To s***t in the garden

[shhhFFS]

Humorous post. Dp has irritable bowels. It’s our anniversary tomorrow and we are going out for a meal first since lockdown so I decided to have a pamper night with my eldest. Also to have a bath first and to shave areas that haven’t seen the light of day. Also I have very much been running the ship and a peaceful night was well on the cards, largely due to DP putting his back out at work. Basically I needed this before I lose my s**t and he knows that

Whilst I was in the bath DPs tummy started acting up. Instead of disturbing my bath he decided to shit in the garden instead of either A. Coming into the bathroom and s*ing whilst I was in there and this ruining my peaceful bath or B. Demanding I get out the bath ASAP so he could s*t, either way peaceful bath ruined. He’s embarrassed and has cleaned it up.

I don’t have an AIBU because the man I love chose to shit in the garden rather than disturb my peaceful bath time.

So basically despite the dirty deed I feel this is true love and I’m glad I will be marrying this man one day from tomorrow!

Oh , he’s a keeper! What a lovely man and many congratulations to you both! 💐

Aw bless him, that is thoughtful.

I think that was actually very thoughtful. Have you got £ and space to get another toilet installed?

That is both disgusting and lovely all at the same time 🤣

Did he wipe his bum with a dock leaf or was he fully prepared

..sorry but I didn't start this

So you are getting married on Monday? Congratulations!!

You can swear on MN?

Sorry but that is rank. And if he did do it, ju tell you? Grim.

Ju (?) Was meant to be "why"

I’m jealous. I can’t remember the last time I had a bath without some family member or other ordering me out to take a shit

I think that’s grim tbh.

I’d rather my husband disturbed my bath, because I’d understand if he had a medical condition!

. And he rushed in to tell you? 🤮

Dear God. I mean, I'm glad you're happy but I think this is vile.

It wouldn't work as any kind of romantic gesture for me - 1000% would prefer my bath to be disturbed.

so I decided to have a pamper night with my eldest

Maybe DP could have had a Pampers night?

He was so embarrassed he just had to tell you all about it?

Cool story.

That is ture love indeed 💖
I wish you both all the happiness in the world

@LaMarschallin

so I decided to have a pamper night with my eldest

Maybe DP could have had a Pampers night?

😂

If tomorrow is your anniversary, how can you be getting married the following day?

Seriously that is disgusting. I certainly wouldn’t be sharing this information as if it’s something to be grateful for. Did he pick it up? Also how did he wipe his arse 🤮

An ultimate and loving gesture I say, having a dp with IBS I would be grateful!

@Jamestown

If tomorrow is your anniversary, how can you be getting married the following day?

Indeed. Pile of shite (literally)...

Also this information is so private that I am amazed that you posted it. If you expect a future with this man, get a separate room with a toilet. It is sad that the poor man did not have enough confidence to interrupt your bath. Is he afraid of you?

That really is gross. And I say that as someone who has been waiting 30mins to get in the shower while my DP has been bathroom hogging due to a dodgy stomach 😑.
Can't wait until we buy a house big enough for 2 bathrooms

Errghhh, I would be horrified if my DH did that.

Not that I even believe this thread anyway. Why would he do that? Why would he tell you? Why would you feel the need to tell mumsnet? And then sound proud you found this fantastic garden pooer?

Strange

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I shat in the garden
Just for you