To think this man was rude?

[Lucidas]

I was at a waste and recycling plant. It wasn’t too busy to get in - a queue of just under 5 minutes. I finished getting rid of my stuff, sat in the car and brought up directions on my phone to my next destination. I was on my phone for less than a minute.

I hear banging on my window and roll down it ever so slightly. It’s a guy, late 60s, looking very angry:

Him: Can you MOVE? Now?
Me: Excuse me?
Him: There’s a queue of people waiting out there.
Me: I’m just bringing up directions on my phone.
Him: What?
Me: repeat myself
Him: Well do it OUT THERE gestures randomly towards direction of the main road
Me: I’m sorry...

He walks off, gets into the car next to me, and is driven away. He didn’t even work there, which I’d initially assumed for some reason.

Was I in the wrong? Should I really
have driven out onto a road for no safe place to stop for quite a while, without setting my satnav?

AIBU to think my appearance may have made me a target for someone’s self-righteous indignation? (Muslim woman wearing a hijab)

If it was someone working there, fine...but what’s it to him??

Yes, he was rude but I’d have re set the new destination while I was waiting in the queue beforehand.

He was rude. I mean what you did wasn't ideal but most normal people would just inwardly fume at most.

He was rude, but it sounds like you were rude too, if you were blocking access for other people while fiddling with your phone.

You could have looked up your route before you went to the tip.

He sounds like an idiot and I bet he wouldn't have done it to a man.

It's the tip on a bank holiday, it's not like you were sitting in an ambulance bay outside A&E.

He was rude but you were being annoying.

YABU you were disorganised & inconveniencing others

He wasn't rude to ask you to move

& YABU to link it to being Muslim & wearing a hijab which he probably couldn't even see before he reached your car.

No idea why people are saying he is an idiot or he was rude?

It's not a car park. It's a space for while you get rid of your rubbish, empty it and MOVE, don't hold other people up.

Yes he was rude OP.

YABU and also YABU to link it to your hijab.
Tips are especially busy atm and it's obnoxious to sit there on your phone/satnav while people queue.

I think if people were waiting you should have moved as soon as possible.

He possibly might have thought you were browsing your phone and thought you were checking Facebook or something which is what caused his stress.

Yes he was rude but you were being very inconsiderate

Honestly if i saw someone sitting there in the car looking at their phone with a queue behind them at the tip i'd be giving them evils.

How does anyone else know how long you're going to be sat there?

I would have done the same to you too! Move out the way then park somewhere else and sort out your directions!!

Yes he was, and yes, it's entirely possible. Back in the day I used to open my street directory for directions which took a lot longer than plugging an address into a phone. He sounds like a typically aggressive man.

You are supposed to go straight in and out, so I see his point. There was no reason to speak to you rudely though

Don't be a selfish CF if you don't want to be told off

Unless the tip was directly off a high-flow motorway, there was no reason for you to not drive out and sort it out there.

I'm willing to consider an element of racism/sexism in that I don't know if he'd have done that to someone of the opposite demographic.

However, I do also think that you should have done your directions elsewhere. I get completely riled if there's any queue at a petrol station, or if I'm waiting to park in someone's spot at school pick up etc., and the driver does anything other than immediately start their engine upon re-entering the car.

Plus I know of no waste disposal sites in places where it would be dangerous to wait on the road outside them.

No your not wrong.

Im sure if you were a burly white guy he wouldn't have knocked on your window. Though he may have been one of those rare bullies who doesnt only pick on vulnerable ladies

That would drive people mad at hour tip. You’d be expected to drive out and park up outside to do that. Imagine if you were at the till in the supermarket and you’d paid but then stood getting a map on your phone so the next person can’t get through. Obviously that’s rude so it’s the same in your car. Even if it wasn’t busy, clearly at least one person was being held up by you.

I does sound overly aggressive but no one wants to be at the tip longer than necessary.

OP, you are definitely not unreasonable to link his behaviour to you being a woman and/or Muslim. He would not have behaved that way to a man.

Yes, you shouldn't really have held up others trying to get in but that doesn't change the fact he was rude.

I would be very surprised if at this tip there is absolutely no where at all for a car to briefly pull over out of the way after leaving the skip space, but before the exit.

@TheGumption

YABU and also YABU to link it to your hijab. Tips are especially busy atm and it's obnoxious to sit there on your phone/satnav while people queue.

Maybe or maybe not. However there is a right way to speak to people.

@TheGumption

YABU and also YABU to link it to your hijab. Tips are especially busy atm and it's obnoxious to sit there on your phone/satnav while people queue.

Agee with this! He likely couldn't even see what you looked like before he got to your car.

He had time to know you weren't moving and come over to your car so you can't have been as quick as you were making out, there was a queue behind you, you were being selfish

He was rude, and should certainly have asked in a more polite way, but you also shouldn't have been on your phone while there was a queue behind, you. That is really rude too.