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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be a bit miffed that dc school did no cards for Father's day

286 replies

Glitteranddirt21 · 20/06/2021 14:59

Just wonder if anyone's dc school do anything for Father's day. The school do a mother's day shop where for a non school uniform day they take in a small gift that they then select from a shop later and wrap for us and always get a lovely card made for Mothers day but realised today that they never do anything for Father's day not even a card.

OP posts:
singsingbluesilver · 20/06/2021 16:08

Haveyoumet - has it occurred to you that there may be a very good reason why the school didn't make cards? Maybe a child in the school has just lost their dad, maybe they are going through a tricky breakup? Maybe the school decided that if they spent time making cards then a parent might complain that school time was not being used to 'catch up on time off lost due to covid.

I don't think anyone has been rude. I was very surprised at your original post though. Schools have to take into account the needs of all the children in their care. Sorting out basic stuff like gift cards is really not down to them.

brittleheadgirl · 20/06/2021 16:08

@khakiandcoral

VickyEadieofThigh

you'll find you get better results when contacting your school directly than complaining on an internet forum. Shocking I know...

Good luck with that, although you'll provide school with a well needed laugh when news of your 'complaint' spreads Grin
khakiandcoral · 20/06/2021 16:08

Anyone "complaining" to a school about their child not making a father's day card in class needs to - as people say on here - give their head a wobble.

Anyone who think it's ok to ignore fathers/or mothers should give their head a wobble.

AnoDeLosMuertos · 20/06/2021 16:10

We know that bad things happen in this world, but wanting our own kids to acknowledge their fathers is not a bad thing. Misery really loves company doesn’t it!

brittleheadgirl · 20/06/2021 16:10

@khakiandcoral

Anyone "complaining" to a school about their child not making a father's day card in class needs to - as people say on here - give their head a wobble.

Anyone who think it's ok to ignore fathers/or mothers should give their head a wobble.

What planet are you on? Do you honestly think it's schools responsibility to make cards for your husbands/wives? Why not send us a list of birthdays, shall we start making cards for siblings, grandmas etc too? Or could you maybe just go to the shop and buy cards yourself?
Comedycook · 20/06/2021 16:10

But why should kids with dads not have the chance to do it?

Because the benefits gained by making a fathers day card for those children does not outweigh the upset caused to the children who don't have a dad. Anyway, they do have a chance to make a card....at home.

PracticingPerson · 20/06/2021 16:11

It is not school's job to do this, this is not educational. I would rather they didn't do mother's day either.

It is also upsetting for children where there is an absent father, a deceased father or in some cases divorced parents.

So I think YABU.

ResIpsaLoquiturInterAlia · 20/06/2021 16:11

@Charlieiscool

Schools shouldn’t do Father’s Day or Mother’s Day cards. It’s so horribly insensitive for those that have lost a parent. Saying theirs can be for ‘a special person’ is emphasising their loss. It’s horrible and selfish of those that like it.
Would it not be an appropriate opportunity to remember those that have sadly passed due to Covid or any other reason too. One must remember that we all arrived on this planet because of our parents irrespective of new medical scientific developments or blended families and new age gender identity politics wokeness etc. So it matter not if your name is Meg, Harry or Sally everyone has a dad whether with them or not. Been kind and respectful to those that have created you. And of course special condolences for those not here today. We all come and go so make the most of the limited time whilst here! Happy Father’s Day!
khakiandcoral · 20/06/2021 16:12

brittleheadgirl

When you finish laughing, you might want to educate yourself and loose that dated and sexist attitude.

brittleheadgirl · 20/06/2021 16:12

@AnoDeLosMuertos

We know that bad things happen in this world, but wanting our own kids to acknowledge their fathers is not a bad thing. Misery really loves company doesn’t it!
Did I miss the part where someone has suggesting banning Father's Day? It's still a 'thing' go to M&S, Asda, wherever and you'll find everything you need to celebrate your dcs Dad.
Sweak · 20/06/2021 16:13

know that bad things happen in this world, but wanting our own kids to acknowledge their fathers is not a bad thing. Misery really loves company doesn’t it!
@AnoDeLosMuertos

Yes, acknowledge it at home. This isn't the schools responsibility anyway. Your post lacks any compassion

brittleheadgirl · 20/06/2021 16:13

@khakiandcoral

brittleheadgirl

When you finish laughing, you might want to educate yourself and loose that dated and sexist attitude.

