To want to shout F off to men perving over my teenage daughter

[Tuesdaysintheazores]

Literally on a walk to the shops, the amount who openly stare and gawp, I'm talking men in their 30s ish and older not teenagers. Gives me the rage

I’ve never really noticed in before (maybe I’m in my own bubble) but the other day for the first time I was with my 18 year old and this older man basically stared at her from his car - I may have embarrassed her more by very politely telling him where to go.....not normally like that as a person but I could tell my daughter was very uncomfortable with him just staring :(

we used to get this walokng home from school at about 13- east london

i know its not very polite but we always shouted fuck off you dirty pervert at them

You would be unreasonable not to tell them to fuck off.
We were walking through London when I saw a van driver leering at some poor girl walking across the road. He was told to fuck off by me. Twat.

We really need zero tolerance of this shit. There is no need for any man to gawp at any female. But then i have zero tolerance for men going to strip clubs and stuff that that, it all feeds into this idea that women are merely enertainment for men.

Surely they'd have to look to decide that she's too young to be looked at?

WTAF? Or they could stop leering pervily at females they pass in the street, like decent human beings.

YANBU, it is horrible. It is tiring for teenage girls, and no it is not bloody flattering!

So many of us have had the same experience. This used to happen to me all the time from age 11 to around 18. I vividly remember the first time when I was 11, it made me feel sick.

It's disgusting how many paedophiles there are out there openly staring at and making inappropriate comments to very young girls.

The pervy looks and comments seemed to die down once I became a young woman i.e. over 18!

I'd hoped things had changed as there's now more awareness on society, etc but it's worryong that PP are saying it's still happening to their young daughters

@skirk64

How old is she? Big difference between men admiring a 19yo and them perving at a 13yo.

Both are oppressive male behaviours aimed at intimidating and controlling the behaviour or women.

Twisting the description doesn't change that.

I know a lot of women whose first experience of unwanted sexual attention was when they were still wearing school uniform - it's disgusting

Absolutely YANBU. A leer is not the same as an admiring look.

It's even worse when it's male family members commenting on how my pre-teen is developing and comments about now being a woman because she has boobs.

I'm not surprised so many children have issues going through puberty and accepting how their bodies change.

First time this happened to DD when I was with her, she was 12. I remember because as I walked past I said to him "she's twelve"

Why do these 30 year old men not have any decorum?

That's the question

I would add that I have tried to teach my dc (especially dd), that if someone is rude then they don't have to be polite, also that if someone makes them feel uncomfortable then it is the responsibility of the other person to accept the consequences and if that means dd telling them to fuck off then that's on them.

i know its not very polite but we always shouted fuck off you dirty pervert at them

^^

Best response in that situation.

I remember my dad being absolutely furious with a bloke perving at me in a shop as a teenager.

I've told some workmen off for gawping at teenage girls before now. It's disgusting behaviour.

Had this as a school girl. Thank god I am now 61 with mad hair and wild appearance. I do not exist now!!!

My twin daughters are 14 nearly 15.
Last summer we were staying in Cornwall, my daughters and I were walking ahead of my partner and my 2 sons, let's just say all 3 work out, and play Rugby and are over 6 foot 3.
We walked past a group of men in their forties and they made a comment about a mum and daughter threesome and as we walked on they wolf whistled, swore and laughed they were met by my sons and partner who proceeded to tell them the errors of their ways and said that they had mums, sisters and probably a poor wife sitting at home.
I hate fucking men like that, they boil my piss. I usually tell them to fuck off but this time thought I would let my partner deal with it.
They picked on the wrong people that Saturday night.

Big difference between men admiring a 19yo and them perving at a 13yo.

No. It’s all about control.

@Deathgrip

Surely they'd have to look to decide that she's too young to be looked at?

WTAF? Or they could stop leering pervily at females they pass in the street, like decent human beings.

Yes, they could, but they haven't (despite your sentiment not being a new one) so they probably won't. My point is just that you're going to have to spend a lot of time shouting at a lot of men if you want them to stop "perving".

My sister became an instant, raging feminist when she was driving home and witnessed a man kerb crawling alongside her 13-year-old daughter and friend walking to school in their school uniforms. He was propositioning them and called them the C word when they ignored him. The girls weren't distressed, they said it happened all the time. My sister took his number and he was visited by the police, but we heard nothing more. The police (it was 12 years ago) didn't really seem to think it was a problem...

@N0tfinished

Does anyone else feel really torn about the current fashion of teens wearing tight athletic leggings with cropped tops?

I'm constantly swerving between 'they should be able to wear what they want' and 'they should cover up a bit'. They just look so vulnerable and I imagine men perving over their bums. I'd say 90% of teen girls where I live wear leggings with waist length sweatshirts.

No. My dd wears clothes, which completely cover her body and trainers. Occasional waist length tops / sweatshirts but mostly longer ones. So what if her leggings are tight. She will be wearing shorts in the summer. She’s 12 ffs. Since when did this sort of attire ooze sex appeal?

When DD was 12 a man shouted from a balcony at her 'come up here and fuck me etc'

All the balconies were FULL of people.

She shouted 'I'm 12 you weird pervert'

I'm guessing his neighbours judged a LOT

Yanbu a man slowed down whilst driving past 14 yro dd in her school uniform s9 he could gawp at her, it scared her. Its fucking disgusting

"Sorry I couldn't help but notice you staring at my daughter. Are you a teacher at her school or do you recognise her from somewhere else?"

LOUDLY.