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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Penis-haver

366 replies

Blue4YOU · 15/04/2021 20:56

AIBU to start referring to all men as penis-hackers (inspired by the absurd NHS policy re people who menstruate thread)?
Hi, here’s my penis-haver X who I’m married to, my penis-haver friend Y and I was assaulted by a penis-haver paediatrician?

OP posts:
Original poster
Blue4YOU · 15/04/2021 20:56

Penis-havers 🤣🤣🤣, not hackers

OP posts:
ginandchampers · 15/04/2021 20:57

GlitterballGrin

PinkyU · 15/04/2021 20:57

What in actual ever living fuck are you talking about?

RedcurrantPuff · 15/04/2021 20:58

What’s wrong with ejaculator or spaffer?

Veryverycalmnow · 15/04/2021 20:59

Penile person

GettingUntrapped · 15/04/2021 21:01

Cis man

gamerchick · 15/04/2021 21:01

I use a variety of penis owners and prostate havers on SM when on the topic. It properly winds some men up.

fairynick · 15/04/2021 21:02

Trans men are men.

Biscuitsanddoombar · 15/04/2021 21:05

If women are going to be referred to as “cervix havers”, “people with a uterus” “vulva owners” and “menstruators” then men are definitely “penis havers” “prostate owners” and “ejaculators”

Original poster
Blue4YOU · 15/04/2021 21:11

Ah, my mind is blown! I hadn’t thought of the obvious comparison to “prostate owners” because that’s comparable in reductive reasoning.
Though still not as bad as what I want to get to.
After all “people who menstruate” for instance only refers to (many women) but DEFINITELY not all - post-menopausal women, women who’ve had hysterectomies, other medical conditions, even contraception that stops menstruation.
And not all women have cervices (I don’t have much of one after treatment for pre-cancerous cells).
For pp - this is a reflection on how mad the fucking terminology about women has become

OP posts:
Original poster
Blue4YOU · 15/04/2021 21:12

Fuck me.. autocorrect!! CERVIXs

OP posts:
MMAMPWGHAP · 15/04/2021 21:13

Surely wankers covers it nicely

HarrietHardy · 15/04/2021 21:13

Penists

Prostators

Spermists

MaryBoBary · 15/04/2021 21:14

Start using DPH instead of DH/DP Grin

MaryBoBary · 15/04/2021 21:14

Someone that is willied could be another

warmandtoasty2day · 15/04/2021 21:17

@MMAMPWGHAP

Surely wankers covers it nicely
sums it up for a lot of men sadly.
0hMy · 15/04/2021 21:18

I initially read the title as penis hayfever!

Awalkintime · 15/04/2021 21:21

Scrotum owners

Original poster
Blue4YOU · 15/04/2021 21:22

Oh these are the best answers!! Making my day!

OP posts:
Theimpossiblegirl · 15/04/2021 21:24

Tossers?

Mugginyouleftrightandcentre · 15/04/2021 21:25

@MMAMPWGHAP

Surely wankers covers it nicely
Lol!

I do also like 'spaffer'. Let's make it a thing Smile

BrumBoo · 15/04/2021 21:27

Prostate Proprietor

scaredsadandstuck · 15/04/2021 21:30

Cock carrier

Wishitsnows · 15/04/2021 21:33

I certainly hope the NHS describe them in this way as they are no longer using the word woman.

BackAffYaSpookyBint · 15/04/2021 21:34

@PinkyU

What in actual ever living fuck are you talking about?
This.