Sexist? Hmm And it's 'lose'
khakiandcoral · 20/06/2021 16:14

brittleheadgirl

either you do a "parent/carer" card thing, or you don't do any.

How hard is it to understand? Making none is fine, ONLY celebrating Mother's Day is not acceptable.

No wonder people still complain that work, school, society assume that the main carer is the mother, that the only one responsible for childcare and all children issues is the mother.

It's 2021, can't we move forward a bit?

Sweak · 20/06/2021 16:15

@ResIpsaLoquiturInterAlia
Would it not be an appropriate opportunity to remember those that have sadly passed due to Covid or any other reason too. One must remember that we all arrived on this planet because of our parents irrespective of new medical scientific developments or blended families and new age gender identity politics wokeness etc. So it matter not if your name is Meg, Harry or Sally everyone has a dad whether with them or not. Been kind and respectful to those that have created you. And of course special condolences for those not here today. We all come and go so make the most of the limited time whilst here! Happy Father’s Day!

You've obviously never worked with children who have lost a parent. Totally inappropriate in a whole class setting to make a father's Day card in memory of a parent who has just died. You have no idea the distress this may cause.

Comedycook · 20/06/2021 16:16

We know that bad things happen in this world, but wanting our own kids to acknowledge their fathers is not a bad thing. Misery really loves company doesn’t it!

What a shocking lack of empathy to children who may really be suffering.

In my dcs classes combined, three children have a father who has died, one has a father in prison, one is in foster care and several others have divorced parents and they no longer have any contact with their dads. One has lost their mother too. Both dh and I will happily forgo a handmade card made at school in order to protect these children's feelings.

LoopTheLoops · 20/06/2021 16:16

But why should kids with dads not have the chance to do it?

They can, at home.

Kanaloa · 20/06/2021 16:16

Did they definitely not do it? My dd class had a table where they could make cards if they wanted but didn’t have to, maybe your child forgot? Or forgot the card at school. Bit weird if they do a lot for Mother’s Day and nothing for fathers but I suppose you don’t know if there is a child in class whose dad passed away recently or something like that.

khakiandcoral · 20/06/2021 16:17

Both dh and I will happily forgo a handmade card made at school in order to protect these children's feelings.

Agreed

It's the celebrating ONE ONLY the problem. Denying fathers is so outdated and narrow-minded.

OpalBerry · 20/06/2021 16:17

Yes, obviously it's much more heartbreaking for a dad not to get a school made card than it is for a kid whose lost a dad to have it rubbed in by those around them making cards for their dad while they make one for a substitute. Confused

SimonJT · 20/06/2021 16:17

@AnoDeLosMuertos They can make one at home, my son wanted to make one so he did it with my husband, it is not schools responsibility.

Sweak · 20/06/2021 16:17

@ResIpsaLoquiturInterAlia also my father may have created me but he had little to do with my up bringing. Do I respect him? No.

Really insulting to suggest kids make cards for their parents regardless of whether they have actually bothered with them

CandyLeBonBon · 20/06/2021 16:18

@AnoDeLosMuertos

We know that bad things happen in this world, but wanting our own kids to acknowledge their fathers is not a bad thing. Misery really loves company doesn’t it!
Well surely if you want your child's father acknowledging, that really rather your job, no?
deathbypostitnote · 20/06/2021 16:18

AnoDeLosMuertos

Surely you can give them the chance to do it at home, unless taking responsibility is in as short supply as empathy in your home?

LoopTheLoops · 20/06/2021 16:19

When my daughter first got a male teacher she had always had females before, she use to cry her eyes out constantly and beg me for a dad, beg me to marry her teacher so she can have a dad like all the other children, I would come to school to pick her up and she would be in floods of tears because she doesn’t have a dad, she use to call all the male teachers in school “school dad” she’s autistic, I can’t believe how insensitive some people are to children who are growing up without a father and how upsetting that can be! Just be thankful you have a lovely husband and your children have a dad and make cards at home.

NDSandG · 20/06/2021 16:19

A wise decision by the school. Father’s Day stuff can happen at home.
I remember some girl in my class in primary school asking me why I was making a Father’s Day card when I didn’t have a daddy. That was about 35 yrs ago and still remember it clearly.