To find this a bit annoying at EVERY meal?

[mockingbirdi]

A good friend of mine has invited a new friend into our friendship group. There was originally about 4/5 of us going for lunch or dinner whenever so now there's 5/6. Absolutely fine

Except this friend of hers is nice enough but insists on eating chicken nuggets and chips! At every place we go

She was invited out with us to an Italian on Saturday. She has posted in the grouch at that she won't come as 'There isn't anything on the menu for me 😔'

So now, my friend that was originally her friend before she came into the group is saying we should change where we eat! So no Italian because they don't actually sell chicken nuggets and chips. And no Chinese that we like, or Japanese, as again nothing she wants there

AIBU to think this is ridiculous now?

Nope. I couldn't. I'm 39 and managed to eat pasta with pesto for the first time ever last week as part of my treatment.
I really couldn't imagine eating spag bol or macaroni and cheese.

@TheDevils yeah, but would you expect everyone else to consistently change where they eat just to accommodate you?

@Drivingmeupthewall

Nope. I couldn't. I'm 39 and managed to eat pasta with pesto for the first time ever last week as part of my treatment. I really couldn't imagine eating spag bol or macaroni and cheese.

@TheDevils yeah, but would you expect everyone else to consistently change where they eat just to accommodate you?

No. And I've made it clear that I think she's being unreasonable. However, the attitude displayed towards people who have selective eating issues such as ARFID is disgusting.

When I was a vegi waaay before it was as big as it is now I was happy to have whatever the place had to offer.. Wouldn't have imagined expecting anyone to accommodate me only if they had other hopes!! Bordering on cfery imo.

YANBU, OP. Go for drinks before or after and the fussy eater can come for those.

Adult fussy eaters are annoying as fuck.

(Obvs if there is a actual medical reason, then these people are excluded from the above statement. But otherwise grown adults who refuse to eat anything other than chicken and chips need to piss off.)

@UrAWizHarry

Adult fussy eaters are annoying as fuck.

(Obvs if there is a actual medical reason, then these people are excluded from the above statement. But otherwise grown adults who refuse to eat anything other than chicken and chips need to piss off.)

Nice. Does an actual phobia of food make it on to your list of acceptable medical issues?

Possibly this person can't comprehend the pleasure others get from varied and interesting food, so perhaps it's hard for her to imagine what you all 'lose' by restricting yourselves to places with a specific sort of chicken nuggets?

However it isn't for everyone else to frequently modify their experience to suit someone with specific needs, if this person had any sense she would excuse herself from places she didn't like rather than making the group change. It's in her longer term interest too, how long before others get tired of the restrictions and find they don't enjoy it like they used to? It wouldn't be surprising to learn further down the line that the group lost its spark and fizzled out and nobody is enjoying themselves.

I see why you don't want this to persist OP, if you don't nip this in the bud now it'll be more difficult to do so later.

I used to know someone who only ever had plain chicken breast when out. If it came in a sauce or marinade she’d ask for a separate one plain. At weddings when the RSVP asked for dietary restrictions she’d respond ‘chicken breast please’ even if there were no plans to do chicken.

I somewhat empathise as I’ve had sensory issues with food textures in the past and can’t always eat as much variety as I’d like (although this has improved with CBT). However I’d never inflict this on my friends, if anything I’m embarrassed of my condition and try to minimise it because it makes me feel child-like.

I’m a bit funny about food, but that is my issue to deal with - certainly not to be projected onto anyone else! I stick to basic well - known dishes, so it my group go to somewhere that I wouldn’t cope with or enjoy, I’ll happily sit that meal out, or just have chips. I can’t bear BBQ food, so I attend, but take my own stuff. Once it’s plated up, nobody notices or cares. No way would I expect plans to change just because of me and my quirk!

She is being unreasonable as she should just opt out when there's a restaurant she won't like. I'm very fussy, always have been but got a lot better over the years but there's still places I won't try so would opt out and meet friends afterwards.

Posters calling out adult fussy eaters, medical condition or not, need to grow up. The luxury of being an adult is choosing to eat food you like and are comfortable with. If that means 'eating like a toddler' than so be it.

If you’ve only known her a few weeks and this is the first meal out, fair enough. It’s welcoming to accomadate the newbie to the group.

However, if you’ve for several meals, and she’s beginning to dictate what’s going on, then that’s not so good. You can’t always go to a greasey cafe the place.

Most Italians do breaded chicken and fries - I’d suggest she calls to arrange an alternative with the venue to meet her needs. I’ve done this for my uncle in an Indian as he has chrones and a stoma so can’t have spicy food. Decent restaurants will accommodate if called in advance.

Glad to read that your new friend avoids McDonalds, but otherwise YANBU. I'd accommodate someone who is vegan to ensure they could have a choice, respect those who don't eat pork on religious grounds, but not what you describe.

Looks like I'm in the minority, I'm not much of a foodie, so just automatically thought what's the big deal? Why does it matter if you go to weatherspoons or an Italian? As long as you are together as a group surely that's main thing? Can see I'm in the minority, never occurred to me that it would matter what was on the menu. But then again I never go out really, so not the best person to ask.

Absolutely not, what a weirdo. This would massively annoy me being asked to change plans to pander to one person. You’ll never get to eat anywhere nice!

Chicken nuggets
Harvester/Toby Carvery
"Friendship groups"

It's a whole different world out there.

What did people in medieval times without chicken and chips.

Wonder what their choice of food was if they were difficult eaters!

@TheCupboardOfChaos

Don’t forget the milkshakes and WKD.

Picky eaters are one of my pet hates, they really get on my tits.

Pretty sure medieval people ate chicken....

@Toomanyradishes
Sorry I should have said specifically chicken nuggets!

Just throw the whole woman away.

@wanttomarryamillionaire

Picky eaters are one of my pet hates, they really get on my tits.

Nice. You know that some of us have actual eating disorders and aren't picky through choice??

Try having some compassion