Aibu not to give him the money?

[StraxDestroyerOfAll]

Me and the ex split up about a month ago, his idea, we have 2 DC’s. It’s still pretty raw for me but he’s getting on with it. Saying I need to move on and get on with my life. Yea not so easy with 2 kids.

Anyway he had asked a while back to lend a big chunk of money for something important. I was saving the whole time so I could lend it him. He would need in the next couple of weeks.

Would I be unreasonable not to give it him? I wouldn’t think that he’d be able to lend it off anyone else and it’s probably petty of me. But would you still expect a loan from someone who you walked out on?

don't give it to him. Will you be sure of getting it back? Would he do the same for you?

Don’t give him a penny!!

YANBU! Why would you lend him money!?? Has he asked again?

He should have thought of that before he dumped you, shouldn't he?

No fucking way should he a single penny of it.

Obviously don't lend him any money.
He can borrow elsewhere.

Also, is he contributing towards his kids?

Not a chance!

I wouldn't lend him it op just keep it as an emergency fund

No, it's your money and you need it now you're a single parent! A bit different if you were still a family unit. Surely he should be paying YOU in the form of child maintenance.

Not petty at all. He's being a CF if he still expects it!

No he hasn’t mentioned it. But I know he will need it. I’m almost positive that I would get it back.

And I’m not sure if he’d do it for me. I don’t think I could ask if I’m honest.

Dont give it to him. Use it to move on with your life - thats what he said you should do!

Moving on and getting on with your life means not lending money to ex partners.

No way. He can’t have it both ways and would you ever get it back? Couldn’t he have saved up the money himself? Why did you have to?

Don't lend him your money, tell him you need in gor you and the kids in order to start moving on and getting on with your lives.

Is he paying maintenance fir his children?

I don’t think I would give it. You are a lone parent now, finances will be tighter

For you

Don’t give it to him! You’re going to have more expenses now you’re on your own with your DC so no way you should be helping him out

Definitely do not give it to him because as sure as he'll he will have no intention to return it.

If he complains point out its his actions that have resulted in your change of mind.

If you do (but you really shouldnt) insist on a legal document being drawn up and signed in advance of any money changing hands - at his full expense
This should set out how much you are lending, duration of the loan, how & when it will be repaid, interest to be paid, penalties for late payment.

Do not lend the money.

Do. Not. Loan him anything.

Oh god, whatever you do, don't lend him this money!

No, as he says you need to move on and you need that money to do so

Nope, absolutely not. It's not in the slightest bit petty, it's sensible. You and the kids are your priority now.

Do you know what he needs it for?

Ok I think it’s a plain and simple do not lend him it ha ha

I just thought I was being petty as this was all arranged ages ago and he’s obviously counting on it.

He was saving himself but wouldn’t of had enough by the time it came to it.

@honeylulu

Do you know what he needs it for?

Yes I know what it’s for, something purely for him. Wouldn’t have any impact on me what so ever.

No, use it to get on with your life. He left you with 2 kids, as you said in your OP, it’s easier said than done. Your money should be to help you. He can find another woman to lend to him if he hasn’t already (sorry, I don’t mean to be flippant but it’s not an unlikely scenario).