Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she ought to have let me have it?

835 replies

AngeloMysterioso · 11/10/2021 11:21

On my way home from town yesterday I popped into a charity shop for a browse and they had a lovely baby changing bag. I wanted to buy it but didn’t have the arm space for any more stuff and the woman who ran the shop said they couldn’t keep it for me, so I came back into town this morning to get it.
The charity shop still has a utterly daft one way system so it’s really cramped and today I had the pram. Ahead of me was a woman whose Mum (I presume) was standing next to the bags with a pram while she looked at other stuff. In front of them was someone in a wheelchair so I stood and waited until they could move so I could pick the bag up.
The woman then walks back over to her Mum, spots the bag and picks it up. I said “Oh, I was going to get that, I’ve come back into town for it.”

Now in her position, what I’d have done was said on, here you go, and handed it over. However she just shrugged and said “oh, sorry.” And took it.

AIBU to think that’s a dick move and she should have let me have it?

OP posts:
AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 11/10/2021 12:00

Honestly, yes. I’m not a dick nice like that

I don’t believe that. You think you’re entitled to a bag that someone else got to first and bought.
There’s no way you’re the type of person who would meekly hand over something you wanted and got to first.

Offmyfence · 11/10/2021 12:01

@AngeloMysterioso

Maybe she saw it yesterday, and had come back for it?

She went “ooh that’s a nice bag” and picked it up. Not indicative of someone who already knew it was there.

Makes no difference, it was for sale, the other person didn't have too much to carry it or was able to use it as a bag and therefore she bought it.

A dick move was not buying the bag the previous day and not using it as a bag to carry your other stuff.

slashlover · 11/10/2021 12:02

@AngeloMysterioso

Maybe she saw it yesterday, and had come back for it?

She went “ooh that’s a nice bag” and picked it up. Not indicative of someone who already knew it was there.

Again, what if you picked it up and she said she had seen it on Saturday?
SylvanasWindrunner · 11/10/2021 12:02

What if it had come to her in a dream?

MrsRobbieHart · 11/10/2021 12:02

This bag wasn’t meant for you OP. It has escaped your grasp twice now. You must learn to read the signs of the universe. Perhaps this bag is cursed and you would be forever dealing with poonami’s every time you were out in public. Find another bag. Your perfect one is out there. Wink

Ginger1982 · 11/10/2021 12:03

Yeah sorry, it's dog eat dog. She got there first.

Cocomarine · 11/10/2021 12:04

I’m also fascinated at why - of all things - a bag was something you couldn’t carry!

Cissyandflora · 11/10/2021 12:04

I would have bought it even if I hadn’t wanted it. Just because of the arm space part of the story.

WalkingOnTheCracks · 11/10/2021 12:05

This reminds me of a complaint I saw about eBay….

“I’d been watching the item for two weeks. I checked on it every day and made some bids, but right at the last minute someone came in and bid more than anyone and won the item! They hadn’t even bid before! It’s so unfair and eBay should do something to stop that happening!”

DahliaMacNamara · 11/10/2021 12:06

I saw a sign in a charity shop window recently. I don't remember the exact wording, but the gist of it was 'The item you plan to come back for tomorrow might be bought today by someone who saw it yesterday'. I thought it was to encourage sales, but maybe it was a salutary warning to ditherers not to hesitate over goodies they might fancy.
Better luck next time.

MrsRobbieHart · 11/10/2021 12:06

Seriously, I’m the only person who would have not taken it if I’d been her?

But you wanted to take it off her today. How is that different?

CatkinToadflax · 11/10/2021 12:06

I’m puzzled that you say you’re “nice like that” and yet you asked to take it off her and believe she is in the wrong for not handing it to you. She doesn’t know that you’d already seen it and had come back for it - anyone could say that. She was perfectly entitled to buy it.

LegoSteppingStones · 11/10/2021 12:07

OP - Am I being unreasonable?

Rest of world - Yes!

OP - No I'm not! I'm nice!

Original poster
AngeloMysterioso · 11/10/2021 12:07

@Crimblecrumble1990

I would have given it to you OP. If I had literally just picked it up then definitely. Had i been walking around with it having selected it to buy then maybe not. But then again I am a bit of a push over in life :)
Thank you! Jeez I’m starting to despair for humanity…
OP posts:
cptartapp · 11/10/2021 12:07

I'd have hung it round my neck the day before if I wanted it that much. YABU.
Frustrating though.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 11/10/2021 12:08

OMG are you that person?

It was in a shop! First come, first served.

Talk about 'entitled'.

slashlover · 11/10/2021 12:08

@DahliaMacNamara

I saw a sign in a charity shop window recently. I don't remember the exact wording, but the gist of it was 'The item you plan to come back for tomorrow might be bought today by someone who saw it yesterday'. I thought it was to encourage sales, but maybe it was a salutary warning to ditherers not to hesitate over goodies they might fancy. Better luck next time.
The number of times we get people saying "I was in last week/yesterday/earlier today and there was a thing." only to be told that it's sold is astonishing.
AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 11/10/2021 12:09

Thank you! Jeez I’m starting to despair for humanity…

But your idea of humanity is everyone giving you everything you want 😂😂

Blossomtoes · 11/10/2021 12:09

Jeez I’m starting to despair for humanity…

This makes you despair for humanity? Seriously? You need to get out more.

anon12345678901 · 11/10/2021 12:09

@AngeloMysterioso

Maybe she saw it yesterday, and had come back for it?

She went “ooh that’s a nice bag” and picked it up. Not indicative of someone who already knew it was there.

You sound so entitled. Good for her that she chose to buy something she wanted and picked up first.
MrsRobbieHart · 11/10/2021 12:10

Yeah I think when it comes to charity shops, everyone knows you take it when you see it. It’s not next, they don’t re stock, there is usually only one if every item. So if you want it, take no chances, buy it straight away. And don’t sulk like a child if you choose not to and someone else does.

Original poster
AngeloMysterioso · 11/10/2021 12:11

@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken

Thank you! Jeez I’m starting to despair for humanity…

But your idea of humanity is everyone giving you everything you want 😂😂

That’s a bit of a leap.
OP posts:
ABCeasyasdohrayme · 11/10/2021 12:11

Thank you! Jeez I’m starting to despair for humanity…

The dramatics 😂😂

Mynameismargot · 11/10/2021 12:13

I probably l probably would have given it to you. Not because I'm super nice or anything but just because I hate awkward confrontations and I would have given it to you to try and prevent one.

saleorbouy · 11/10/2021 12:13

If you want something buy it when you see it, perhaps you could have purchased it the other day and left it behind the till for collection. Check online Ebay or if you have a local baby swap shop I'm sure you'll find another nice one.