To think this man was rude?

[Lucidas]

I was at a waste and recycling plant. It wasn’t too busy to get in - a queue of just under 5 minutes. I finished getting rid of my stuff, sat in the car and brought up directions on my phone to my next destination. I was on my phone for less than a minute.

I hear banging on my window and roll down it ever so slightly. It’s a guy, late 60s, looking very angry:

Him: Can you MOVE? Now?
Me: Excuse me?
Him: There’s a queue of people waiting out there.
Me: I’m just bringing up directions on my phone.
Him: What?
Me: repeat myself
Him: Well do it OUT THERE gestures randomly towards direction of the main road
Me: I’m sorry...

He walks off, gets into the car next to me, and is driven away. He didn’t even work there, which I’d initially assumed for some reason.

Was I in the wrong? Should I really
have driven out onto a road for no safe place to stop for quite a while, without setting my satnav?

AIBU to think my appearance may have made me a target for someone’s self-righteous indignation? (Muslim woman wearing a hijab)

If it was someone working there, fine...but what’s it to him??

Sorry that would piss me off. People haven’t got all day, you could have moved slightly out of the way and reset the Satnav.

Yes you were wrong.

Yes I would have said something to you whoever you were. Same as people who sit faffing after they have paid for their petrol and others are waiting.

Why didn't you set the destinations before you left home, or set the next one while waiting to get in?

Well,he was a bit impatient but it was down to your inconsiderate behaviour.I would never consider checking my phone while I have people behind,waiting.You can always check the directions in more convenient spot.
So,yes,YABU expecting others to wait for you.

You were both rude. I agree with poster who said you should have set the next destination on sat nav while waiting in queue for your turn. Also, the queue could have grown since you got in there. The man was rude too, he could have expressed himself nicer, but I honestly thing you’re being vv unreasonable to put it down to you being Muslim. If someone is annoyed at me for something I take it at face value and apologise. I never ever put it down to me being a foreigner, or a different religion or anything else. My behaviour annoyed someone- end of story.

YWBTU. There’s always queues at the tip and I would have been pissed off at someone fannying about on their sat nav if I was stuck behind you.
You were even more unreasonable to actually bring race in to it. He probably didn’t even notice until he rapped on your window.

Neither of you come out of this great tbh.

Maybe or maybe not. However there is a right way to speak to people.

And there is a right way to behave at the tip.

I think you were both rude. It’s rude when there is a long queue to just sit on your phone blocking a space. You could have pulled up to exit and then sorted the directions. You could have done the directions before, while in the queue yourself.

He was rude in how he basically barked an order at you. He was justified in asking you to move along, but could have been more polite about it.

You being hijab wearing Muslim might have contributed to him reacting to your rudeness with his rudeness instead of a polite request. Or he could have been grumpy to begin with or just a rude person in general. There is no way to know one way or the other.

You were annoying. Even your post is annoying because you don't seem to realise how annoying you would have been. I'm getting annoyed just thinking about it.

it is similar to being at a petrol station, you dont hang around,

@m0therofdragons

That would drive people mad at hour tip. You’d be expected to drive out and park up outside to do that. Imagine if you were at the till in the supermarket and you’d paid but then stood getting a map on your phone so the next person can’t get through. Obviously that’s rude so it’s the same in your car. Even if it wasn’t busy, clearly at least one person was being held up by you.

I does sound overly aggressive but no one wants to be at the tip longer than necessary.

The equivalent I think is twiddling your thumbs in a shop queue for 10 minutes and then to start fumbling about for your wallet after your shopping’s been scanned. When I strenuously avoid doing.

There really isn’t anywhere to safely stop after your exit. I couldn’t have done it before leaving home ( needed the satnav to get to the tip). I suppose I could have done it in the fast-moving queue while waiting to get in (and switched off my engine as per the law)- which would probably have pissed off even more drivers behind me.

And yes, he saw what I looked like: we were parked next to each other and walked past each other multiple times while depositing our stuff.

I accept that the appearance of what I was doing was irritating - sure, I could’ve been on Facebook. Or not. But I still don’t think it merits an aggressive response from someone who doesn’t even work at the place.

Depends how your tip is laid out. Ours is parking on both sides, with a wide part in the middle to drive out. When it's busy like on BHs yes, occasionally you have to wait a minute for space to free up while people faff get their shit together.

Unless you were blocking everyone getting out because you were sat right in the way, he was being a knob. If you're going to bring your hijab into it, I'd say it was more likely it's just because you're a woman and less likely to front up to him rather than anything else.

It seems really strange though that in less than a minute he has sat behind you, had the time to get impatient, had the time to lose his rag enough to do something about it, walk to your car and shout at you. Are you sure it wasn't longer?

Yes you were in the wrong, if everyone faffed about on their phone after using the tip the queues would be even longer than they already are!
You should have set it before or pulled over after you had finished in the tip.
Saying that he had no right to be rude to you tho.

You were both unreasonable

How did you not know how to get back where you came from?

He was rude not you. I would have sat there for 2 mins linking my sat nav. It’s 2 mins let people wait I would.

I don’t think your appearance has anything to do with it. He shouted because you were holding people up in the queue. Not that that entitles a stranger to yell at you.

You were both rude and inconsiderate..

@SuperMonkeys

How did you not know how to get back where you came from?

I just don’t know how to get back - it’s an unfamiliar tip in an area I recently moved to. It’s not hard to envisage.

You should have sorted your sat nav whilst queuing to get in. The majority of MN think YABU for sitting there and that it has nothing to do with what you look like.

less than a minute though, he was rude
i used to get impatient people behind me when i rolled a cigarette

He was rude, you were inconsiderate.

and it may have been the hijab,
sexist racist man.
hope your journey back was ok op

@CharlotteRose90

He was rude not you. I would have sat there for 2 mins linking my sat nav. It’s 2 mins let people wait I would.

Are you serious?

and why did he take it upon himself to chide you about the queue

You were both unreasonable.

You can't have everyone fiddling on their phone while in a queue. As a driver, if you can't locate a safe place to park there's something wrong. You just didn't want to drive somewhere safe and go out of your way. Fair enough but that will delay others and would make the queue a lot slower if everyone did it. Therefore people will be annoyed and someone might say something, that's always the risk if you're putting others out. But he did sound aggressive and disproportionate. As a white Christian woman this sort of thing happens to me too when I chance my arm sometimes.