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To think their name choice is ‘off’
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Isitweirdorisitjustme · 29/11/2021 14:54

I feel pretty miffed about something and can’t work out whether I’m being unreasonable or not - please give it to me straight!

SIL (my brother’s wife) was pregnant at the same time as me. I was six weeks ahead with our third baby (already have two boys and knew I was expecting a girl this time around) She was pregnant with their second (they chose to find out sex at birth)

Let’s say we chose Molly. Six weeks later they announced the arrival of their daughter and her name was Polly. Apparently they realised it was similar to Molly but thought this was ‘cute.’

For context, I don’t live in the same country as my brother. COVID aside, we normally see each other a few times a year and we are a small family - he is my only sibling. His eldest child is also a boy so the two recent babies are the only girls (and it’s likely to stay that way, don’t think either of us will have any more)

Is it just me or is it fucking weird that in our small family, we now have two girls, just six weeks apart with incredibly similar names? I feel like they are already set up for a lifetime of comparison and this just makes it even worse.

My mum is already getting confused and mixing their names up. She also keeps buying two sets of any gifts she gets for them so I keep seeing photos of Polly dressed identically to Molly?

Obviously I can never say anything to my brother but AIBU to be quietly quite pissed off about this? Polly has no significance for them beyond thinking it’s a nice name - I just can’t imagine me announcing Molly and them not thinking ‘oh shit that sounds like Polly, best think of something else’

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 29/11/2021 14:55

I don’t think rhyming is an issue, same name or same shortening then yes, but otherwise yabu

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Yummypumpkin · 29/11/2021 14:56

Everyone can call their own child what they want.

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TokyoSushi · 29/11/2021 14:56

I think it's fine, especially if they don't even live in the same country.

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Appiandterri · 29/11/2021 14:56

Polly has no significance for them beyond thinking it’s a nice name

Isn’t that why most people choose their DC’s names?

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GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 29/11/2021 14:56

They can obvious call their child what they want

It is a bit odd though as Molly and Polly are both old fashioned diminutives of Mary(albeit longer)

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ShirleyPhallus · 29/11/2021 14:57

I think YABU, you said yourself he doesn’t live in the same country.

I can’t see how your mum is confused mind!

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Allsorts1 · 29/11/2021 14:58

YABU I’m afraid. Also it is kind of cute to have cousins “Polly” & “Molly”! This is a non issue. Embrace the matching cuteness, it won’t be forever! And if they’re both the only girls in their family then they might personally appreciate the special link to their cousin as they grow up.

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Isitweirdorisitjustme · 29/11/2021 14:59

@Appiandterri

Polly has no significance for them beyond thinking it’s a nice name

Isn’t that why most people choose their DC’s names?

Well yes, but what I meant by that is that I could understand it more if Polly was say, her grandmother’s name and they had some kind of attachment to it.
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Aquamarine1029 · 29/11/2021 14:59

I fail to see what the issue is. You're making up a problem when there isn't one. Your mother getting confused is a whole other concern.

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MeltedButter · 29/11/2021 14:59

I feel like they are already set up for a lifetime of comparison and this just makes it even worse.

You are spiralling there.

Who's going to be comparing them because of similar names?

Have you got some other issues with SIL because this reaction doesn't seem relative to what's going on now.

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Pontypandytaxpayer · 29/11/2021 15:00

She also keeps buying two sets of any gifts she gets for them so I keep seeing photos of Polly dressed identically to Molly?

This doesn't have anything to do with their names though?

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idontlikealdi · 29/11/2021 15:01

You're extrapolating quite a lot there, they don't even live in the same country. I've got a LOT of first cousins, some of them even have the same name. Has never caused any problems!

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Isitweirdorisitjustme · 29/11/2021 15:01

@Yummypumpkin

Everyone can call their own child what they want.

Well yeah, I don’t think I said they couldn’t. But I did say that I couldn’t imagine my sibling chosing a name so similar to one that I had in mind and not thinking ‘I’d like something different’.

But I also said I’m prepared to be told IABU and it seems I am! Grin
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SheWoreYellow · 29/11/2021 15:02

The names don’t have anything to do with comparisons and matching outfits.

We have a cousin who is a few weeks apart from my youngest. The comparisons stopped once all the major milestones have been met (rolling over, walking etc).

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Isitweirdorisitjustme · 29/11/2021 15:02

@Pontypandytaxpayer

She also keeps buying two sets of any gifts she gets for them so I keep seeing photos of Polly dressed identically to Molly?

This doesn't have anything to do with their names though?

No, but I think the name similarity exacerbates it.
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jinglealltheway55 · 29/11/2021 15:02

Do the names just rhyme or is there another similarity? For example could they be shortened to the same thing?

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GoodbyePorpoiseSpit · 29/11/2021 15:02

Your feelings are of course real and valid but you’re being completely unreasonable.
Just enjoy them as a pair of cousins, maybe they’ll be close! Could be a really good and nice thing.

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Simonjt · 29/11/2021 15:03

You think Polly being called Katie for example would prevent family buying her the same gifts as Molly?!

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Isitweirdorisitjustme · 29/11/2021 15:03

@idontlikealdi

You're extrapolating quite a lot there, they don't even live in the same country. I've got a LOT of first cousins, some of them even have the same name. Has never caused any problems!

But that’s the opposite of my situation - we aren’t a large family. We are a very small one. And the only two girls of that generation have very similar names. But again, I said I was prepared to be told IABU so seems I need to get over it! Grin
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SickAndTiredAgain · 29/11/2021 15:03

My mum is already getting confused and mixing their names up. She also keeps buying two sets of any gifts she gets for them so I keep seeing photos of Polly dressed identically to Molly?

The outfit thing would probably have happened regardless of name.

And the name thing wouldn’t bother me at all.

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peboh · 29/11/2021 15:03

Yabu. It's a name, for their child. They can choose whatever they want.

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Kuachui · 29/11/2021 15:04

i think yabu. wouldn't bother me. it isn't the same name it just ryhmes just behappy yours is the eldest so doesn't look like youve copied

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RedWingBoots · 29/11/2021 15:04

It doesn't matter

I have two nieces in the same city and same age with exactly the same first name who played with each other as children.

They have completely different characters.

I have three other nieces with about 2 years between them with the similar names who grew up within 50 miles of each other and played with each other as children.

They have completely different characters.

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Isitweirdorisitjustme · 29/11/2021 15:05

@jinglealltheway55

Do the names just rhyme or is there another similarity? For example could they be shortened to the same thing?

They could be abbreviated to the same thing but realistically I don’t think they ever would, so think I would be reaching a bit to worry about that! There are also some huge similarities in the middle names that we both chose, but again I realise that dwelling on that would be massively U!
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Gatredge · 29/11/2021 15:05

YABU, total non issue. Congratulations on your daughter and niece - how lovely for your children to have cousins so close in age. You are all very lucky.

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