To think this man was rude?

[Lucidas]

I was at a waste and recycling plant. It wasn’t too busy to get in - a queue of just under 5 minutes. I finished getting rid of my stuff, sat in the car and brought up directions on my phone to my next destination. I was on my phone for less than a minute.

I hear banging on my window and roll down it ever so slightly. It’s a guy, late 60s, looking very angry:

Him: Can you MOVE? Now?
Me: Excuse me?
Him: There’s a queue of people waiting out there.
Me: I’m just bringing up directions on my phone.
Him: What?
Me: repeat myself
Him: Well do it OUT THERE gestures randomly towards direction of the main road
Me: I’m sorry...

He walks off, gets into the car next to me, and is driven away. He didn’t even work there, which I’d initially assumed for some reason.

Was I in the wrong? Should I really
have driven out onto a road for no safe place to stop for quite a while, without setting my satnav?

AIBU to think my appearance may have made me a target for someone’s self-righteous indignation? (Muslim woman wearing a hijab)

If it was someone working there, fine...but what’s it to him??

Okay, he was rude, but I doubt he could see your hijab from his car. You were holding everyone up because you could have pulled out and reset directions out of the bay - you must have known it was busy after all, you probably had to wait.

I liken it to waiting behind a car at the petrol pump, while someone is inside getting £20 of shopping along with their petrol

If this had been a man looking at a map the other man wouldn’t have uttered a word.

How the fuck would you know that?

Yes he was rude. Reminds me of when someone sits and waits for your parking space. After a long shopping trip sometimes I want to sit and take a minute, make a call, check messages or eat something but if someone's waiting I feel the pressure to get going

@AbsolutelyPatsy

and it may have been the hijab, sexist racist man. hope your journey back was ok op

Yeah I’m pretty sure a grown woman was fine on her journey back from the tip.

Sorry I think you were the rude one - I would be annoyed that you didn't leave straight away but I wouldn't have knocked on your window either!

You should have been more organised, but there's no chance he would have approached and lectured a man in this manner. He was an arse; it had nothing to do with him. Just another man who likes shouting at women aggressively.

@SeaShoreGalore

I bet it was very much linked to you wearing a hijab. Women wearing a hijab have an image of being very meek and weak, so he probably felt pretty confident he wouldn’t get a mouthful back.

Got the lottery numbers too have you??

If this had been a man looking at a map the other man wouldn’t have uttered a word.
You don’t know that and the op was looking at her phone, the man had no way of knowing that she was looking at a map, for all he could see she was updating her Facebook status.
Either way It’s inconsiderate and shows complete lack of regard for the people waiting behind her, irrespective of sex or religion.

@BadLad

If this had been a man looking at a map the other man wouldn’t have uttered a word.

How the fuck would you know that?

I think it’s a fair assumption to make. Knocking on a guy’s windscreen and saying “MOVE, now!” may well risk an altercation. Women in general are more complaisant. I can’t see it happening.

@Gingerwhinger1

If this had been a man looking at a map the other man wouldn’t have uttered a word. You don’t know that and the op was looking at her phone, the man had no way of knowing that she was looking at a map, for all he could see she was updating her Facebook status. Either way It’s inconsiderate and shows complete lack of regard for the people waiting behind her, irrespective of sex or religion.

It was nothing to do with him, who is he to bang on her window and tell her to move on. He didn’t know what she was doing and should mind his own Business.

She wasn’t holding people up she was putting her next journey into the sat nav, maybe it was a bit thoughtless and maybe she should of moved on and done it outside, but it would have taken less than a minute.

It’s not for him to boss her around. He could have had a conversation with her if he felt it a was a so important.

And zero lessons were learned..... by both parties.

@BadLad

If this had been a man looking at a map the other man wouldn’t have uttered a word.

How the fuck would you know that?

Well I don’t because I wasn’t there. But I’ve seen plenty of man speak to women in a bossy tone and be nice as pie to men to jump to the conclusion that he wouldn’t have banged on a mans window and tell them to move on.

I think it’s a fair assumption to make. Knocking on a guy’s windscreen and saying “MOVE, now!” may well risk an altercation. Women in general are more complaisant. I can’t see it happening.

It's not a fair assumption, its absolute crap. Blokes kick off with other blokes all the time. I've seen far more men screaming at other men than I have men screaming at women. I'm surprised anyone would post such nonsense.

Yabu. He was a little rude but your behaviour was unreasonable.

OP the only options aren't to either hold everyone up setting up directions in the recycling centre or illegally do it while driving. Just leave the centre, turn onto the first side road, pull up safely and do it there. Beauty of a sat nav is it knows where you are so doesn't matter if you don't

Also yabu for bringing your religious background/appearance into this. A great example of how identity politics suit those who will look to blame anything other than themselves and avoid personal responsibility as much as possible. He could have been xenophobic, most likely he thought you were being rude sitting there on your phone like no one else in the place mattered.

But I see this is another classic AIBU where the op was just looking to be told they're not and keeps doubling down. So don't know why I'm replying really.

I think he was incredibly rude and entitled OP. It wasn't busy and you'd spent less than a minute looking up an address. Sadly yes, I also imagine that you being a) female and b) visibly Muslim is likely to have played a part in it too. Somehow I can't imagine him confronting a 6ft muscly bloke in quite the same way, but there's a certain type who will leap at the opportunity to 'legitimately' have a go at a woman in a headscarf.

I had decided you were selfish when you outlined the situation. Nothing at all to do with your appearance, which you described after the scenario.

If I were you I would have hated some aggressive random bloke shouting into my car, and I probably wouldn’t have been able to keep my mouth shut back but I would have been acutely aware of other people waiting and not wanted to hold them up in the first place.

I freely admit that I’m not very patient though. So it means I hate keeping others waiting.

I think you were unreasonable but he was rude. That was nothing to do with a woman or hijab wearing and you are being unreasonable to make it culturally motivated - he was just annoyed at you faffing about holding everyone else up.

And I say that as someone who has witnessed hostility to Muslim women first hand many times - literally smiling and friendly to me and them stone cold and abrupt with my colleague in a hijab.

He should have just kept his mouth shut but ideally you’d be more aware of your surroundings and how other people might be feeling.

Actually if you were parked at the tip you were not breaking the law touching your phone.

There is case law which confirms that to commit an offence you need to be driving in the literal sense of the word. Parked up with the handbrake on would not classify as driving in that sense. Parked at traffic lights whilst in the carriageway would.

She wasn’t holding people up
That is exactly what she was doing and it is utterly thoughtless and inconsiderate.
And i would question the ‘less than a minute’ if the bloke has managed to get suitably irritated, out of his car and over to hers in that time frame.

Well I don’t because I wasn’t there. But I’ve seen plenty of man speak to women in a bossy tone and be nice as pie to men to jump to the conclusion that he wouldn’t have banged on a mans window and tell them to move on

I think we all know it's a farted out comment that you don't actually know and can't possibly know. It's just funny that you stated it as if it were a fact.

You must have been there for a while if it took enough time for him to realise that you were on your phone and then get out of his car to walk to yours.

The man was rude and aggressive.

He wouldn't have banged on the window of a man.

Shame you didn't tell him to mind his own fucking business.

I love how so many women just assume that men never tell anything to other men😂

On a serious not.
It may have or not be because you are a eoman. It may have or not be because you wear hijab. It may havr or not be a minute (in my experience when people say a minute, it's never just a minute😁).

It may have been unreasonable, or not. No one will know unless we get some eye witness here😁

For future, don't hold up queues and if the guy eas here I would tell him that for future, he should wait bit more before going in.