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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to shout F off to men perving over my teenage daughter

334 replies

Tuesdaysintheazores · 06/05/2021 13:02

Literally on a walk to the shops, the amount who openly stare and gawp, I'm talking men in their 30s ish and older not teenagers. Gives me the rage

OP posts:
chloeb8 · 06/05/2021 13:05

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Yorkterrier · 06/05/2021 13:06

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Yorkterrier · 06/05/2021 13:06

Yes tell them to Fuck Off

skirk64 · 06/05/2021 13:07

How old is she? Big difference between men admiring a 19yo and them perving at a 13yo.

chillibeansauce · 06/05/2021 13:07

I've seen this happen to my daughters 12 year old step sister, she's tall but looks very young. Fucking hate leery men.

Lou98 · 06/05/2021 13:08

@chloeb8

Of course this actually happened.
Do you think it doesn't?

As a teen I developed very early and looked older, I had this happen a lot - it always made me very uncomfortable and on edge!

NorthernBirdAtHeart · 06/05/2021 13:08

YANBU. I’ve witnessed the same (far too frequently) with my teenage DD’s and it absolutely gives me the rage too!

chillibeansauce · 06/05/2021 13:08

@chloeb8

Of course this actually happened.
What an odd remark. Yes this does happen to young girls, sadly all the time.
diggadoonew · 06/05/2021 13:08

Yanbu. I have a 14 year old girl, and she's constantly being stared at by grown men.

Yorkterrier · 06/05/2021 13:09

My dd is 12 and I saw a man look her up and down. I gave him a disgusted look, I think he thought she was on her own.

BeneficiaryMadness · 06/05/2021 13:09

@chloeb8 do you have teenage daughters? I have 3 and it happens all the time. I did actually confront someone in Leeds once when she was 14 (22 now) so gross.

Thoughtcontagion · 06/05/2021 13:10

Happens to my 13 year old I dish out dirty looks and middle fingers if they are driving past , absolutely disgusting

GCAcademic · 06/05/2021 13:10

@chloeb8

Of course this actually happened.
You must have led a very sheltered life.
DeadlyMedally · 06/05/2021 13:11

Men are going to look at physically mature, attractive "women". Surely they'd have to look to decide that she's too young to be looked at?
Shouting at them might help, but you'd probably just end up with a sore throat and men still perving.

DaphneDuBois · 06/05/2021 13:12

If she’s under 18, I’d look at them in disgust and tell them her age. Some men have not received the message that it’s not okay to openly leer and perv at anyone they like the look of. It’s grim and even more so when they are so much older.

YoniAndGuy · 06/05/2021 13:12

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ArthiaNS · 06/05/2021 13:12

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Hoppinggreen · 06/05/2021 13:13

@chloeb8

Of course this actually happened.
Of course it did. Don’t blame you OP - I used to have to fight the urge too
corlan · 06/05/2021 13:13

Happens all the time. I'm always tempted to ask 'Are you a paedophile?'

ArthiaNS · 06/05/2021 13:13

This shit happened to me from age 11. I quickly learnt to not bother doing my hair nice or wearing makeup when out in public, still didn’t stop.

Peanutbuttercupisyum · 06/05/2021 13:14

Yep. I remember being a teenager and being stared at walking my dog, in my school uniform, all they time! The thing is, as a teenage girl I didn’t ‘get it’ for the pervy, initimidating, objectification it obviously was and felt flattered. As a grown up you deal with it if need be, as a teenager it’s harder to.

Orangebug · 06/05/2021 13:15

Of course it happens! The only times in my life I've been wolf whistled have been when I was wearing my school uniform. Then it used to happen regularly Angry

HollyGoLoudly1 · 06/05/2021 13:16

@skirk64

How old is she? Big difference between men admiring a 19yo and them perving at a 13yo.
Big difference between your description of unwanted sexual attention. 30+ grown men gawping at teenage girls is not 'admiration'.
newnortherner111 · 06/05/2021 13:16

Please feel able to challenge these perverts. Even if indirectly such as asking if I have dropped something.

Weirdfan · 06/05/2021 13:17

I shouted 'she's 12 and you're disgusting' at the last perve who did it to DD, he looked like he wanted the ground to swallow him and several people shot him disgusted looks so maybe that's the way to go. Safety first though, this was in a supermarket with lots of people around and a security guard 20ft away so felt safe to say something, not sure I'd risk it with no one else around.

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