To want to shout F off to men perving over my teenage daughter

[Tuesdaysintheazores]

Literally on a walk to the shops, the amount who openly stare and gawp, I'm talking men in their 30s ish and older not teenagers. Gives me the rage

Ands it not okay to even look at adult women in the bloody street!! I HATE being looked at if I’m on my way out in the evening or wearing shorter stuff in the summer. It’s horrible, intimidating and makes me feel really gross. Nice normal men do not stare at women in the street, they really don’t.

God my 12 year old gets this 🙁😮😢. She had some disgusting comments from builders walking home from school in her uniform. I reported online to police but nothing.

Fortunate for these men firearms are forbidden as in my peri menopausal state I may take a few out.

Just shout stop staring pervert

@DeadlyMedally

Men are going to look at physically mature, attractive "women". Surely they'd have to look to decide that she's too young to be looked at? Shouting at them might help, but you'd probably just end up with a sore throat and men still perving.

Well they shouldn't. We aren't pieces of art, we are people going about our business. If it's obvious enough for someone to notice, then they are ogling and should stop.

I remember going out with my now ex DP and his 2 teenage daughters not long after we met, his youngest was 13 and men were openly leering at her in a cinema lobby. One bloke was staring, nudging his mate and pointing her out to him, culminating with him shouting something about her wanting his dick. DP grabbed him by his coat lapels and called him a fucking pervert and said she was 13 years old...sadly didn't put the bloke off and he made another disgusting comment. I had to pull DP off him and thankfully a few of the cinema staff dragged the bloke outside and wouldn't let him back in.

It's disgusting, total perverts.

I had this regularly from the age of about 12, it made me super self conscious.

Grown men leering and making sexual comments.

I clearly remember the shock and confusion and how it changed the way I moved through the world - and not in a good way.

Best part of getting old and fat means I don't get any bother these days which I'm very happy about (but sad for those still having to put up with it).

She's 15 I feel like I got away lightly now as it didn't happen when she was 12. 12! I don't think there's even an age when it's okay where there's such an age difference, and what also surprised me was doing it when I'm there as well, just very blatant and entitled. I mean you'd think they'd at least try to pretend they weren't. I wonder if it has always been this way or men have got worse. I think it's different when it's your daughter though as well because you feel protective.

It's not okay to leer and/or make lewd comments to another human being. It doesn't matter how old they are. People shouldn't be made to feel objectified.

Yes, this is horrible.

Was having a conversation the other day that the most attention I received from random men was between the ages of 13-18- 16 being peak. Horrible!

@DeadlyMedally

Men are going to look at physically mature, attractive "women". Surely they'd have to look to decide that she's too young to be looked at? Shouting at them might help, but you'd probably just end up with a sore throat and men still perving.

Or how about men just don't gawp at women, full stop. Problem solved.

I would! My friend and I used to squirt lorry drivers who perved on us through their windows with super soakers! We were about 15 at this time.

There was a cement works next to our village , hence the number of lorries! It must have happened a lot for us to go about armed. My friend was absolutely gorgeous, but she was a child ffs!

Happened to me all the time from the age of 12. I very clearly remember the first time it happened. You're a better mum than mine was, mine used to tut at me as if it was my fault...your daughter is lucky to have you on her side OP

Do you literally pass that many men on a short walk to the shops? I know I don’t, and I live in a very busy city suburb!

Does anyone else feel really torn about the current fashion of teens wearing tight athletic leggings with cropped tops?

I'm constantly swerving between 'they should be able to wear what they want' and 'they should cover up a bit'. They just look so vulnerable and I imagine men perving over their bums. I'd say 90% of teen girls where I live wear leggings with waist length sweatshirts.

Thanks Lb1204 sorry your mum acted that way

Do it. ESPECIALLY if they make remarks. It's not acceptable at any age and men aboslutley should be challenged on this. You don't see women leering, making comments and generally making men fee uncomfortable in public spaces, why should we put up with it from them?

Happened to me too - from about 12 years old.

These "admiring glances" are actually pretty loaded with threat. Especially when directed to towards teenage girls. At that age, you have no really clue whether, when or how these glances are going to escalate into action and most of us here will have examples of where it did.

• threatened with being dragged into the bushes
• yelled at to show my knickers
• grabbed by the neck and called a prick tease
• flashed
• yelled that he wanted to lick my...
• stopped and told he liked the 3D effect of my t-shirt; when I looked confused he grabbed my boobs and told me it stood out

...and more besides that I have now long since forgotten because it's too depressing to remember.

I would bet many truly admiring glances go unnoticed. It's the ogling and leering and staring that gets spotted. The looks up and down. The lingering glares.

It's done because those men think they have a right to do it, regardless of how it makes the target feel. Yell "fuck off" all you like, OP

Do you literally pass that many men on a short walk to the shops? I know I don’t, and I live in a very busy city suburb!

I did indeed. Busy main road with shops. Quite surprised that people think I am making the experience up

I remember walking home from school once wearing a fairly long coat that just covered my skirt. A man actually pulled up in his car and asked if I had a skirt on.

I was 13.

God it's grim isn't it. It seems to get worse.

I can remember being about 13 and the husband of our yard owner would always try and catch me on my own in the tack room or feed store and have a right old good look or squeeze past me. Makes me shudder to this day.

Men do this to my daughter. She's 16 now but its been going on since she was 14. She looks young for her age too, but to be honest, I don't think it matters how she looks it shouldn't be happening. I give them a 'look'.
The same thing happened to me for many years when starting when I was about 13; unfortunately in those days I was 'flattered' by it, my daughter isn't, she thinks they're creepy.

You don't see women leering, making comments and generally making men fee uncomfortable in public spaces, why should we put up with it from them?

Imagine perving over teenagers

That's awful JadedStrumpet

Yup this is as old as time sadly. I had it happen to me at that age, and I’ve been there and seen it happen to my daughter. And one memorable creep who did it to both of us, did a double take, eyed her up and down slowly , then did the same to me. The look of anger in my eyes when he reached my face gave him a bit of a fright though.