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To think their name choice is ‘off’
357

Isitweirdorisitjustme · 29/11/2021 14:54

I feel pretty miffed about something and can’t work out whether I’m being unreasonable or not - please give it to me straight!

SIL (my brother’s wife) was pregnant at the same time as me. I was six weeks ahead with our third baby (already have two boys and knew I was expecting a girl this time around) She was pregnant with their second (they chose to find out sex at birth)

Let’s say we chose Molly. Six weeks later they announced the arrival of their daughter and her name was Polly. Apparently they realised it was similar to Molly but thought this was ‘cute.’

For context, I don’t live in the same country as my brother. COVID aside, we normally see each other a few times a year and we are a small family - he is my only sibling. His eldest child is also a boy so the two recent babies are the only girls (and it’s likely to stay that way, don’t think either of us will have any more)

Is it just me or is it fucking weird that in our small family, we now have two girls, just six weeks apart with incredibly similar names? I feel like they are already set up for a lifetime of comparison and this just makes it even worse.

My mum is already getting confused and mixing their names up. She also keeps buying two sets of any gifts she gets for them so I keep seeing photos of Polly dressed identically to Molly?

Obviously I can never say anything to my brother but AIBU to be quietly quite pissed off about this? Polly has no significance for them beyond thinking it’s a nice name - I just can’t imagine me announcing Molly and them not thinking ‘oh shit that sounds like Polly, best think of something else’

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

2bazookas · 29/11/2021 15:21

Its very usual in Scotland for children in an extended family to even have the SAME name. ( called after some loved grandparent). I know a family where the youngest child, his father and grandfather all have the exact same name and live in the same household.

If you walk round old graveyards you'll see countless examples . Its a form of honour and respect.

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WeatherwaxOn · 29/11/2021 15:22

Probably not helpful but researching my family tree. A few generations ago there were siblings - let's call them John, Joseph, Mary and James. Their parents were John and Mary. All married and had families. All the children were John, Joseph, Mary and James. Plus Edward, Archibald and Caroline. Guess what names their children had?
They also lived within 3 miles of each other all their lives.

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sweeneytoddsrazor · 29/11/2021 15:22

At the moment they are getting the same things because they are babies. As they grow they may sometimes get the same outfit depending on likes but things will be more tailored to their personality.

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Strawberryjampot · 29/11/2021 15:23

I think you’ll get used to this. My niece is similar in age to my DD and has a very similar name. Her name is also similar to mine in a slightly different way. Is incidentally the same name as my MIL but she’s no relation to them. My DB did acknowledge the similarities but they wanted a name that worked well in the UK and also the country his DP is from

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GetTheFlockOutOfHere · 29/11/2021 15:23

YABU. I couldn't bring myself to care tbh. Also, as has been said on here MANY TIMES, never NEVER tell people what you intend to call your baby!

WHY do people do this, and then cry off and whinge that someone has copied their baby name?

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Freddiefox · 29/11/2021 15:24

My mum is already getting confused and mixing their names up. She also keeps buying two sets of any gifts she gets for them so I keep seeing photos of Polly dressed identically to Molly?

It’s not really your brother and sil fault that your mum get the names mixed up. Why don’t you ask her not to buy identical gifts.

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Nimello · 29/11/2021 15:25

@Isitweirdorisitjustme

Thank you to those who has been kind yet made me realise that IABU! I will focus on the fact that I have a lovely daughter and a lovely niece and the names are irrelevant!

That sounds like the best idea by far, OP. Enjoy your daughter and niece!
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AliasGrape · 29/11/2021 15:28

My only cousin on my dads side is called a longer variant of my name.

Say for example my name is Ella and her name is Eleanor. Thinking about it now it was kind of an odd choice but it’s honestly caused zero issues in either of our lives.

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GetTheFlockOutOfHere · 29/11/2021 15:30

@2bazookas

Its very usual in Scotland for children in an extended family to even have the SAME name. ( called after some loved grandparent). I know a family where the youngest child, his father and grandfather all have the exact same name and live in the same household.

If you walk round old graveyards you'll see countless examples . Its a form of honour and respect.

It's has been very usual in a lot of families in the past, and not just in Scotland; in many more countries too.....

When it comes to names, me and DH have multiples in our families.... It's not unusual in many families to have 2 or 3 Davids, Pauls, Patricks, Stevens, Peters Alans, Daniels, Susans, Traceys, Lindas, Karens, Sharons etc etc....

