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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to just be sick of men..

189 replies

crochetmonkey74 · 21/09/2021 14:01

Caught by accident two family men known to me discussing how they'd 'got their own pictures' of a dance teacher who was teaching their 6 year old daughters. They were with their wives and children, both supposedly Christian - both in their early 30s so not a generational thing as is often trotted out. It occured to me that when they were dating their wives they would have been MORTIFIED for these new shiny women to hear them being so gross yet now the wives have committed, given them children, become part of the furniture they are supposed to listen to any old shit.
And yes, I know that there are loads of you who will say 'my DH /DP would never dream of doing this' so obviously I am not talking about them- is anyone else just fed up of continually being disappointed even by men you previously liked or trusted?
I know I am being ranty but i'm going with it!

OP posts:
seaandsandcastles · 21/09/2021 14:14

And I’m sure there are lots of men who are just sick of women for X, Y and X.

Men aren’t one homogeneous group so don’t treat them like one.

Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 21/09/2021 14:15

@seaandsandcastles

And I’m sure there are lots of men who are just sick of women for X, Y and X.

Men aren’t one homogeneous group so don’t treat them like one.

That wasn't the point of my thread at all- I clearly stated that I wasn't talking about them as a homogeneous group
OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 21/09/2021 14:18

I hope you called them out on being disgusting perverts. And warm that dance teacher so that she doesn't allow them near her again.

Pinkbonbon · 21/09/2021 14:18

*warn

EatYourVegetables · 21/09/2021 14:21

Congratulations OP, you got a #notallmen in 1 reply.

EatYourVegetables · 21/09/2021 14:23

But YANBU, that behaviour is disguising and I expect not many women would engage in something similar.

iwillalwaysloveyou · 21/09/2021 14:25

@seaandsandcastles

And I’m sure there are lots of men who are just sick of women for X, Y and X.

Men aren’t one homogeneous group so don’t treat them like one.

🙄 didn’t take long
Ponoka7 · 21/09/2021 14:26

I thought that this was going to be about the murder of the family in Derbyshire.

"And I’m sure there are lots of men who are just sick of women for X, Y and X"
I doubt that it would come close to what women are sick of seeing/hearing day in day out.

Nothanksverymuch · 21/09/2021 14:27

I'd be tipping off the dance teacher TBH.

Surely a safeguarding issue if the parents are photographing in the class without parents consent.

You can choose how much of the sex pesting to disclose.

fiveinfulham · 21/09/2021 14:27

What do they mean they “have their own pictures” of this teacher? I assume these were taken without her knowledge?

I would just tell the dance teacher. Name and shame. What’s stopping you?

CanICelebrate · 21/09/2021 14:28

Yabu

HarrietsChariot · 21/09/2021 14:28

@Ponoka7

I thought that this was going to be about the murder of the family in Derbyshire.

"And I’m sure there are lots of men who are just sick of women for X, Y and X"
I doubt that it would come close to what women are sick of seeing/hearing day in day out.

If it did, it wouldn't count.
IWillFindYou · 21/09/2021 14:31

YANBU at all.

But these threads don’t go well, they get bombarded with women do it too messages…

OneTC · 21/09/2021 14:32

Do you mean they sneakily took pictures?

If so that's fucking gross

HesterShaw1 · 21/09/2021 14:35

YANBU.

I'm sick of the lot of them. And if it hurts some men's feelz who are not all like that, so bloody what?

DrSbaitso · 21/09/2021 14:39

And I’m sure there are lots of men who are just sick of women for X, Y and X.

Indeed, and they say so on their own male-centred forums and are rarely told off for it.

Clymene · 21/09/2021 14:40

That's absolutely grim

ManifestingJoy · 21/09/2021 14:40

@EatYourVegetables

Congratulations OP, you got a #notallmen in 1 reply.
My thoughrs :-/
DrSbaitso · 21/09/2021 14:45

@seaandsandcastles

And I’m sure there are lots of men who are just sick of women for X, Y and X.

Men aren’t one homogeneous group so don’t treat them like one.

Incidentally, I've been on male-centred forums. Their annoyances with women are generally about them not being slim, pretty or willing enough to have sex.
Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 21/09/2021 14:47

to clarify- at the end of the session- the dance teacher stood with the girls and they all had a photo taken as a group- (presuming for website etc) but parents were allowed to take one as well- the 'mums' tended to go forward to take the picture, and the comment was made as everyone was sitting back down etc - so the dance teacher wasn't photographed during or without her knowledge.

OP posts:
OuiOuiBonjour · 21/09/2021 14:47

Ugh - been there! I used to work in an afterschool club, had regularly encountered a "creepy Dad" at pick up, "awwww miss I'm feeling scared too will you hold my hand?", "oooooh Miss, I've been a naughty boy, are you going to put me in the naughty corner?" Really gave me the creeps. Frequently attended with his wife, who just used to roll her eyes and look angry at me when he made these comments that I was uncomfortable with. I was probably 15 years their junior. Didn't entertain any of his crap,
just swiftly moved him on.

Anyway one day, his 6 year old pipes up "You're a good dancer, Miss."

"Erm, ok Frankie. Not sure you've ever seen me dance. But thanks for the random compliment!"

"I HAVE seen you dance!!! You were shaking your bum!!!"

"Ok, well anyway Frankie we are moving on to a different activity now."

"You were dancing on my daddy's phone."

"I don't think that's quite right Frankie, your Daddy has never seen me dance or taken videos of me. Please don't say things like that."

"I HAVE SEEN YOU DANCING ON MY DADDY'S PHONE!!! YOU ARE BEING MEAN. YOU WERE WEARING RED AND GOLD CLOTHES AND SHOWING YOUR BELLY OFF. MY DADDY DOES HAVE PICTURES OF YOU ON HIS PHONE!!!! I am. NOT making it up. In one you are wearing a PURPLE dress and holding hands with a boy and there's one of you in a green dress with your hair down and in another you are wearing an orange skirt and there are lots and lots of them!!!!!"

The bastard had googled me and found pictures and youtube videos of me in dance shows and competitions from many many years ago when I was mainly at school or uni. Footage from when I was between 17 and 19 and they were pretty hard to find unless you went down an internet rabbit hole because I am so private. He must have found my name on the staff list, then googled it, then seen I'd trained at a certain dance school about 10 years before, then looked on youtube and local newspaper articles with that school mentioned and rough dates of when I'd have been there. And he'd downloaded them onto his phone. I can only imagine why.

Guess who became the new town pastor two years ago? Envy

Yep. Men can be gross.

I can't imagine a situation where a woman would do that.

Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 21/09/2021 14:48

@EatYourVegetables

Congratulations OP, you got a #notallmen in 1 reply.
hahahahahahah

i did think this!!

OP posts:
peoplearepeople · 21/09/2021 14:48

Agree that is really very grim. I wonder how they would feel if somebody was taking secret pictures of their daughters? I would also let the dance teacher know. Men like this really need to be shamed and feel some consequences for their actions. Sad

LaBellina · 21/09/2021 14:49

@EatYourVegetables

Congratulations OP, you got a #notallmen in 1 reply.
Grin that indeed didn’t take too long !

YANBU OP the older I get the more I believe that truly decent men exist but are unfortunately quite rare.

Original poster
crochetmonkey74 · 21/09/2021 14:50

Fucking hell ouioui that is terrifying

OP posts: