To think she ought to have let me have it?

[AngeloMysterioso]

On my way home from town yesterday I popped into a charity shop for a browse and they had a lovely baby changing bag. I wanted to buy it but didn’t have the arm space for any more stuff and the woman who ran the shop said they couldn’t keep it for me, so I came back into town this morning to get it.
The charity shop still has a utterly daft one way system so it’s really cramped and today I had the pram. Ahead of me was a woman whose Mum (I presume) was standing next to the bags with a pram while she looked at other stuff. In front of them was someone in a wheelchair so I stood and waited until they could move so I could pick the bag up.
The woman then walks back over to her Mum, spots the bag and picks it up. I said “Oh, I was going to get that, I’ve come back into town for it.”

Now in her position, what I’d have done was said on, here you go, and handed it over. However she just shrugged and said “oh, sorry.” And took it.

AIBU to think that’s a dick move and she should have let me have it?

But she wanted it too, and got to it first. So what she did was fine.

Sorry, she got there first

You snooze you lose. That’s life.

Why was it a dick move? The shop hadn't reserved it for you. Did you offer to pay and them keep it to one side until this morning? The other woman owed you nothing.

Why on earth were you more entitled than she was? She got it first.

I think that's just life, really. If I wanted it so much I was going to go back into town the next day to get it, I'd just have found a way to manage it the day before!

@Andrewthecharminbumwiper

Why was it a dick move? The shop hadn't reserved it for you. Did you offer to pay and them keep it to one side until this morning? The other woman owed you nothing.

I did, but they said they’ve got too much stuff as it is so they couldn’t.

If her mum hadn’t been stood there blocking the only route through the shop I’d have got to it first.

Sorry it wasn't yours, she got there first, wanted it and got it.

She was there first unfortunately. I don't understand how you didn't have the arm space for a bag? It's a bag, put your other stuff in it and put it on? Not that it matters now.

Its not a dick move to buy something if she was there first.

You should have got it when you saw it and stuck it in another bag or whatever.

Not a dick move
It was unfortunate someone got to it before you, whatever the circumstance
Comes across as you being entitled
Yabu

Um no, it wasn’t a dick move, she got there first, is this a reverse? If anything it was a bit of a dick move to tell someone else you wanted something they’d just picked up first.

Oooh this thread is going to cause fireworks!!!

yaBVU

See, you should have said 'excuse me I just need to reach that bag and I'll be out of your way'.

You lost out because you didn't speak up. Use your voice next time, you have one for a reason. Can't expect people to be nice, no one is these days.

I'm sure if you had paid for it yesterday they would have put it under the counter for you.
And the one way system is better suited to prams and wheelchairs etc otherwise (like in my charity shop) there's often gridlock!

Should have bought it when you first saw it
Yabu

I wouldn’t have given you it either, if I picked it up first!

@CoronaPeroni

I'm sure if you had paid for it yesterday they would have put it under the counter for you. And the one way system is better suited to prams and wheelchairs etc otherwise (like in my charity shop) there's often gridlock!

They wouldn’t. I asked. They said they don’t have the space to hold stuff for people.

Shops work on a first come, first serve basis. Sometimes that means you miss out but that's life!

The shop might have held it if had you paid yesterday and told them you'd be back but they're not obliged to.

As a side note surely buying a bag would've meant you could put other items inside it freeing up "arm space"?!

No. I wouldn’t have handed over the bag if I was her. She got there first and you aren’t any more entitled to it.

Agree you could have politely asked them to move so you could have grabbed it. Or you could have found a way to manage it when you first saw it. The time to speak up was not when someone else had already picked it up to buy it, it was before.

She certainly had no obligation to let you have it 😂

She might also have seen it before and come back for it! I can understand you feeling cross that you missed it, but I think YABU to expect her to have given it to you. Would you have done the same if the roles were reversed, I wonder?

Surely you could have put some of the stuff you already had in your new bag??

It's as simple as, she got there first.
It wasn't specifically held for you, it was on public sale. Excuse someone for being in a wheelchair and blocking you