Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit miffed that dc school did no cards for Father's day

286 replies

Glitteranddirt21 · 20/06/2021 14:59

Just wonder if anyone's dc school do anything for Father's day. The school do a mother's day shop where for a non school uniform day they take in a small gift that they then select from a shop later and wrap for us and always get a lovely card made for Mothers day but realised today that they never do anything for Father's day not even a card.

OP posts:
Fitforforty · 20/06/2021 15:04

DD1 made a card to give to someone special in her life. It wasn’t addressed to anybody in particular.

It’s a nice extra but it’s certainly not a school responsibility to make Father’s Day cards.

M0rT · 20/06/2021 15:05

It's a lot less common for children to not see their mother so maybe they are trying to be tactful towards the children with poor/absent fathers?

userchange8945 · 20/06/2021 15:06

Our school doesn't do cards for either holiday, not sure why but I think Father's Day in particular is a difficult one because many don't have an active father figure, sadly. It must be very difficult for the child, probably does more harm than good over all. I don't see the big deal, they can be done at home.

brittleheadgirl · 20/06/2021 15:06

Maybe it's a cohort with a large proportion of single mother households?
We didn't do anything for Mother's Day one year, as a little girl in the class had recently lost her mum.
As far as I know nobody has ever complained but I'm thinking now maybe there's a thread on here about me!! Hmm
Is it a big deal? Cards aren't exactly hard to find in the shops and it doesn't take long to do one at home if you prefer homemade?

singsingbluesilver · 20/06/2021 15:06

Do schools have to do everything now?

This can be a very challenging time for children who do not have any contact with dad. I don't blame schools at all from steering clear.

No dubt if they did do something there would be complaints that schools are wasting valuable learning time.

Ginqueen456 · 20/06/2021 15:07

My children's primary don't do anything for father's day either, they never have. I have no idea why they don't, maybe it's because a lot of the children don't have their dads involved but saying that there are quite a few who don't have a mum around either and they still do mothers day.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 20/06/2021 15:08

Yes, my guess is you live in an area with a high proportion of single mother households.

As a PP said, it's nice if they do little extra's though not compulsory.

PinataPam · 20/06/2021 15:08

In fact I don't think they should do either. My DC have a number of friends who have lost at least one, if not both parents. I think it should be kept out of school and done at home.

Original poster
Glitteranddirt21 · 20/06/2021 15:10

@Fitforforty

DD1 made a card to give to someone special in her life. It wasn’t addressed to anybody in particular.

It’s a nice extra but it’s certainly not a school responsibility to make Father’s Day cards.

Not saying its their responsibility we always do it but occurred to me today that I have a selection of lovely cards made at school and he has none.
OP posts:
TacoSunday · 20/06/2021 15:12

My DC school was CofE and did mother’s day but not Father’s Day. I assume because mother’s day has a religious origin.

LoopTheLoops · 20/06/2021 15:12

I’m thrilled that my kids school didn’t do Father’s Day cards, their father is absent, what do you suggest for kids whose fathers are absent having to sit their and watch other kids make Father’s Day cards? I was so relieved they didn’t do it

Crazycakelady17 · 20/06/2021 15:13

My DDs school do cards but they can address them to anyone they don’t say mother or father they just make them then the child chooses who they make them too
My DD did one for my DH her dad but her best friend did one for her Auntie who looks after her as a looked after child
Think this is a nice way of doing it but I don’t think schools should be obliged

AutoGroup · 20/06/2021 15:14

Even when I was at primary school and Brownies 40+ years ago, there was a move away from making Father's Day things because some children didn't have fathers at home.

Hm2020 · 20/06/2021 15:15

My ds school didn’t which am glad about as he’s been getting increasingly upset about having an absent father after a comment off a class mate I think the card would have sent him over the edge

Original poster
Glitteranddirt21 · 20/06/2021 15:15

@ThisIsStartingToBoreMe

Yes, my guess is you live in an area with a high proportion of single mother households.

As a PP said, it's nice if they do little extra's though not compulsory.

No you guess would be incorrect. We live in a village with a lot of family units.
OP posts:
singsingbluesilver · 20/06/2021 15:15

It can be very upsetting for children. This is why when I was teach lessons about relationships/ family trees I stopped asking children to draw up their own family tree. I asked them to do a fictional one eg a family from Harry Potter, a soap opera or one from the royal family.

cupsofcoffee · 20/06/2021 15:15

I think a lot of children don't have their fathers in their lives - so I suspect it's to try and avoid upset.

I really don't think schools should be responsible for Mothers' Day stuff either though! We never did anything like that when I was in primary school.

brittleheadgirl · 20/06/2021 15:17

@Glitteranddirt21
That's a very naive attitude op.

The other parents in my class had absolutely no idea that I had a child without a mother. It wasn't common knowledge, although we are a very tight knit community.

cocoloco987 · 20/06/2021 15:19

We do Mother's Day as all our dc have at least contact with their mums - even the ones who don't live with them. That is far from true with the dads so we give it a miss

Flowerlane · 20/06/2021 15:20

Church school here and we don’t do Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.

Zari29 · 20/06/2021 15:21

Instead of being miffed, maybe have a little think as to why this could be? Hmm. I really wish schools do away with this stuff. There will always be at least one child who is going to feel horrible about this. These occasions should be kept out of school. A school close to me had a huge superhero dad drop off event - it was so awful, so many kids upset their dad couldn't wear a mask and do drop offs.

Deadleaf29 · 20/06/2021 15:21

No cards for anything at my children’s school, above reception class age anyway. Other priorities for the time and craft resources, plus several children have either been bereaved, live apart from their father, in one case have two mothers and no father…

Bluntly - if you want your child’s father to get a card, you make it with the child/buy one. Your job. Schools already deal with actual education, providing food vouchers, “family support” in a million and one ways ranging from parenting support to support with debt and applying for benefits, providing uniform to families that can’t afford it, sex ed, healthy eating, healthy dental habits, friendship issues, bullying, mental health problems… do we really need to add “making cards for parents” to that list?

VickyEadieofThigh · 20/06/2021 15:22

My best friend at primary school - her Dad died when we were 8. I'm VERY pleased there was none of this going on at schools when I was a child because she would have been in bits.

Charlieiscool · 20/06/2021 15:22

Schools shouldn’t do Father’s Day or Mother’s Day cards. It’s so horribly insensitive for those that have lost a parent. Saying theirs can be for ‘a special person’ is emphasising their loss. It’s horrible and selfish of those that like it.

BiscoffAddict · 20/06/2021 15:23

It will be because a lot of children don’t have any kind of relationship with their father and it can be very upsetting for them. I can still remember seeing a little girl upset because she ‘didn’t have a Dad’ but was still expected to make a Fathers Day card and was told dismissively by the class teacher to ‘ just to Grandad or another male relative instead’.