Aibu not to give him the money?

[StraxDestroyerOfAll]

Me and the ex split up about a month ago, his idea, we have 2 DC’s. It’s still pretty raw for me but he’s getting on with it. Saying I need to move on and get on with my life. Yea not so easy with 2 kids.

Anyway he had asked a while back to lend a big chunk of money for something important. I was saving the whole time so I could lend it him. He would need in the next couple of weeks.

Would I be unreasonable not to give it him? I wouldn’t think that he’d be able to lend it off anyone else and it’s probably petty of me. But would you still expect a loan from someone who you walked out on?

Is he paying maintenance?

Weird thread, why would you even need to ask? You’ve broken up so I doubt he’s expecting it either, you said he hasn’t actually asked either

No chance! Dont be a mug

Not only are
You not being unreasonable, you would be absolutely
Stupid to lend it him. I’m baffled why you were saving to lend him money to begin with, why couldn’t he save for it?? So odd, if he can’t afford his hobby or whatever it is, tough titty, how’s he going to afford someone to live and providing for his children too without you paying half
Of everything. It doesn’t matter if ‘you had already agreed
To it’ shit happens, you also agreed to spend your life together and raise a family- things change! Keep your money for you and your kids to help you ‘get over it’ as he’s cruelly saying! After a month, what a dick!! Sorry about the break up, I was left out of the blue and it really does cause damage, I hope
You heal well xx

three answers

1. no

2.hell no 3 fuck no

and it sounds like you have had a lucky escape

Sorry to hear you're going through this, definitely keep your money for yourself! Just beware if he starts saying he wants to get back together in case it is really all about the money.

Move closer to your family/friends if that's an option.

Do not give/lend him your money. You will need that for you and your girls.

I don't understand why you are even contemplating it.

@MingeofDeath I think just because it was already an agreement between us and I thought I’d be seen as petty to be honest.

@Daisylg I’m sorry to hear that. It’s shit isn’t it. it’s been tough and no doubt it will get easier. I’m sure of that.

No, definitely not! If he tries to make you feel bad:
"My circumstances have changed since we agreed on me lending you the money". Hard Paddington stare.

I'm sure he won't be expecting an ex to still lend him money.

That would be ridiculous

Don’t give him the money!

If he still expects you to lend him the money then he's a five star cheeky fucker. He chose to walk away from everything you had planned together and that includes financial plans.

He would need balls of solid tungsten to even hint at you lending him money surely?!

Please please don't, you need to look after yourself and your children. All the best

Oh Jesus fuck do not give him a shilling.
He walked out on you.
Just no.
The cheeky cunting prick.

Of course not. Things were different when you agreed. If it was still the same circumstances, it would have gone ahead. As things are now, you’ll use the money for whatever changes you need to make for you and your children. 🤷‍♀️

If he wasn’t able to bother saving up this money himself, why would you be so certain
You’d get the money back?!

Tell him his girlfriend / fuck buddy can shout him the cash - cheeky fuckin' smegma crust.

Why on earth would you give him money ? Don't be a doormat.

Absolutely do not give him the money. Not a chance.

He told you to move on, so when he asks say you are using your money to move on. Don't lend him a cent. He has shown you how he can screw you over, so you don't need that to be done twice to you.

It sounds like you want to honour the agreement you had together.

But sadly he has already totally terminated the arrangements you had in place. Asked you to move on.

Now is the time to be looking after yourself and your children and putting you and them first. Not subsidising him.

Sorry, it sounds rotten.

A good phrase I’ve read on here....”are you on glue?”
Ask him that too if he has the brass neck to ask you for the money?

I’m almost positive that I would get it back.

Not good enough.

And I’m not sure if he’d do it for me.

The best reason to say no.

Tell him you need the money to move on.