Iv been shamed online for being a shouty mum

[WaitroseAldi]

I’m so upset.

So I’m a shouty mum, always have been and my children are absolutely fine. They are 13,11 and 5.

I don’t always shout, but it’s when Iv asked numerous times to do something or not.

There is a woman who lives behind me, she has bipolar and switches all the time, one min she’s your friend next she’s horrible.

I put a post on a local group about my cat being attacked and coming home with a cut ear. She started being rude about how cats fight and it’s nature. She then put this.

I’m so embarrassed and upset. We have had to listen to her numerous times fighting with her ex’s, police being called, her having fights with another local woman.

Im so upset and ashamed. 😔 my kids say I don’t shout much, especially since Iv started new medication over a year ago for my BPD.

One time me and dh were having a heated discussion lol and she actually walked in my house to see what was wrong. we Never argue but wtf.

If you can be heard by someone living in the house behind you, that's pretty bloody bad...

If you shout then that’s concerning and they have a point! If you don’t like that cats fight then keep yours in🤷‍♀️

It's better not to comment much on those community pages. I don't. There's always some mad person who'll get offended or have a go.

Ask the moderators to delete it and comment only when it's needed. There was no point in posting about your cat fighting really. Nobody can do anything about it.

We live in new builds, I can literally see into her kitchen. I can hear when she has conversations in her garden. We keep the doors open all the time 🙈

I think all parents shout. I know I do when I’ve asked my children to put their shoes in 574849485 times. But I can’t say any of my neighbours have heard me (or perhaps they’re too polite to say). Is this recent? As in you’ve been in the garden? Or she’s heard you in the deep dark depths of winter with all your windows etc shut?

I took my kid to a swimming lesson on the weekend and there was a mum barking at her kids every 5 minutes. It was really unpleasant.

I grew up with a shouty mum and it was shit.

This is on one of those local Facebook groups???

I would contact the mods and ask them to delete her posts, presumably they break the guidelines of the group (personal attacks etc).

She sounds horrible.

Just block her, both on fb and in real life! Anyone who thinks it’s ok to walk into your house uninvited needs a very clear message.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Delete your posts and don't engage with such people.

@GoldSlipper

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Delete your posts and don't engage with such people.

Eh? She needs to stop shouting, not just stop feeling "inferior" about it.

I don't quite understand but if you're shouting at your children so loudly that people are posting about it on Facebook I'd say there's an issue

I'd hate to hear you shouting at the poor children all the time, what kind of upbringing is that for them?

I’m so upset because for years we listened to her and her ex husband arguing snd fighting, her kids used to run out the house screaming and come and ask for help from neighbours. Then when they broke up she got a new fella and the same happened again. Yet I shout to tell my kids to stop arguing lol and I’m a shit mum?!

I don’t shout all the time, and especially not since the start of last year. It’s normally just stuff like “will you stop bloody arguing” , “leave your sister alone!” “Stop fighting!” Not bloody abuse.

Have you got a thread on Parenting about this?

She's projecting her own issues. Ignore ignore ignore.

Look to your own behaviour and let everyone else worry about theirs.

@WaitroseAldi

I’m so upset because for years we listened to her and her ex husband arguing snd fighting, her kids used to run out the house screaming and come and ask for help from neighbours. Then when they broke up she got a new fella and the same happened again. Yet I shout to tell my kids to stop arguing lol and I’m a shit mum?!

I’m not sure why you’re worrying then. Clearly you’re comfortable with yourself and why / when you shout. As pp say, delete it and move on.

You might want to report your thread OP. You’ve left one of your children’s names in there.

Ignore her, I live in a terrace, I can hear our neighbours breathe from my bedroom when they’re in their garden.

No amount of bad behaviour on her part excuses the fact that you yell at your kids.

You really shouldnt be shouting like that at your kids tbh, as a kid, our neighbour was constantly shouting at those poor kids . There is no need for shouting.

I’m confused do you post on the local page apologising for shouting at your children?

@FightingtheFoo

I took my kid to a swimming lesson on the weekend and there was a mum barking at her kids every 5 minutes. It was really unpleasant.

I grew up with a shouty mum and it was shit.

Hate hearing children being shouted at as it brings back awful memories. Children can’t remove themselves from the situation and have to live with it until someone intervenes on their behalf.

“You need to learn how to nurture.”

Is she on MN?

Maybe your kids say you don't shout much because they're so used to it?

We have a shouty mum near us and it's awful to hear. The kids scream back at her swearing because she does it to them. I don't know if you're as bad as that but it's really horrible to listen to