DH even has a first cousin with the same Christian name/forename as him. Even though his cousin is 12 years younger.
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ancientgran · 29/11/2021 15:31

Two of my fathers siblings had babies, few months apart in age but same year, gave them the same name. No one thought anything of it. There were in different countries, had different surnames.

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appleturnovers · 29/11/2021 15:32

My mum has two first cousins called Dave on the same side and two called John, also on the same side. There were also a Kathryn and a Kathleen, both shortened to Kathy.

Honestly, I wouldn't worry about it.

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MirandaBlu · 29/11/2021 15:32

I have cousins (both cousins to me and to each other) called Daisy and Maisie. They are both Margaret on their birth certificates, after our grandmother. Growing up - they were in different countries from each other - it was a cute thing that they liked and the family indulged. As adults, Daisy is still Daisy but Maisie is Margaret professionally and May in her personal life. Frankly I am happy I just got Margaret as a middle name - but I don't think Daisy and Maisie suffered much from the way they were named; in fact it probably was a comfort to them as children/teenagers.

I would not do rhymey names intentionally - but I don't think it's way out there for some naive person to legitimately think they are "cute". More importantly (since if I read this right the deal is done, babies both born and named) I'm not sure it will hurt your daughter to have one.

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Hankunamatata · 29/11/2021 15:32

You dont even live in same country. Total none issue. Of course your mum will buy girls same outfits, she wants to treat both the same and they are the same age

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Subbaxeo · 29/11/2021 15:33

I would be more worried about my mother getting confused to be honest.

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whosaidtha · 29/11/2021 15:33

Really want to know the names. Ava and Eva not a problem Emilia and Amelia slightly more problematic.

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Wallywobbles · 29/11/2021 15:33

In our family the kids are something like this: Elly, Lily, Lila, Isla, Islan etc etc..

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DrSbaitso · 29/11/2021 15:35

I feel like they are already set up for a lifetime of comparison

Very unlikely, especially as they live in different countries. If it happens in spite of that, it won't be their names causing the issue.

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miltonj · 29/11/2021 15:37

If I'd already chosen the name there would be no way I'd change it, no matter what someone in my family had chosen.

Your mum would have most likely bought them the same outfits regardless of their names. She'll just be picking two out of the things she likes.

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Prokupatuscrakedatus · 29/11/2021 15:37

If you mother is really getting confused, I'd be more worried about her.

Unless it is the ordinary 'name confusion' a lot of people have: DM occasionally run through all her cousins', their DC's and my siblings' until she arrived at my name.

And generations ago it was the custom to 'not let the name of an ancestor get lost'. So when a child died the next child got the same name to prevent said name loss.

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GatoradeMeBitch · 29/11/2021 15:38

Drop it. Non issue.

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MindyStClaire · 29/11/2021 15:39

I'm going to go against the grain here and say it would irritate me OP. I have a very small family and steered clear of names similar to my cousin's children, even though we live at a distance and they likely won't meet.

Not irritate enough to do or say anything, but a small part of me would be thinking "FFS, Molly and Polly?! Really?!" Grin

Having said that, everyone else is right and it won't actually matter. I grew up with a cousin the same age and it was the loveliest thing, we were best friends until she passed away in her 20s. We actually share a middle name which I passed on to my DD. Hopefully your DDs will have a similarly lovely relationship and enjoy the closeness of their names.

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Helpimfalling · 29/11/2021 15:39

But if it was my niece i wouldn't mind seeing her in same clothes as my daughter

She's your niece I'd think it was cute.

As for names also cute but I haven't been in that situation before and possibly i could find it annoying too.

My kids have rhyMing names.... they hate it and it confuses everyone...for some reason I never took it in to consideration.

But you don't even live near your brother so shouldn't be too much of an issue.

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azimuth299 · 29/11/2021 15:39

I think, gently, that YABU. You and your brother obviously have similar tastes, but a pair of cousins (especially ones living in different countries) having similar names doesn't really raise any eyebrows.

I can understand about the outfit thing too - if your mum sees a gorgeous little outfit it would be sad if she had to choose which new granddaughter to give it to. She wants to spoil both of them! I bet the comparisons will stop in time.

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sweeneytoddsrazor · 29/11/2021 15:40

Even when the names are not similar people (parents as well as gps) occasionally get the name wrong, sometimes even calling a dgd by the name of a dgs. More children involved more common it is. I have done it myself with my own children it really doesn't mean anything concerning.

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Thatsplentyjack · 29/11/2021 15:41

Who cares. People used to be names after family embers all the time. Its not a big deal. I have 3 cousins with the same name on one side of the family.

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