this has happened when one of us is in the worst possible position. Life sucks sometimes, but people survive much worse so we’ll all bounce through it somehow.

I'm so sorry, that's awful. How did she try to justify this to you? I genuinely can't imagine what she could come up with

[JustLyra]

Group not ground

[JustLyra]

I appreciate all the different views. I don’t think I’ve been remotely vicious, but each to their own.

Sadly a long friendship is completely ruined. Not the actual action, although I’ll admit I would have struggled to forgive as to me she stole from all three of us, but she’s tried to justify it now in a way that’s just unforgivable to me.

It’s really upsetting as I don’t have a large friends ground and the four of us met when times were tough for all of us. It’s really sad that this has happened when one of us is in the worst possible position. Life sucks sometimes, but people survive much worse so we’ll all bounce through it somehow.

[50ShadesOfCatholic]

@PlanktonsComputerWife

I think you misunderstood @Madamum18 post. She was highlighting the madness of a previous post.

Some of us think this thread is vicious.

[billy1966]

@Whatdirection, I agree this took thought.

But when challenged about its unsuitability she replied with.....

The reply was “Then what would I do with an £80 Costa voucher?”

.....she had received it as a prize, such a dishonest reply under the circumstances.

[PlanktonsComputerWife]

Madamum

She'll have to live with what she's done for the rest of her life.

Nah. If her own (lack of) ethics allowed her to do it in the first place, she'll never grasp how dishonest what she did was (along with some posters here).

@whatdirection

Aww, no, I think that was a bit off of her, especially if she realised you were spending £££ on presents. A lot of people would have just given you the unwanted free stuff as and when, rather than as a fancy present. But she probably had no money left for presents after giving so much to snakeoil merchants make-up companies.😂

[xILikeJamx]

[quote JustLyra]@GertietheGherkin I’ve made my feelings known. The other person who chipped in is away atm, but I’ve said that I feel the voucher we agreed on (which can be used in any shop in the shopping centre where we live so could be used in a coffee shop if friend wanted, or could be used where she usually gets her nails done, or equally could be used for essentials if it’s needed) should be bought by the friend. That’s what our money was given for.

The reply was “Then what would I do with an £80 Costa voucher?”[/quote]
Holy crap! £80???!! Eighty Pounds?! Eight, Zero?


Sometimes I wonder why I still come on this site, but then an absolute gem like that comes along!

[Whatdirection]

I am trying to think what mental gymnastics she must have done in her head to justify doing what she did.

Because some where along the line she did square it with herself that this was an ok thing to do.

Because it actually took a bit of thought and planning to try to pull this one off. And even when you raised concerns she still didn’t change her course.

I am not opposed in theory to the idea of regifting. As seen on this thread some posters would have been happy with a Costa gift card.

But the duplicity of taking your money and trying to brazen it out until she was rumbled is not just plain wrong but very very odd and strange behaviour.

It reminded me of a colleague l worked with, that spent a fortune on expensive cosmetics. Every Christmas/birthday l received a luxury toiletry bag with various small samples in it. Initially l was a bit overawed by how much she had spent on me. So l felt l had to reciprocate by spending more money on her than l wanted.

However l realized after a few years, she was simply giving me the free gifts that she had accumulated.

It made me feel a bit crap actually. But l guess some people would see nothing wrong in this.

[50ShadesOfCatholic]

@Madamum18

She'll have to live with what she's done for the rest of her life.

IKR. Why stop there? Why not execute her in the village square? Honestly, the bloodthirsty posts on here are sick.

[Madamum18]

She'll have to live with what she's done for the rest of her life.

[Cuck00soup]

[BertramLacey]

So cheeky fucker friend knew an £80 Costa voucher was a crap present then, or account of her not wanting the £50 one she won in the raffle.

It's an old joke really: 1st prize in the raffle, a £50 Costa voucher. 2nd prize in the raffle, an £80 Costa voucher.