To be a bit miffed that dc school did no cards for Father's day

[Glitteranddirt21]

Just wonder if anyone's dc school do anything for Father's day. The school do a mother's day shop where for a non school uniform day they take in a small gift that they then select from a shop later and wrap for us and always get a lovely card made for Mothers day but realised today that they never do anything for Father's day not even a card.

DH teaches primary and just forgot as they're so busy with other stuff at the moment

YABVU.

My child's class didn't thank god! My daughter no longer has a father and she'd be extremely upset if they did this

Even if 90% of the kids in the class come from stable family units, the fact that 10% of the children who don’t might be upset is reason enough not to do it.
I know of children whose father is in prison, others who have no contact with their father, others whose father has died and it goes on and on. The day is not always a happy one for many children and school shouldn’t have to navigate that. It should be celebrated in individual homes, in your own way that is right for your family.

They should either do Mother’s and Father’s Day or neither in my opinion.

How about making a card for someone the child loves if they don’t have a mummy or daddy?
Sadly death is going to touch all of us at some point and yes many children have to experience loss all too early in their lives but that shouldn’t mean that everyone else should miss out on celebrating their own parents. Compromise is the answer.
When I was seven I lost both my grandads and my uncle within the space of six days but I wouldn’t have expected other children to have to curtail any activities for my sake.
As I say, compromise.

My DDs always used to do Father's day cards and there was a girl in my oldest DDs class who always cried (her dad was in prison so she never saw him). I used to feel sorry for her.
The school said she could just make a card for someone special but I don't know why they didn't just say that in the first place.

As it’s already been said not everyone has a father figure Helendee and just highlights that to a kid seeing all their class writing one to their dads, but we mustn’t upset those children who have a dad in their life

@ResIpsaLoquiturInterAlia

We should celebrate Father’s Day and Mother’s Day as it is respectful and sets an example for the next generations to follow.

As I said up thread we were all created by a mother and father, even those that have blended family structures or play identity gender politics adopted same sex couples etc and other diversity of new legally recognised relationships structures.

What world do we live in if society today can not celebrate Father’s Day or Mother’s Day (or any other day eg LGBT+etc) openly and freely in a free open society because we have to pander to a minority sensitive types.

Yes I recognise those poor children with family members in prison (perhaps not killers, convicted paedophiles and rapists so much!) or those that do not know who their biological fathers are or from other challenging dysfunctional or war zone refugees backgrounds - may be unduly disproportionally impacted but they still need to respect fathers and mothers. What would that little boy or girl become when he or she becomes a parent? What is the expectation? There are of course sensitivities in a number of limited circumstances beyond one’s control but I urge mums here to think about what society you want today and for tomorrow’s generations. Not everyone is from a non nuclear family. Respect should be for all whether you have parents or not. New woke cancel culture especially with traditions enjoyed by successive generations is now a part of diversity but formerly the norm. Diversity means recognition and respect for all including the majority or minority.

Today is Happy Farther’s Day so Happy Father’s Day father with pride! Those who take offence or feel discriminated should have alternative appropriate arrangements as to not discriminate against those who want to celebrate a natural phenomena and being grateful to their fit for purpose caring and loving father. Today is for positive celebrating not highlighting issues in a negative manner. Let’s be respectful and if necessary agree to disagree. Seemingly this is the new Brexit, vaccination division and polarisation. Why unnecessarily divide when we can unite and be grateful for how we arrived on Earth! Compassion should be for all for the many and the few.

.....that is the longest, best-punctuated, most closely-argued and most passionately-expressed 'totally missing the point' post I have ever seen in my life. It ought to get some kind of award. Maybe an MN umbrella, or an MN hoodie. Something that goes over your head.

I had this thought end of last week but only because school did mothers day things. I thought much like responders so as not to cause upset but then I do think neither mothers day or fathers day should be done

This isnt something I would expect kids to do at school at all. Ditto mothers day tbh (not beyond the age of eg 7) Totally something maybe mentioned at school (especially the history of Mothering Sunday) but for kids to do at home encouraged by other family members. Or not done at all (as in my home)

Its not something we ever did when I was at school in the 80s.

