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AIBU?

Iv been shamed online for being a shouty mum

274 replies

WaitroseAldi · 14/06/2021 22:26

I’m so upset.

So I’m a shouty mum, always have been and my children are absolutely fine. They are 13,11 and 5.

I don’t always shout, but it’s when Iv asked numerous times to do something or not.

There is a woman who lives behind me, she has bipolar and switches all the time, one min she’s your friend next she’s horrible.

I put a post on a local group about my cat being attacked and coming home with a cut ear. She started being rude about how cats fight and it’s nature. She then put this.

I’m so embarrassed and upset. We have had to listen to her numerous times fighting with her ex’s, police being called, her having fights with another local woman.

Im so upset and ashamed. 😔 my kids say I don’t shout much, especially since Iv started new medication over a year ago for my BPD.

One time me and dh were having a heated discussion lol and she actually walked in my house to see what was wrong. we Never argue but wtf.

Iv been shamed online for being a shouty mum

OP posts:

Report

MovinOnUp · 14/06/2021 22:59

There are parents that don't shout at their kids?
I don't think I believe that.
I'm a fantastic Mum, But the words "Will you just put your school shoes on" are bellowed almost daily....well Monday to Friday at least.

OP don't worry about it.

daisypond · 14/06/2021 22:59

Everyone - most people - will shout, I’m sure. But to define yourself as a shouty mum isn’t so great. And swearing at your DC makes it much worse.

BanditoShipman · 14/06/2021 22:59

Are you upset because there is truth in what she says? Delete your Facebook post and then have a think on what you could/should change for your children’s sakes

Catra · 14/06/2021 22:59

I'm the neighbour who lives next door to "shouty mum". I told her face to face it was vile to listen to. I don't want my daughter growing up thinking it's acceptable to shout at people in frustration.

malificent7 · 14/06/2021 23:00

I wish I waan't a shouty mum but as some posters have pointed out when you have asked them to do something for the umpteenth time and there is no cooperation or when they are being properly shit a tinkly laigh and pat on the head plus gentle encouragement and/ or even bribery dosnt cut it!

BackforGood · 14/06/2021 23:00

If you are "so embarrassed and upset" to have these comments 'on-line', why would you then start,, not one, but two threads, on an international on-line forum, telling everyone else about it ?

FortunesFave · 14/06/2021 23:01

@Catra

I'm the neighbour who lives next door to "shouty mum". I told her face to face it was vile to listen to. I don't want my daughter growing up thinking it's acceptable to shout at people in frustration.

Really?

What a coincidence!

tornadosequins · 14/06/2021 23:01

You're upset because you know it's wrong and you know it has a negative effect.

You've got two threads going making very nasty comments about this woman's mental health and personal life. You're not really redeeming yourself.

SecondCityShark · 14/06/2021 23:03

To me, there's a certain kind of shouty mum that is just nails down a blackboard to me. The kind that throw all of their venom and rage into their voice when they shout. Its hideous to listen to. Most irritating noise on the planet.

But if you feel you tell them off normally, then you really don't need to give it a second of thought. But if it's hit a nerve because you think it might have some truth to it, maybe work on it.

Mymapuddlington · 14/06/2021 23:03

Your reaction says a lot, nobody called you a shit mum but the fact you said that makes me think you know you shout too much.
Her bipolar has nothing to do with it, her history of shouting/screaming/whatevering has nothing to do with it.
Block her and delete your comment but I don’t think anyone will say it’s ok to shout at your kids so much that it’s an issue for your neighbour.

GreyhoundG1rl · 14/06/2021 23:04

Really? What a coincidence!
She doesn't mean the op!

tornadosequins · 14/06/2021 23:04

FYI, the names are still visible through the scribbles you've added.

FortunesFave · 14/06/2021 23:04

@Catra

I'm the neighbour who lives next door to "shouty mum". I told her face to face it was vile to listen to. I don't want my daughter growing up thinking it's acceptable to shout at people in frustration.

Are you saying you live next to OP or next to another shouty mum?

BanditoShipman · 14/06/2021 23:04

@Catra

I'm the neighbour who lives next door to "shouty mum". I told her face to face it was vile to listen to. I don't want my daughter growing up thinking it's acceptable to shout at people in frustration.

The ACTUAL neighbour or just a neighbour of a shouty mum?

FortunesFave · 14/06/2021 23:04

@GreyhoundG1rl

Really? What a coincidence!
She doesn't mean the op!

Ah! I just got that a moment ago. I'm very literal.

FortunesFave · 14/06/2021 23:05

It's because she said "I'm THE neighbour" rather than "I live next to a shouty mum"

converseandjeans · 14/06/2021 23:05

We live in new builds, I can literally see into her kitchen. I can hear when she has conversations in her garden. We keep the doors open all the time 🙈

So she probably can hear you shouting? There's no need to shout. It sounds like you've lost it when you shout.

Would you like it if someone shouted at you in your own home? It's not pleasant.

GreyhoundG1rl · 14/06/2021 23:05

@FortunesFave

It's because she said "I'm THE neighbour" rather than "I live next to a shouty mum"

Sorry, I didn't mean to be patronising.

Aqua55 · 14/06/2021 23:05

I thought Jeremy Kyle had been cancelled for a few years now?

Kickthedoorbaby · 14/06/2021 23:09

You were the author of the fb post so you can delete the whole thing. I would start by doing that. Some people won’t have seen it and I’m sure those who have will be cringing for you rather than judging

Quaggars · 14/06/2021 23:10

She walks into your house?!
I'd be wanting her to back the hell off, sounds like she has major boundary problems herself.

WorraLiberty · 14/06/2021 23:12

It's interesting that your take on this is that you've been 'shamed' online.

That you're so embarrassed and you're so upset.

My best friend had a shouty mum and honestly, her and her siblings were embarrassed to leave the house sometimes and embarrassed to have friends round.

I'm not saying you're that bad OP because no-one here knows but really, your kids can do nothing about your behaviour.

BagORats · 14/06/2021 23:12

Sounds like you've posted a few times apologising on Facebook but actually sounds more like you're looking for validation because she says you aren't getting it.

Maybe you haven't improved as much as you think you have

AnneLovesGilbert · 14/06/2021 23:13

You open by admitting you’re a shouty mum then back pedal like mad when you’re told to knock it off and now hardly ever shout

Stop bellowing at your children if you’re upsetting your neighbours. Stop bellowing at your children full stop. It’s not something to boast about “I’m a shouty mum”.

Get your story straight at the very least.

turtlesanddragons · 14/06/2021 23:14

Everybody shouts op, it takes me a lot but I shout. Kids are stressful. Especially if you have more than one and they fight and argue all day long over ridiculous things. It's enough to make anyone explode eventually.

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