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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit miffed that dc school did no cards for Father's day

286 replies

Glitteranddirt21 · 20/06/2021 14:59

Just wonder if anyone's dc school do anything for Father's day. The school do a mother's day shop where for a non school uniform day they take in a small gift that they then select from a shop later and wrap for us and always get a lovely card made for Mothers day but realised today that they never do anything for Father's day not even a card.

OP posts:
cocoloco987 · 20/06/2021 15:46

I think it's sad - if some people don't have fathers then they can make another card for their mum surely? I felt sorry for DH that he had kind of been forgotten about.

This comment is so ridiculous it's actually made me laugh out loud 😆

singsingbluesilver · 20/06/2021 15:48

Why on earth is it the school's responsibility to make sure dads have a Father's Day card? Why would you assume that the school has a responsibility to take care of it? As a pp has already noted the list of things schools are being expected to do which at one time it could be reasonably assumed that parents would do is astonishing.

If you cannot be bothered to, you know, ask your child if they have done anything for Father's Day, or made the effort yourself to go out with them and buy a card then please don't push the blame back onto your child's teacher. They have more than enough on their plate than to do something any parent could easily do for themselves.

khakiandcoral · 20/06/2021 15:48

@JewelGarden

Does anyone really care about Father's Day? Do fathers really want a card and all that Confused
Just as much as mothers care about Mother's Day presumably! Confused
Rosesareyellow · 20/06/2021 15:49

Our school has a lot of absent fathers. We avoid.

Snoken · 20/06/2021 15:51

My dc have a father in their/our lives, but one year when DD’s class was making cards for father’s day my DD broke down in tears simply because her DF had been away for 5 weeks for work and she was missing him. I can imagine it would be 1000 times harder if your dad was never around.

brittleheadgirl · 20/06/2021 15:54

@Glitteranddirt21
I've come back because I've been thinking about your 'family unit' comment and how awful you sound.
You do know that a 'family unit' isn't just mum, dad and 2.4 kids?
A family unit can be literally any combination of adults and children, a single parent family, same sex couple family etc are all as much of a family unit as yours op.

Please educate yourself, before your blinkered, narrow minded attitude is passed onto your own dc.

brittleheadgirl · 20/06/2021 15:56

@cocoloco987

I think it's sad - if some people don't have fathers then they can make another card for their mum surely? I felt sorry for DH that he had kind of been forgotten about.

This comment is so ridiculous it's actually made me laugh out loud 😆

Sure, the little girl at my school, who lost her father because he committed suicide would definitely enjoy that Hmm Ffs, some people really can't see beyond the end of their own nose can they?
GintyMcGinty · 20/06/2021 15:57

My kids haven't done mothers or Father's Day cards since nursery.

VickyEadieofThigh · 20/06/2021 15:57

@khakiandcoral

Either you do both ,or you do neither.

It's not acceptable to pick one! I would complain to the school on that basis.

I was going to say make a "Christmas card" instead, but that someone will find offence in there too.

"Complain to the school..."

Jeez.

HaveringWavering · 20/06/2021 15:58

The school do a mother's day shop where for a non school uniform day they take in a small gift that they then select from a shop later and wrap for us

I’ve read this about 5 times now and still cannot work out what it means! What has school uniform guy to do with Mother’s Day? People buy gifts and the school sells them back to you? Whaaat? My brain hurts.*

khakiandcoral · 20/06/2021 15:59

VickyEadieofThigh

you'll find you get better results when contacting your school directly than complaining on an internet forum. Shocking I know...

cocoloco987 · 20/06/2021 16:01

I’ve read this about 5 times now and still cannot work out what it means! What has school uniform guy to do with Mother’s Day? People buy gifts and the school sells them back to you? Whaaat? My brain hurts.*

I THINK it's a trade thing. Instead of paying the £1 for non uniform day they bring in a small gift, then go to pick something for their mum from the brought in gifts? Ours do similar for a fundraiser where they do pay £1 (for a filled jar) to take it home

VickyEadieofThigh · 20/06/2021 16:01

@khakiandcoral

VickyEadieofThigh

you'll find you get better results when contacting your school directly than complaining on an internet forum. Shocking I know...

