To tell off someone else's child?

[Wingingit573]

There's a little boy at my daughter's playgroup who is 3 years old, My daughter is 17months.

He's obviously going through a phase of hitting, 3 weeks in a row he's hit my daughter and other children in the face with toys that are quite heavy.

His mum does absolutely nothing and just says oh dear in a sing song voice... while sitting on her phone Today I told him no, that wasn't kind and he can't be hitting other children after he hit my daughter around the head with a scuttlebug.

His mum picked up on the fact that I'd told him no and was absolutely livid.
I wouldn't like to overstep and I know that all kids and probably my own will go through this phase.

Was I wrong to tell him no? I can just see his behaviour becoming worse and him really hurting another child!

I would have done the same, 3 year old should be told not to hit.

Hopefully mum has learnt a thing or 2 from you

Of course you were not wrong. He hit your daughter.

His mother sounds useless.

It’s one thing to say “no” firmly and relive your child, but it’s quite another to tell him he can’t be around other children.

@Notawriteryet

It’s one thing to say “no” firmly and relive your child, but it’s quite another to tell him he can’t be around other children.

I never told him he couldn't be around other children..

Also would have done the same.
Mother's obv not arsed

Oh I have a friend like this. She doesn't want to be negative or tell her child no
We live different parts of the country now so rarely see them, I love her but I find it very difficult when her DC destroys my DDs toys. Her DC is a year younger than mine but has SEN; it's very hard and I'm not sure what the right reaction is in this case. I have taken toys off her DC before and told her not to break things.

That said a random child I would absolutely say no if they're hurting your child.

@Notawriteryet

It’s one thing to say “no” firmly and relive your child, but it’s quite another to tell him he can’t be around other children.

This is just making shit up! How on earth did you get that from the OP?!

YANBU. If his mother had told him off herself I'd say YABU but obviously she didn't.

@Notawriteryet not a reader either it seems
She didn’t say he can’t be around other children

I think it’s fine to correct a child, but I suspect the majority view will be that reprimanding someone else’s child raises the hackles in the ( unobservant /neglectful ) parent.

@Notawriteryet

It’s one thing to say “no” firmly and relive your child, but it’s quite another to tell him he can’t be around other children.

Where does OP say that? You've quite literally just made this up!

No little shit needs some boundaries

I think the voting says it all. Kids do hit sometimes but it's the parents' job to deal with it and stop it. Not sit on their arse and smile adoring.

Of course you were right. He hit your child. What did she expect you to do? Give him a round of applause? You basically did her job for her telling him how to behave.

@Notawriteryet

It’s one thing to say “no” firmly and relive your child, but it’s quite another to tell him he can’t be around other children.

Obviously Notareaderyet either

Adoringly

YANBU but a parent who can’t be bothered to actually parent their kid probably also won’t take kindly to it. Just ignore or if you’re feeling brave say something like “I wouldn’t have to tell your child off if you actually looked after them”

No you weren’t unreasonable at all. The mother has had plenty opportunities and done fuck all. You only said ‘no’ you didn’t go OTT, you corrected his behaviour and protected your child.

Yanbu. I would have done the same. As if you would just sit there saying ‘oh dear’ and doing nothing if you saw your child hit a smaller one

I think that's fine and I'd expect the playgroup leader to back you up.

There was a child like this at a playgroup I went to and the mother was equally useless. I get that children do these things, but would expect a parent to tell the child no and pay a bit more attention from then on.

If someone was getting hurt than I would absolutely say something if the parent did FA. I’d give the parent a couple of chances to step in first, which it sounds like you did.

The kid is a nightmare, he just laughs at her when she says oh dear... Meanwhile my daughter is absolutely beside herself.

I'm not going to pretend that I don't have a breather when my daughter is playing etc, but I don't sit on my phone the entire time and completely ignore her undesirable behaviour

Ignore her.
Remove your child saying very loudly

That was not very nice we don't hit other children do we

Yanbu.in fact I would have don't it the first time.