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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find this a bit annoying at EVERY meal?

339 replies

mockingbirdi · 04/08/2021 18:08

A good friend of mine has invited a new friend into our friendship group. There was originally about 4/5 of us going for lunch or dinner whenever so now there's 5/6. Absolutely fine

Except this friend of hers is nice enough but insists on eating chicken nuggets and chips! At every place we go

She was invited out with us to an Italian on Saturday. She has posted in the grouch at that she won't come as 'There isn't anything on the menu for me 😔'

So now, my friend that was originally her friend before she came into the group is saying we should change where we eat! So no Italian because they don't actually sell chicken nuggets and chips. And no Chinese that we like, or Japanese, as again nothing she wants there

AIBU to think this is ridiculous now?

OP posts:
Onesailwait · 04/08/2021 18:10

Suggest she picks up a happy meal on the way?Grin

dementedpixie · 04/08/2021 18:10

How irritating!

Original poster
mockingbirdi · 04/08/2021 18:11

@Onesailwait

Suggest she picks up a happy meal on the way?Grin

Funnily enough she doesn't like McDonald's Grin

OP posts:
Arrowheart · 04/08/2021 18:12

If you change where you go based on the fact that one person only likes chicken nuggets you are going to have a lot of very dull meals out at Mcdonalds.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 04/08/2021 18:12

I'd just say "sorry your friend doesnt like the restaurants we sometimes go to - why doesnt she join us afterwards for drinks at X? Understand if you would rather wait and meet when she comes too, but if not, table at Italians is booked at 7"

AlmostSummer21 · 04/08/2021 18:12

YANBU she's welcome to come or NOT. The original group doesn't need a regular booking at a nuggets & chips venue to suit the new person. If she wants a regular group to go to nuggets & chips she can set it up.

& that's coming from someone with a very limited diet.

lazyarse123 · 04/08/2021 18:12

Just say you're still going they can come or not. How restricting when it's not a medical issue.

sounknown · 04/08/2021 18:13

I can see both sides of this.. I have an eating disorder called AFRID whereby I always stick to my 'known' foods.
The thought of being out of my comfort zone terrifies me, and especially being around friends too as I feel the pressure. I find it extremely embarrassing but it's something I can't control.

Maybe this lady has the same thing.

Chibbles · 04/08/2021 18:14

I have a friend like this. Only eats toddler food.

I really try to sympathise, I have aspergers and have some weird "quirks". But fuck me it gets on my tits when we can't EVER go somewhere nice, or when she sits with a bum face because the only thing she'll eat on a menu is chips.

There are some places I don't join the group, crowded bars and nightclubs. But I don't try to get them to change their evening, I just decline the invite, or go home before they go on to that place. But NO we have to change any restaurant we go to if there isn't beige crap on the menu.

FrownedUpon · 04/08/2021 18:14

YANBU. I hate adult picky eaters & it’s really unfair when it affects where everyone else can eat. Don’t change where you’re eating.

TooWicked · 04/08/2021 18:15

I wouldn’t be changing where we eat to accommodate someone that will only eat chicken nuggets and chips.

With such a restricted diet she (and her friend that added her to the group) will have to accept that sometimes she won’t be able to join you all.

Eileen101 · 04/08/2021 18:15

"sorry to hear it, we look forward to you joining us at the next gathering".

On a side note, where on earth would you find chicken nuggets and chips on the menu for adults, except maccies? Grin

RandomMess · 04/08/2021 18:16

@sounknown do you accept that your friends will go out elsewhere because they get a lot of enjoyment out of eating the food they like or do you think they shouldn't ever have a meal out without you.

Would it be the same if one hated nightclubs and the rest love it, that the rest of the group would never go clubbing?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 04/08/2021 18:16

@sounknown

I can see both sides of this.. I have an eating disorder called AFRID whereby I always stick to my 'known' foods. The thought of being out of my comfort zone terrifies me, and especially being around friends too as I feel the pressure. I find it extremely embarrassing but it's something I can't control.

Maybe this lady has the same thing.

Do you make the whole group eat at a specific restaurant every time? Or do you acknowledge that your ARFID means yo come some times and not other.
VinylCafe · 04/08/2021 18:17

I can understand not liking a particular menu and if my friends wanted to go to restaurant I don't like, I would make an excuse and say I'll join them next time. Really, if she's going to restrict her diet like that, then sometimes she won't be able to come. Does she have gastric problems?

Original poster
mockingbirdi · 04/08/2021 18:17

@Eileen101

"sorry to hear it, we look forward to you joining us at the next gathering".

On a side note, where on earth would you find chicken nuggets and chips on the menu for adults, except maccies? Grin

She usually just asks for an adult portion. I've known her only 4/5 weeks and already been to a LOT of different places where she's done exactly this

We do frequent Harvester/Toby Carvery type places quite often as a group, and the likes of independent fancier knock offs, which always seem to have chicken nuggets and chips And WKD and lemonade

OP posts:
drpet49 · 04/08/2021 18:17

* YANBU she's welcome to come or NOT. The original group doesn't need a regular booking at a nuggets & chips venue to suit the new person.*

^This

Hadalifeonce · 04/08/2021 18:17

I would respond with something like 'that's a shame, maybe next time?'

MotionActivatedDog · 04/08/2021 18:17

Just respond to the group chat “I’ll stick with Italian as that suits me”

I guarantee you others will then say “yeah me too.”

sounknown · 04/08/2021 18:18

@RandomMess @BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz
Definitely understand that friends can eat out without me, I'd never make a fuss over that.

Atalune · 04/08/2021 18:20

That’s rubbish!

I wouldn’t put up with it either. Fine occasionally if it suits, but one person dictating the places we go every time. No way. Very rude.

Original poster
mockingbirdi · 04/08/2021 18:20

She can't be that fussy as she likes a roast dinner, but says she just loves chicken nuggets above most stuff

Should also add she will eat whatever desserts are on offer at wherever, and likes little bits like olives

OP posts:
RandomMess · 04/08/2021 18:20

Exactly.

You can't expect the rest of the group only eat where works for one.

I have lots of food intolerances and it's a complete pain and accept sometimes I can't join in because there is nothing suitable in the menu.

I cannot imagine how tough if it is for those with allergies.

SarahAndQuack · 04/08/2021 18:20

@MotionActivatedDog

Just respond to the group chat “I’ll stick with Italian as that suits me”

I guarantee you others will then say “yeah me too.”

YY, definitely this.
Lockdownbear · 04/08/2021 18:22

Chinese do Sweet and sour chicken without the sauce aka Chicken Balls.

What's the difference between them and nuggets?