To think she ought to have let me have it?

[AngeloMysterioso]

On my way home from town yesterday I popped into a charity shop for a browse and they had a lovely baby changing bag. I wanted to buy it but didn’t have the arm space for any more stuff and the woman who ran the shop said they couldn’t keep it for me, so I came back into town this morning to get it.
The charity shop still has a utterly daft one way system so it’s really cramped and today I had the pram. Ahead of me was a woman whose Mum (I presume) was standing next to the bags with a pram while she looked at other stuff. In front of them was someone in a wheelchair so I stood and waited until they could move so I could pick the bag up.
The woman then walks back over to her Mum, spots the bag and picks it up. I said “Oh, I was going to get that, I’ve come back into town for it.”

Now in her position, what I’d have done was said on, here you go, and handed it over. However she just shrugged and said “oh, sorry.” And took it.

AIBU to think that’s a dick move and she should have let me have it?

I bet if you hadn’t said anything she wouldn’t have bought it….

@wildchild554

yabu but for future reference, charity shops usually will hang on to something for you till the next day if you pay for it.

If you'd read even just the very first post you would see that the shop would not hold onto it.

I don't understand @AngeloMysterioso
If you would have been happy to give it to her, then why are you so upset she has it?

@SoupDragon if you'd have read the posts you'd understand that the OP didn't offer to pay, because it would've left her with no money,

She drip fed the fact that she didn't actually offer to pay.

I'd advise you to read all the OPs posts before telling others they're wrong.

*Honestly- because I needed to wait for my child benefit payment to come in today. Yesterday I didn’t have enough money left having already done the shopping when I went in. Which was why I asked if they could put it aside for me.

On top of that yes I was carrying three heavy full bags and was in pain in my back and bursting for a wee, so at the time I just couldn’t face waiting in the queue and then standing outside in the rain transferring a load of stuff from one bag to another before carrying on home. The shop was shutting so I thought I’d go back first thing today and get it- you know the rest.

Maybe I am BU but the whole vibe from her just felt a bit “oh soz it’s mine now, sucks to be you.”*

FYI @SoupDragon

[quote Offmyfence]@SoupDragon if you'd have read the posts you'd understand that the OP didn't offer to pay, because it would've left her with no money,

She drip fed the fact that she didn't actually offer to pay.

I'd advise you to read all the OPs posts before telling others they're wrong.

[/quote]
They
Do
Not
Put
Things
By

FYI

@SoupDragon I did read it but a lot won't but if you offer to pay for it then they will.

@SoupDragon then why go shopping with no money!

Jesus, you've got no money to buy a second had change bag, but you're having a second child?!

God, nappies, wipes, nappy cream, dummies ....

Ridiculous to expect sneaky be else to understand how needy you are!

Someone not sneaky .... bloody autocorrect!

@SoupDragon
Of
Course
They
Will
Keep
It
If
You've
Paid
Because
They're
In
A
Win
Win
Situation
Hope
That
Helps
And
Hope
I've
Also
Equalled
Your
PA
Thing
Of
Doing
A
Long
List
Of
Words?

Crikey, this thread has got so many backs up, including mine.
The OP lost out.
She posted as feeling entitled.

She will not come back. ( wish he/she would though.)

Of
Course
They
Will
Keep
It
If
You've
Paid

But she didn't pay. So what's the point of this comment?

I think the shop was mean for not letting u pay and holding onto it for one day. I personally would have took it and just struggled tied the bloody thing round my neck. I'd have killed myself getting it home cos I'm bloody minded like that. Once carried a huge rug on three busses, driver wasnt going to let me on one of them but I got it home in the end

@Ddot

I think the shop was mean for not letting u pay and holding onto it for one day. I personally would have took it and just struggled tied the bloody thing round my neck. I'd have killed myself getting it home cos I'm bloody minded like that. Once carried a huge rug on three busses, driver wasnt going to let me on one of them but I got it home in the end

OP did not have the money to pay for it though.

I had this happen once. My daughter spotted a beautiful miniature mouse in a glass jar. We picked it up and went to pay. A lady rushed in saying she had just gone to the bank to get some money and was coming back to buy it. Did I hand it over, no! Of course I didn't! She didn't ask the shop to keep it behind the counter and just presumed it would still be sat on the shelf waiting for her. I was very polite but told her that we were now buying it. She was pretty pissed off with me but that's life!

If I see something I really like in a charity shop I find a way to carry it, not just hope that it's still there the next day. I don't understand why you couldn't just buy the bag and put some of your other stuff inside to carry.

At thr endcthe day ITS JUST A CHUFFING BAG.

So couldn't carry, didnt have the money, now feels hard done by. We have all missed out on something for whatever reason. Hope a better one comes your way x

AngeloMysterioso

Just go out and buy yourself a completely new really good version you’ll feel instantly better. I get tactics like this in London all the time with pushchairs blocking me to where there is an offer on in the supermarket they even take the lot without leaving one or the sly pull it off the rail from the other side of the rail when I am at the front of the rail looking . I was at a carboot and that tactic left me open mouthed I have to say. She approached with a poker face but her arm was pulling the slip off the rail below surface. She did this bare faced cheek literally! Usually if you are at that section of rail it’s you got there first. Another tactic at a vintage fair woman pushes hangers tight against where I was looking . I actually pulled this woman (stretching the word here) up on it and oh was she a nasty piece of work. I would say survival of the fittest but actually as an old lady said to me you’ve got to be cunning these days. Sadly it’s true. Learn from it . Either to not be the one who takes the last after eight or get tactical in a discreet way I always make sure to be thoughtful it’s only stuff at the end of the day . I remember a market stall selling Wholefoods stuff . People were fighting like there were food shortages. It got nasty. Those stallholders remember me to this day for being polite, thoughtful , helpful and not behaving like scum. Reputation is everything. I just stepped away from the scrum and stopped the elderly being knocked over. Gucci sale at Harrods women with babies on their shoulders broke the glass doors, knocked over the roping and barged through security yes with new borns loose . I kept thinking on seeing the madness they are not giving it away and is that what Gucci represents perhaps they were shoplifters and the babies were tactical? During Covid the loo roll crisis the posh area was cleaned out the poor area people were giving the elderly priority and letting them have the last packet that taught me a massive life lesson about perceptions of class.

What a strange world you live in @Darlingx. Here's a thought, get hobbies that don't involve shopping.

Those stallholders remember me to this day for being polite, thoughtful , helpful and not behaving like scum. Reputation is everything.
This did make me laugh a lot though, so thanks for that!

Very true these are memories from over a long period but sourcing clothes as a costume designer does involve an element and actually I really enjoy it and I manage to be polite with it . Also shopping for toilet paper is kind of essential 😂

I agree with Nietzschethehiker's assessment. However, I would have given you the bag as I'm a nice person

Why was it a dick move? The shop hadn't reserved it for you. Did you offer to pay and them keep it to one side until this morning? The other woman owed you nothing.

I did, but they said they’ve got too much stuff as it is so they couldn’t.

How did you offer to pay if you were waiting for child benefit and didn't have enough money with you?

@MRex

Those stallholders remember me to this day for being polite, thoughtful , helpful and not behaving like scum. Reputation is everything. This did make me laugh a lot though, so thanks for that!

Just read that post you quoted and...

I recall a very similar experience, except that my small child made a wide and profound remark and then everyone in the panic-buying mob clapped. So I'm clearly superior..