Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Penis-haver

366 replies

Blue4YOU · 15/04/2021 20:56

AIBU to start referring to all men as penis-hackers (inspired by the absurd NHS policy re people who menstruate thread)?
Hi, here’s my penis-haver X who I’m married to, my penis-haver friend Y and I was assaulted by a penis-haver paediatrician?

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 15/04/2021 21:59

Prostate haver
Testicle owner

awesomekillick · 15/04/2021 22:00

@CorvusPurpureus

Ball bearings?
Hahahahahaha that's really funny 😄
BahHumbygge · 15/04/2021 22:00

The be-wangled janglers

aquamarine08 · 15/04/2021 22:01

Sperm sprayers

SylviaPlath1984 · 15/04/2021 22:01

@MMAMPWGHAP

Surely wankers covers it nicely
Close the thread, this is the last word 😂😂
Breastfeedingworries · 15/04/2021 22:01

Boner owner Grin

Love that one!! Spat out my hot choc

AdoraBell · 15/04/2021 22:01

I vote for Scrotum Owners as suggested by Awalkintime

WhatKatyDidNot · 15/04/2021 22:02

YANBU.

My preference is for scrotal people.

Scrotes for short!

ChewtonRoad · 15/04/2021 22:02

Johnson jockey
(I blame The Big Lebowski for use of "johnson")

Trans men are men Not in this universe they're not.

shreddednips · 15/04/2021 22:02

Dangler wranglers

Navigationcentral · 15/04/2021 22:02

Ball bearers

SchadenfreudePersonified · 15/04/2021 22:04

@MMAMPWGHAP

Surely wankers covers it nicely
Grin
Erkrie · 15/04/2021 22:04

Start using DPH instead of DH/DP

Grin
SchadenfreudePersonified · 15/04/2021 22:06

@WutheringShites86

Willie Wonkers and the Chocolate Spafferies
Wille Wankers, you mean?
Wallywobbles · 15/04/2021 22:06

@GoToSleepBabyPlease

The bedicked? Penis holders?

Cock owner would be too ambiguous, I imagine... 🐓 🤔

That's a chicken.
Rupertbeartrousers · 15/04/2021 22:06

@chipperfish

Male or female Theres not a vas deferens
Grin
ArnottsUnderpass · 15/04/2021 22:07

Bellenders?

notanothertakeaway · 15/04/2021 22:08

@fairynick

Trans men are men.
In an anonymous forum, I'll say I don't really buy into this

Wear what you like, have relationships with who you like, defy gender stereotypes and expectations, but deep down, do people REALLY think that someone with a vagina is a man?

listsandbudgets · 15/04/2021 22:08

What about Spermers or errectioneers ?

(I'm late to the thread all the good ones have already been taken!)

JustcameoutGC · 15/04/2021 22:08

The gubernaculata?

Adirondack · 15/04/2021 22:09

The woke crowd have definitely taken over. I HATE it. I’m not bloody ‘cis’. I’m a WOMAN. That’s it. Quite happy for people to be whoever they want to be, but one group’s (trans) needs should NOT stomp all over another (women) group’s needs. While we’re at it, how come we only ever hear ranting and demands for access to prisons, changing rooms and sporting eventsfrom trans women?

seriouslyenoughalready · 15/04/2021 22:10

I get the penis- haver thing. But, of all the possible examples, the example of ‘I was assaulted by a penis- haver
paediatrician’ was quite unexpected -
Are you okay OP?

Delphinium20 · 15/04/2021 22:10

Willie

But if you say, "My Willie and I have a date night," it could possibly construed that you plan to spend the evening alone.

JustcameoutGC · 15/04/2021 22:12

The epididymisters?

musicalfrog · 15/04/2021 22:13

Fuck's sake NHS. Hmm

Swipe left for the next trending thread