Anyone "complaining" to a school about their child not making a father's day card in class needs to - as people say on here - give their head a wobble.
Gingersay · 20/06/2021 16:02

Every time my youngest dd has to make a card for a special person she makes a card for her sister. I don't know whether to feel proud or slightly miffed!!

HaveYouMetMyMateStanley · 20/06/2021 16:02

I don't think anyone thinks it is the schools responsibility but if you do it for the mums a few months earlier, I thought they would do it for the dads too. They have done it every other year so I had no reason to think they wouldn't this year. We were always going to do other stuff but I assumed the card was covered.

I grew up in a school where there were a lot of single parent families (which DDs school isn't) and we always did a card for either the mother again or more common, the grandparents as thats who raised them.

Also, some of you are just rude.

Sweak · 20/06/2021 16:03

No one should be complaining to the school about this. If anything might be an idea to highlight mother's Day is hard for many children too! But no need to put in a complaint.

I really can't understand the culture we've developed in this country where so much falls down to schools to do.

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 20/06/2021 16:03

My daughter didn’t make anything for either Mother’s Day or Father’s Day at nursery.
I’ll be honest, I was looking to my first school made Mother’s Day card but I’ll survive.

deathbypostitnote · 20/06/2021 16:04

I have found schools doing cards for either parent horrendously difficult for children who don't have that parent. It's hard enough.

Some things are up to the family to provide, not the school. Providing parents with cards isn't within their responsibilities.

I don't know why it couldn't occur to you that many children are without active fathers in their lives. It seems very obvious to me.

Comedycook · 20/06/2021 16:05

So many children don't have any contact for whatever reason with their mum or dad....either due to death, abandonment, perhaps in prison, or the children are in care. Some children are born to same sex couples or single women who used a donor. I think it's just better if schools ignore mother/fathers day altogether. It's a minefield and can cause a lot of upset.

AnoDeLosMuertos · 20/06/2021 16:05

@LoopTheLoops

I’m thrilled that my kids school didn’t do Father’s Day cards, their father is absent, what do you suggest for kids whose fathers are absent having to sit their and watch other kids make Father’s Day cards? I was so relieved they didn’t do it
But why should kids with dads not have the chance to do it?
mam0918 · 20/06/2021 16:06

I primary school they did both a mothers day and fathers day dinner where we went in and had school dinner with the kids. Although it could be any female (mothers day) or male (fathers day) relative so some people took grandparents or aunts/uncles etc... it was nice to see the kids excited but the food was god awful lol.

Now my oldest is in secondary they dont do anything.

Sweak · 20/06/2021 16:06

@HaveYouMetMyMateStanley
*I grew up in a school where there were a lot of single parent families (which DDs school isn't) and we always did a card for either the mother again or more common, the grandparents as thats who raised them.

Also, some of you are just rude.*

Schools approach to these things have changed over the years, and with good reason. I'm telling you it's just another reminder you have no dad (for whatever reason that might be)

I don't think people have been rude. They are explaining why a substitute card is no better. Yes some schools still do it, bit in my view it's a bad idea.

The card was for you to sort out. And I agree they shouldn't mother's Day but not father's day. No neither and leave it to families to sort themselves

Sweak · 20/06/2021 16:07

But why should kids with dads not have the chance to do it?

Because they can do it at home. And they can do another learning task which is inclusive at school

Zari29 · 20/06/2021 16:07

But why should kids with dads not have the chance to do it?

FFS. There really is no explaining to some people.

VickyEadieofThigh · 20/06/2021 16:08

@mam0918

I primary school they did both a mothers day and fathers day dinner where we went in and had school dinner with the kids. Although it could be any female (mothers day) or male (fathers day) relative so some people took grandparents or aunts/uncles etc... it was nice to see the kids excited but the food was god awful lol.

Now my oldest is in secondary they dont do anything.

I can only imagine the reaction from secondary school kids if this notion was suggested at their schools.
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