"It ought to get some kind of award. Maybe an MN umbrella, or an MN hoodie. Something that goes over your head."

😂😂😂😂

We do Mother's Day as we are a church school and Mothering Sunday is a church festival. Father's Day is much more awkward as well, certainly in my school (no father, absent father in another country, father in prison to name but a few)

We do Mother's Day as we are a church school and Mothering Sunday is a church festival.

But do you celebrate their mother church or do you transfer it to the secular celebration of human mothers?

If the schools wanted to spectacularly foul it up, they could always take a leaf out of the Big Book of Pointless of the companies who send an email (presumably hoping to identify those for whom it could be triggering) reminding you that it's Fathers' Day soon and asking if you want to opt out of receiving emails from them reminding you that it's Fathers' Day soon....

I work in a nursery we made fathers day cards, but we also talked about how it doesn't have to be just for 'daddies' it might be an uncle, a brother, a grandad etc as we do the same on mothers day. Everybody makes a card and then the children decide who it goes to although I understand this actually may be harder for older children who have more understanding. Perhaps they could have just offered an option for those who wanted to make a card and those who didn't could do something else instead? I do feel its a tricky area for schools but if they do mothers day cards (and not every child see's their mother!) then they should try to make some effort for fathers day.

Honestly it's because mothers day is towards the end of term when everyone is exhausted and need something arty to do.
Father's day comes in a very busy term when we're doing sports day, transition days etc so less time to do these nice things.

@inpixiehollow

I work in a nursery we made fathers day cards, but we also talked about how it doesn't have to be just for 'daddies' it might be an uncle, a brother, a grandad etc as we do the same on mothers day. Everybody makes a card and then the children decide who it goes to although I understand this actually may be harder for older children who have more understanding. Perhaps they could have just offered an option for those who wanted to make a card and those who didn't could do something else instead? I do feel its a tricky area for schools but if they do mothers day cards (and not every child see's their mother!) then they should try to make some effort for fathers day.

If you work in a nursery, you would presumably know that the vast number of absent parents are Dads!

I'm also appalled at your 'alternative provision' idea. How on earth would that work with very young child?
Would you steer the fatherless children away from the card making area and encourage them to go elsewhere.
Or ask them if making a card is too upsetting and if so, whip out your alternative?
Honestly, I despair!!!

@Helendee

How about making a card for someone the child loves if they don’t have a mummy or daddy? Sadly death is going to touch all of us at some point and yes many children have to experience loss all too early in their lives but that shouldn’t mean that everyone else should miss out on celebrating their own parents. Compromise is the answer. When I was seven I lost both my grandads and my uncle within the space of six days but I wouldn’t have expected other children to have to curtail any activities for my sake. As I say, compromise.

They weren't one of your parents.

The lack of empathy on this thread is shocking.

I had to deal with it as a young adult from people in real life, but to expect children to continually have it rubbed in their faces is just pure nastiness from adults.

My kids school does nothing for either. What’s stopping you making them at home? Teachers have enough on their plates already

@RedMarauder

I don’t understand your anger at my post, I thought it was empathic to be honest. I was trying to suggest a way in which no child would feel left out. Sorry if it didn’t come across that way.

@Helendee if you don't understand why losing a parent is different from losing an uncle/aunt or grandparent then I can't help you.

And the attitude of some posters on this thread illustrates some of the nastiness I faced as a young adult after having lost my own parents. Luckily for me I had two school friends who unfortunately had lost one or both their parents as primary age children, who warned me about some adults nastiness if you mention it.

@RedMarauder
Actually I think you’re being unpleasant now, I didn’t think it was Top Trumps on who is allowed to grieve more and if you can’t see how traumatic it was to lose three much loved family members within a week then I’m washing my time here.

@LoopTheLoops

Which is why I suggested all kids make a card for someone they care about and yes why should children with dads not be able to make them cards?
No one needs to be left out.
My four children lost their dad when they were little but it never occurred to me to ask the teachers to ban all the other kids dads from making them cards. Life isn’t like that.

My sons school made card is sitting here offending me right now. Their dad has ditched any attempt to see him lately.
My son is so excited to give it to him. Fucking card can do one