To tell off someone else's child?

[Wingingit573]

There's a little boy at my daughter's playgroup who is 3 years old, My daughter is 17months.

He's obviously going through a phase of hitting, 3 weeks in a row he's hit my daughter and other children in the face with toys that are quite heavy.

His mum does absolutely nothing and just says oh dear in a sing song voice... while sitting on her phone Today I told him no, that wasn't kind and he can't be hitting other children after he hit my daughter around the head with a scuttlebug.

His mum picked up on the fact that I'd told him no and was absolutely livid.
I wouldn't like to overstep and I know that all kids and probably my own will go through this phase.

Was I wrong to tell him no? I can just see his behaviour becoming worse and him really hurting another child!

[TableFlowerss]

This

[TheTallOakTrees]

Children need clear boundaries around acceptable behaviours, the mother appears unable to show him so he needs guidance from others, including parents, schools etc. Some parents do sit on phones and appear unable to give guidance to their children on acceptable behaviour. It's a lazy approach and obviously isn't helping her son.

YANBU

[TableFlowerss]

@Embracelife

Ignore her.
Remove your child saying very loudly

That was not very nice we don't hit other children do we

This (i mean)

[TheTallOakTrees]

@Notawriteryet

It’s one thing to say “no” firmly and relive your child, but it’s quite another to tell him he can’t be around other children.

Maybe go back and read the OP first post since you appear to have misread it.

[Killahangilion]

I used to run a playgroup in a church hall and if we saw this happen regularly, either myself or one of the other volunteers would definitely speak to the parent about their child’s behaviour and suggest ways to help them deal with the problem behaviour, if they seemed ineffective.

If the person running the playgroup won’t get involved, find another group that’s better organised.

[Maggiesfarm]

You were right to tell him. Yes they often do go through hitting (spitting and biting) phases but it's up to adults to tell them it isn't on. I'm susprised his mother didn't.

[Natashaj27]

I would've told him off too. At the playgroup I take DS to, we all help look after each other's children so everybody at least gets a chance to breathe and have a hot drink. I definitely wouldn't mind another mum/nan telling me DS "no, it isn't very nice to hit people. Everybody should play together" or something like that. It was actually another mum that managed to get my 1 year old to share a toy with her child.

[chaosrabbitland]

you did what i would have done op , id be damned if id watch an older kid hit my daughter and not say anything to the little sod , its not a one off incident , hes doing it regularly .mother is crap at parenting and does nothing , he needs to be told by somebody its not acceptable , if his mother had starting off on me shed have been getting told to bloody control her son a bit better

[OhRene]

Tbh I wouldn't know, I've literally never been around children before having mine and she's yet to go through a phase like this.

I ran and co-ran three babies and toddler groups each week for around 5 years. It's not usual behaviour. Nor is it always a phase. We had this kid. Useless mother and natural violent tendencies. The mum would sit and smile whilst admiring the skill her son had when decking other small children and babies.
That same child ended up in nursery with the playgroup children, then all the way through primary. He never improved. The mother would shrug everything off as normal child behaviour or a phase that every child goes through. Spitting in other kids food, biting, kicking the shit out of or strangling other boys playing football, purposely slamming classmates into walls when running past and generally being aggressive and not doing as he was told. He had no respect for authority because his mum let him away with murder.

And we could all see this happening from toddlerhood.

OP, you were right to tell that child off but don't expect things to change. They may just get worse.

If I knew then what I do now, I would have pursued every formal complaints procedure the nursery and schools had. Don't be afraid to speak to the committee to see what can be done.