Aibu to be absolutely furious at friend

[JustLyra]

Four of us in a friend group.

We all do nice birthday presents for each other, and have done for 10+ years.

One of the group is having a tough time and is in the middle of moving house so we decide to do a small gift and a voucher so that it’s easier with our move.
Two of us also made clear we felt a voucher was a better option atm because friend is going to have to lot a house from top to bottom rather unexpectedly the other agreed. They offered to take the money and sort the voucher and a nice card.

They then decided, without any discussion, that there was “too big a risk” our friend would buy practical and boring stuff and not treat themselves.

So they’ve bought a fucking Costa Coffee voucher. Basically so they can only buy coffees and cakes.

Aibu to think that that’s completely out of order, and a shit present

[StoneofDestiny]

That is awful OP. Basically she's unloaded an unwanted gift on your friend using your money!
I'd insist she reverses what she did and at least change the £50 Costa voucher into a more useful voucher.

I love coffee - but wouldn't want an £80 Costa voucher.

[Wexone]

@Toohardtofindaproperusername read the rest of the thread. especially ops updates. it gets better. shocking behavior

[WeAreTheHeroes]

@Madamum18 - you could say the same about very many threads on MN. The OP posted to get different perspectives. She was correct it was a crap non-gift and furthermore one of her friends is a thief. I'm sure she's capable of deciding what to do from here.

[Madamum18]

I'm sure she's capable of deciding what to do from here.

Exactly!

[TractorAndHeadphones]

Awful! The MN hive mind was right (for once).
The worst part is... if you cool off her... how will you explain to birthday friend?
Sad really

[ClumpyMascara]

What an AWFUL present 😂

and really shitty of her to just make the decision without you when you all put money IMO

[Skiptheheartsandflowers]

That's actually rather sad that the worst turned Out to be true of a long standing friend. You all lose out now . How very foolish of her.

[CharlotteGoldenblattYork]

OMG OP, I've just read your recent updates. She sounds very underhand and sneaky!

[WhatTimeIsItMrGinola]

How sad that rather than thinking "I will give the £50 voucher I won (and dont want) as an EXTRA present so Birthday Girl gets another treat", she actually was pretending she had bought it

What a low thing to do.

[LizzieW1969]

I’m very sorry that it’s turned out that she was being so sneaky. You must feel very disappointed in someone who you clearly thought was a genuine friend. Only you know whether there’s any way back for her as a friend.

[LizzieW1969]

That should say, as to whether there’s any way back for this friend, that’s for you (and your other two friends) to decide.

[1hamwich4]

What a shitty thing to do. Sorry about that OP.

What gets me about vouchers as presents is the assumption that the only thing stopping me from treating myself is the money.

I’d probably quite enjoy the odd posh coffee and cake with a book as a present but Nero might as well be on the moon for all the opportunity I have to go there for an hour of peace.

I have kids. Who need watching. Which means weekends are full of that. Not spaffing away time with a latte.

If you really want to treat me- take them off my hands for a morning. Preferably sometime where I can’t just roll my sleeves up and get on with the ironing.

[TolkiensFallow]

That’s why she wouldn’t sell it on to your mother!

[Cheerbear24]

Oh no, how sly. I suspected it was the £5 for £20 deal but this is far worse

[Figgygal]

What a shitty thing to do
What was she thinking?

[user1471462634]

Silly, silly woman, so wrong on many levels. She'll have to live with what she's done for the rest of her life. Very calculated. Also, you mention get togethers with the kids, how will she explain to her kids that they are no longer meeting up with the other kids? Because I think it will be very difficult to remain friends.

[Cuck00soup]

So cheeky fucker friend knew an £80 Costa voucher was a crap present then, or account of her not wanting the £50 one she won in the raffle.

[BertramLacey]

So cheeky fucker friend knew an £80 Costa voucher was a crap present then, or account of her not wanting the £50 one she won in the raffle.

It's an old joke really: 1st prize in the raffle, a £50 Costa voucher. 2nd prize in the raffle, an £80 Costa voucher.

[Cuck00soup]

[Madamum18]

She'll have to live with what she's done for the rest of her life.

[50ShadesOfCatholic]

@Madamum18

She'll have to live with what she's done for the rest of her life.

IKR. Why stop there? Why not execute her in the village square? Honestly, the bloodthirsty posts on here are sick.

[Whatdirection]

I am trying to think what mental gymnastics she must have done in her head to justify doing what she did.

Because some where along the line she did square it with herself that this was an ok thing to do.

Because it actually took a bit of thought and planning to try to pull this one off. And even when you raised concerns she still didn’t change her course.

I am not opposed in theory to the idea of regifting. As seen on this thread some posters would have been happy with a Costa gift card.

But the duplicity of taking your money and trying to brazen it out until she was rumbled is not just plain wrong but very very odd and strange behaviour.

It reminded me of a colleague l worked with, that spent a fortune on expensive cosmetics. Every Christmas/birthday l received a luxury toiletry bag with various small samples in it. Initially l was a bit overawed by how much she had spent on me. So l felt l had to reciprocate by spending more money on her than l wanted.

However l realized after a few years, she was simply giving me the free gifts that she had accumulated.

It made me feel a bit crap actually. But l guess some people would see nothing wrong in this.

[xILikeJamx]

[quote JustLyra]@GertietheGherkin I’ve made my feelings known. The other person who chipped in is away atm, but I’ve said that I feel the voucher we agreed on (which can be used in any shop in the shopping centre where we live so could be used in a coffee shop if friend wanted, or could be used where she usually gets her nails done, or equally could be used for essentials if it’s needed) should be bought by the friend. That’s what our money was given for.

The reply was “Then what would I do with an £80 Costa voucher?”[/quote]
Holy crap! £80???!! Eighty Pounds?! Eight, Zero?


Sometimes I wonder why I still come on this site, but then an absolute gem like that comes along!

[PlanktonsComputerWife]

Madamum

She'll have to live with what she's done for the rest of her life.

Nah. If her own (lack of) ethics allowed her to do it in the first place, she'll never grasp how dishonest what she did was (along with some posters here).

@whatdirection

Aww, no, I think that was a bit off of her, especially if she realised you were spending £££ on presents. A lot of people would have just given you the unwanted free stuff as and when, rather than as a fancy present. But she probably had no money left for presents after giving so much to snakeoil merchants make-up companies.😂

[billy1966]

@Whatdirection, I agree this took thought.

But when challenged about its unsuitability she replied with.....

The reply was “Then what would I do with an £80 Costa voucher?”

.....she had received it as a prize, such a dishonest reply under the circumstances.