To be a bit miffed that dc school did no cards for Father's day

[Glitteranddirt21]

Just wonder if anyone's dc school do anything for Father's day. The school do a mother's day shop where for a non school uniform day they take in a small gift that they then select from a shop later and wrap for us and always get a lovely card made for Mothers day but realised today that they never do anything for Father's day not even a card.

[lazylinguist]

Just to put it out there in case I am misunderstood in my earlier up thread posts.

I stand by what I posted.

It is not the actual card or in class school activity but all about the significance and recognition of today as Father’s Day and other significant days to celebrate including Mother’s Day and indeed also other new development in legally recognised alternative adult lifestyles.

The card is in itself is of no massive significance as surely for a very child it is just another card, be it for father, mother, Christmas, new year, Easter, friend’s birthday or thank you card!

MumsNet is seemingly the online hub where the entitlement exceptionalism is norm ie pandering to that unique rare minority demographic and take away the feelings and enjoyment by the majority. So sure it is not ideal for that one child with no father or criminal father etc to be instructed to make a card or mark the day but what about everyone else. Do all their feelings don’t count. It’s not the card or arts and craft session it is cancel culture that is insensitive to the majority. The few children with unique circumstances (beyond their control) should be given special treatment to enjoy other things and not be a reason for cancel culture preventing others from what is right for them the majority of the class. Perhaps grandfather card alternatives if appropriate? Or if absolutely politically gender undefined a parents day card! Waiting for posters to now unnecessarily argue they never had a or two parents so how about grandpa or grandparent(s) card instead? This should be a happy celebration day not a day to bring up a troubled past. You surely want your child today to be a responsible and respectful parent tomorrow!?

What a lot of pompous twaddle. Schools have enough to do (and enough necessary work on which to spend their stationery budgets) without having to be the upholders of Hallmark days which not everyone actually considers a big deal, and which are potentially very tricky for some children. Not because they are 'snowflakes' or necessarily because they are the product of atypical family set-ups (about which you can clearly barely conceal your sneer), but because of genuinely traumatic or difficult home lives. Sadly this does not only apply to a few children.

To claim that schools need to 'show respect' by getting involved in what should be a family's own choice about how they deal with family events is utter nonsense. As is claiming that a child needs to be made to make a Mother's Day or Father's Day card at school in order to turn out as a 'respectful parent'. Also, I don't think you apear to know what 'cancel culture' means.

Definition: "Cancel culture or call-out culture is a modern form of ostracism in which someone is thrust out of social or professional circles – whether it be online, on social media, or in person."

It doesn't mean cancelling an activity because it might upset people.

[Helendee]

@lazylinguist

I totally agree.

[sanityisamyth]

Slightly different but I was cross with our Beavers' group (of which I'm an assistant leader!) on Father s Day. For Mother's Day, we made a craft thing for mums. We did a similar thing for Father's Day. Not a problem with that. However, the leader's adult son did a scavenger hunt on Fathers' Day which involved "go to get your dad's favourite aftershave/CD/food/drink or whatever. My son hates his father. He sees him every fortnight but knows nothing about his favourite anything. There are other children in the group who don't have Fathers in their lives. It really upset my son that he couldn't take part in the activity and others felt the same. It was very badly thought through.

Maybe your school thought that it might upset children without decent male role models (dads/step dads etc) so it wasn't worth the stress and heartache.

[LoopTheLoops]

I guess they could Helendee but my daughter is really upset about not having a father so I would have had lots of tears after that as she’s 10 and well aware it’s Father’s Day so wouldn’t buy the whole “someone special” especially with most of the class making it for their fathers, tbh I would rather have her off on that day than her be upset.

[N0H0TR00ms]

Some people don't have a father or father figure in their lives
Perhaps that is the reason ?

[Helendee]

@LoopTheLoops

I totally get that and am sorry for your family loss. I think school isn’t the place for making cards anyway.
However it’s a shame in my opinion that Father’s
Day is treated as less important than Mother’s Day.

[lazylinguist]

However it’s a shame in my opinion that Father’s Day is treated as less important than Mother’s Day.

I guess it's because, both historically and currently, parenting falls predominantly to mothers. So Mother's Day is often seen as an opportunity to thank mothers for all the active mothering they do, rather than only a time to say "I love you, mum". Obviously that doesn't mean there aren't lots of fathers who do plenty of the day-to-day parenting tasks, but they are probably still in a minority tbh. In my house growing up, my father actively played down Father’s Day but encouraged us to make an effort for Mother's Day, because he was perfectly aware (and appreciative) of how much more our DM directly did for us (and him!).

[DrCoconut]

I was that bereaved child. Empathy didn't exist in the 80s and I had to make cards on Father's Day. I'm so glad people are more sensitive now. My DCs school doesn't take part in activities that can't be made inclusive.

[SaltAndVinegarSandwiches]

Bloody hell, if people are so bothered why not arrange a card at home. How on earth is it the school's job?

[Comedycook]

@DrCoconut

I was that bereaved child. Empathy didn't exist in the 80s and I had to make cards on Father's Day. I'm so glad people are more sensitive now. My DCs school doesn't take part in activities that can't be made inclusive.

Child of the eighties here...a girl in our class lost her mum when she was 8...that year we still made mother's Day cards at school. Even as a child I was astonished that they'd be so cruel

[LoopTheLoops]

metro.co.uk/2021/06/20/mum-furious-after-nursery-changes-fathers-day-to-specials-day-14801736/?ito=facebook%7Csocial%7Cmetroukfacebook&fbclid=IwAR0JQGepk8Jp9aFZIrfEAJrvBS7eUVNvpOZMc95xxUOqE9rntyGwQvxJnR4


Well there you go! You can’t win and just goes to show changing it to “someone special” will upset people as well. Best kept out of schools imo (including Mother’s Day) as what ever you do someone will be unhappy