To ask what's occurring in your local Facebook group?

[PeonyTimez]

It's all kicking off on ours! A local counsellor has put up access only signs on local roads that people use to avoid the massive traffic jams on the one main road out of the village. If you don't use the local roads you can be sitting in traffic for 45 mins.

This morning villagers sat in the street to stop people using the road, it's split the community! up in arms they are!

What's happening in yours ?

In between the missing dog posts and passive aggressive "sorry I was driving at the speed limit when you were in such a rush" posts we have a few moans about the M62 being shut and subsequent traffic coming through the main road. And "is the McDonald's ketchup still made in the local factory cos it doesn't say it on the packet"

Folk living in houses built on fields complaining about an application for houses to be built on an adjacent field. Same folk complaining about plans for a new and much needed primary school in the village. And folk living in the ‘old’ part of the village calling themselves ‘indigenous’ populations and arguing with all and sundry for coming to live here where ‘new communities’ are not wanted. Small village in Central Belt of Scotland, nowhere near the grossly sprawling metropolis they claim it to be.

Our group has announced that it is changing from a public group to a private one to try and weed out all the MLM Huns who are spamming it with posts for their overpriced wax melt burners, nutrition shakes, beauty products and the like. Controversy!!!

Not many lost dog posts on ours but PLENTY of lost cat posts!

Cats roam, they come home, I can guarantee that 9/10 there’s a follow up telling us that ‘Go Cat’ came home!

Probably got his end away with Sheba two doors down or decided that his home was too stressful with multiple toddlers, so he decided to go AWOL for a few days!

Rural area, very popular with tourists.

Last night some visitors pitched a tent in someone's front garden

All hell has broken loose on ours today because a bench has disappeared from outside the village hall. Chaos has ensued... accusations are being thrown around left, right and center.

So far the suspects are;

• Local trouble making teens
• The council
• Scrap collectors
• Nearby filming studio (they get the blame for everything round here!)
• Meghan Markle

Don't worry though we've got the local equivalent of Inspector Clouseau on the case, so I wait with baited breath for the epic mystery to be resolved imminently.

Graffiti
Traffic issues
Potholes
School children misbehaving

Someone parking on a grass verge

The same bloke parking close to a junction when he’s not parked on the grass verge

The same poor, poor guy daring to park outside his own house

Slow news day obviously.

Someone complaining about drunks being anti-social around the traffic lights - reams of replies saying how unkind it is and the person should invite the drunks over to their house, or at least take a roast dinner down for them.

We had similar in the holidays with kids damaging trees - the consensus then was at least they weren’t egging houses like there are only two activities teenagers could possibly participate in.

**Lost pets
**The Ambulance helicopter has just landed at , does anyone know what's happened?
**Outrage at someone asking about the helicopter, I'm sure the family don't want it plastered over FB etc
**Has anyone got the number for the local Hermes driver?
**Various debates about why town planning won't allow a Wetherspoons and the outrage some people feel about that
**Rave reviews about the new take away place in town, how it's so refreshing to have something different, not a chain etc

Not mine... but my hometown...

Some guy has been outed as a peaodophile apparently. His name was posted on Facebook with a photo of his house. Crowds of vigilantes went to his house to beat him up, so the police got involved.

I never share these things on Facebook as you don’t personally know if it’s true or not

The best ones were:

• Vigilantes posted a photo of people dogging
• A publican from a shitty local pub that nobody goes to who got drunk and started ranting about how awful everyone in the area is; argument ensues between publicans and locals; quickly escalates to threats of a fight before being taken down by admins.

More regular posts include:

• Missing parcels
• Dog poo
• 17-year-olds looking for jobs
• People looking for gardeners /cleaners / nannies
• rubberneckers re. RTAs
• Rants about people who are not behaving appropriately according to whatever rules the poster believes are common decency.

I was worried I'd end up shamed on the site after my potty training DD ran out the front door to wee on the lawn (she was so fast we couldn't stop her) but I seem to have gotten away with it on this occasion...

No through traffic allowed down some roads. It's nothing but a tiny number of people complaining about the fact some roads are no longer open to through traffic.

According to them this is simultaneously causing a massive antisocial crime wave AND gentrifying the area.

Since these filters were put in place, we've had local elections and pro- road closure parties won comfortably and the mad carlovers lost their deposits.

But still they bang on about how "no one wants these closures".

It's very dull.

Oh and they saw a cyclist go through a red light once.

That and lost cats and moving boxes requests.

Mojo are you near me? Oh my god the moaning! Seeing loads more women and children on bikes since they cut the through traffic, I love it! Feeling a bit 🇳🇱

Millions of posts all warning not to go down a certain street/asking why you can’t go down the street because the police have blocked it off (car on its side after hitting a parked car apparently), and someone’s lost a python(!)

On next door, as well as the usual moans about dog poo and parking and a large number of lost cats, we have a family of ducks wandering around one particular neighbourhood, often crossing a dual carriageway!

The neighbours cat was lost. Now it's found. The excitement was that the neighbour lives over the road from me, and the cat looks similar to mine.That is the only thing to have happened around here since last Christmas when the Christmas tree was put up. Not a lot happens around here.

Someone found a chicken. Julie thinks it looks like Anna’s chicken. Anna claims it’s not hers, but looks like Joe’s down the end of the lane. Joe swears it isn’t his. Someone has clearly lost a chicken but no one willing to admit it’s theirs. Margie said it reminds her of her chicken who died last year. Margie will take the chicken if no one else wants her. 😂

• double mattress going free- it’s in the garden but free to take

-someone asking what happened near local shops- police around. Apparently a lovers dispute turned violent -someone’s trampoline got nicked out of their garden

Nice area

There's a small hole, described optimistically as a 'sinkhole', outside someone's house.

Someone else has asked if any schools have been shut due to covid, and there is anger about some damage to a small tree.

We are getting a farmer’s market every 2nd Sunday in the local park . This makes me more happy than it should 😀

Dog poo
Local swimming pool being demolished
Local banksy wannabee's latest antics
More dog poo

Helicopters
Traffic Calming Measures
Missing cats
Free Chairs
Free Desks
And new to the leaderboard, fountains.

Dog shit, dead cats, parking in kerbs and nobhead teenagers!

Electric scooter controversy (report to police vs get a life you old moaner)

Misdirected vaccine letters for people who are probably no longer in the country

Identify the flat in the delivery photo the courier sent

Low traffic neighbourhood arguments

Too many student flats getting built

Two-year-old pillows for sale, just £10.