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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Penis-haver

366 replies

Blue4YOU · 15/04/2021 20:56

AIBU to start referring to all men as penis-hackers (inspired by the absurd NHS policy re people who menstruate thread)?
Hi, here’s my penis-haver X who I’m married to, my penis-haver friend Y and I was assaulted by a penis-haver paediatrician?

OP posts:
Nitpickpicnic · 15/04/2021 21:46

I think ‘The Willied’, as a group name, has better gravitas.
They’ll like that.

talesofginza · 15/04/2021 21:47

Wangwielder, purveyors of meat and two veg

GoToSleepBabyPlease · 15/04/2021 21:49

The bedicked?
Penis holders?

Cock owner would be too ambiguous, I imagine... 🐓 🤔

Beamur · 15/04/2021 21:49

@Biscuitsanddoombar

If women are going to be referred to as “cervix havers”, “people with a uterus” “vulva owners” and “menstruators” then men are definitely “penis havers” “prostate owners” and “ejaculators”
Quite.
Gibbonsgibbonsgibbons · 15/04/2021 21:49

This reply has been deleted

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LavendersBlueLavendersGreen · 15/04/2021 21:50

Wangwielder Grin

chipperfish · 15/04/2021 21:50

Male or female
Theres not a vas deferens

AliasGrape · 15/04/2021 21:51

Boner owners?

WhereYouLeftIt · 15/04/2021 21:52

@Nitpickpicnic

I think ‘The Willied’, as a group name, has better gravitas. They’ll like that.
Loving that!
WellIWasInTheNeighbourhoo · 15/04/2021 21:52

I saw 'scrotes' on reddit, actually I think it was 'depraved scrotes', but anyway it resonated.

JuJuSpaDuDu · 15/04/2021 21:53

Clit Evaders

absolutely not bitter about many a disappointing night

BoreOfWhabylon · 15/04/2021 21:53

Be-willied
Be-bollocked

ZenNudist · 15/04/2021 21:53

The Betesticled
Love this idea. We should campaign for this if we are known as cervix havers.

lottiegarbanzo · 15/04/2021 21:53

Spaffer is the best. Ejaculator, prostate-bearer, person-with-a-prostate, yes.

Penis-haver is too ambiguous, as surely neo-penises are constructed in the same but inverted manner as neo-vaginas.

Mugginyouleftrightandcentre · 15/04/2021 21:54

Boner owner! 😂😂😂

Moonmelodies · 15/04/2021 21:55

@Blue4YOU

Fuck me.. autocorrect!! CERVIXs
Cervices is correct.
KetchupOnTheFloor · 15/04/2021 21:55

I like The Willied and also Prostate Haver mainly because I think some will be fine with the word penis. Spaffer is also brilliant.

But yes, fairs fairs, if I am to be termed cervix haver then surely it cannot be a one way street.

nzborn · 15/04/2021 21:56

Dick challenged

Kimchidreams · 15/04/2021 21:56

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TheFleegleHasLanded · 15/04/2021 21:57

Non-women

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/04/2021 21:57

Small gamete producer

Kimchidreams · 15/04/2021 21:58

@Gibbonsgibbonsgibbons

Spaffer is my favourite but I’d have to stick to “prostate people” for accuracy Grin

TMAM exactly like
Seahorses are horses

Beat me to it Grin
Cardboardeaux · 15/04/2021 21:58

@Blue4YOU

Fuck me.. autocorrect!! CERVIXs
Cervices is actually the correct version Smile
PineappleCakes · 15/04/2021 21:59

@chipperfish

Male or female Theres not a vas deferens
👏👏

Load bearers? Bollockers? Although the BeDicked has a nice ring to it...

JuJuSpaDuDu · 15/04/2021 21:59

Owner of X and Y chromosome.

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