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Original poster

Won't let me on his phone.

194 replies

Chanedname4this · 17/06/2021 19:40

Just wanted some advice to see if I am over reacting or not. This week a situation came up where my phone ran out of battery and I asked my partner of 3 years if I could use his. It wasn't for anything import..just to mindlessly browse the Internet as I was with him as he and his friend did their hobby. He flat out refused. I wouldn't have looked through his phone but this has left me feeling a bit odd...and that maybe he has something to hide? Even his friend said just let her go on your phone because I feel bad we have dragged her along and she has nothing to do. But he refused . I just find it odd that he was do against it. He has never given me a reason not to trust him but right now I'm wonder if he could be hiding something.

OP posts:
Speakuptomakeyourselfheard · 17/06/2021 19:47

How odd! It does rather sound like he's hiding something OP, did you ask him why?

lunar1 · 17/06/2021 19:50

I wouldn't let anyone mindlessly browse the internet on my phone. You end up with ads for random things, your newsfeed fills up with things you aren't interested in. I wouldn't mind if it was to check something quickly or make a call.

AnneLovesGilbert · 17/06/2021 19:50

Bit odd. Though I’ve never asked to borrow someone’s phone unless I needed to make an urgent phone call.

Why were you dragged along to watch them playing? Did you know you wouldn’t be involved and would be bored?

Welikebeingcosy · 17/06/2021 19:56

I would think he's either hiding something or he is super precious about his phone or battery, either way you've lost some trust here and you might want to talk to him about it.

InFiveMins · 17/06/2021 19:56

Yes it's odd. He's got something on there he doesn't want you to see.

Sooodone · 17/06/2021 19:59

I wouldn’t want someone browsing on my phone, it can drain the battery pretty quickly. Maybe he was worried about that.

Maybe83 · 17/06/2021 19:59

I wouldn't let DH just use my phone and he wouldn't let me. For a quick phone call yeah but not just to sit on the Internet.

A phone now contains so much personal information. I have notes, diary etc. Also I get regular messages from friends and family that might not actually be any of DH business and he would see if it came through when he was using it.

Deereamer · 17/06/2021 20:02

Maybe another woman, maybe a porn or gambling habit, or maybe he’s been internet shopping for your birthday. It could be anything. Is there any other signs or clues?

liloandstench · 17/06/2021 20:05

I wouldn't want my OH on my phone. I don't know what tabs are up. What embarrassing pics I have of myself. They may be totally normal things but I just don't want anyone on there. I'd hand it over for a specific task though.

On the other hand, it could be a big deal. My partner lets me use his phone as mine's broken. He is completely open with it. And it makes me feel secure.

Although I sound like a hypocrite, I think it would bother me if he flat out refused without a simple reason. Or even if you were sitting next to him or something. No one here can tell you if he's up to no good, it could just be his privacy.

Original poster
Chanedname4this · 17/06/2021 20:05

There's literally no reason for me not to trust him other than this. I do understand why people wouldn't let their parents go on their phone for various reasons but I would not have gone through his phone. Just looked on mumsnet or YouTube. I can't stop thinking now that maybe he is messaging other women

OP posts:
DeflatedGinDrinker · 17/06/2021 20:10

If he wasn't hiding anything he would have let you. It's not difficult to understand.

Freckers · 17/06/2021 20:11

@DeflatedGinDrinker

If he wasn't hiding anything he would have let you. It's not difficult to understand.
Yet numerous PP's upthread have given reasons why they wouldn't
ExhaustedGrinch · 17/06/2021 20:12

I wouldn't like my partner to have my phone purely because I have Whatsapps/Texts/FB Messages from friends and family who are discussing personal issues with me, I've nothing to hide myself but it would be wrong of me not to respect their privacy by allowing someone to read their messages.

coco123456789 · 17/06/2021 20:15

I don’t want anyone else looking at my phone. I have messages from friends and family which are my business and might be something someone had confided in me. A phone is like someone’s diary. I think it’s different to borrowing someone’s laptop.

WildflowerWildfire · 17/06/2021 20:15

I wouldn’t let my boyfriend look at my phone just for browsing purposes. I like to keep what I do on here private, even though I have absolutely nothing to hide. He knows my passcode but I highly doubt he’s ever checked. Maybe he has 🤷🏻‍♀️.

slashlover · 17/06/2021 20:21

@Chanedname4this

There's literally no reason for me not to trust him other than this. I do understand why people wouldn't let their parents go on their phone for various reasons but I would not have gone through his phone. Just looked on mumsnet or YouTube. I can't stop thinking now that maybe he is messaging other women
Someone else browsing on youtube messes up the recommended videos in the sidebar.
IHaveBrilloHair · 17/06/2021 20:23

I wouldn't let anyone do that on my phone either.
A quick call/text, fine, browsing on it, no.

PurpleyBlue · 17/06/2021 20:24

Do you make the screen all smeary?

PurpleyBlue · 17/06/2021 20:25

I'd let someone make a call/text

HavelockVetinari · 17/06/2021 20:28

I'm astonished that so many PPs would have a problem with their OH using their phone. Totally normal if you're not living together or living together but not totally committed etc., but pretty bizarre if you're married!

ilovesooty · 17/06/2021 20:31

I wouldn't let anyone else use my phone for browsing either.
Why did you have to go to their 'hobby' anyway?
Perhaps you could also buy a power bank so you can recharge your phone when away from home?

eandz13 · 17/06/2021 20:32

It's either he didn't want you going on it because he wanted you to be socially involved in whatever it was you were all up to, or he's possibly nervous about what you'll see on there. My DP would just hand his over and tell me not to put anything silly on his social media. I can't think of a reason I wouldn't just hand mine over either?

ilovesooty · 17/06/2021 20:33

@HavelockVetinari

I'm astonished that so many PPs would have a problem with their OH using their phone. Totally normal if you're not living together or living together but not totally committed etc., but pretty bizarre if you're married!
Why is it bizarre if you live together? Some people feel their phones are private.
topwings · 17/06/2021 20:33

I don't watch porn, I don't have a gambling habit and am not messaging other men. I still wouldn't like my DH using my phone though.

Morgan12 · 17/06/2021 20:34

It's because you would see his porn history

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