To s***t in the garden

[shhhFFS]

Humorous post. Dp has irritable bowels. It’s our anniversary tomorrow and we are going out for a meal first since lockdown so I decided to have a pamper night with my eldest. Also to have a bath first and to shave areas that haven’t seen the light of day. Also I have very much been running the ship and a peaceful night was well on the cards, largely due to DP putting his back out at work. Basically I needed this before I lose my s**t and he knows that

Whilst I was in the bath DPs tummy started acting up. Instead of disturbing my bath he decided to shit in the garden instead of either A. Coming into the bathroom and s*ing whilst I was in there and this ruining my peaceful bath or B. Demanding I get out the bath ASAP so he could s*t, either way peaceful bath ruined. He’s embarrassed and has cleaned it up.

I don’t have an AIBU because the man I love chose to shit in the garden rather than disturb my peaceful bath time.

So basically despite the dirty deed I feel this is true love and I’m glad I will be marrying this man one day from tomorrow!

Zombie but well worth resurrecting.

If you've got to go you have to. Some of us have diseases which means it's urgent and govern their lives by accesible loos. Most houses round here just have one bathroom with a loo. Agree there should be a chamber pot with cover for those who can't manage. If you look at Regency buildings there was often a chamber pot behind a screen for male dinner party guests. And very few for those visiting Versailles in the 18C so women carried pots in their carriages. No SheWees then.

@LaMarschallin

so I decided to have a pamper night with my eldest

Maybe DP could have had a Pampers night?

Came dangerously close to shitting myself with laughter here. How fortunate that I'm already out in the garden.

Seriously embarrassing but this thread just brought back memories so here goes...
I used to commute on public transport for work, it was around a 2hr journey each way, and my brother had been staying with us at the time. I came home from work at approx 8pm and it was a dark, snowy winters night. My brother was supposed to of left his key under the pot for me when he went out for the evening, but upon arriving home, bursting for the loo, I realised that he had in fact forgotten to leave the key.
I've always been so shy about pooping in public, I wouldn't dream of going at work or even really in any house that isn't my own, so after a full day and massive commute I was bursting, and you know when your bursting and it seems the closer to home you get the less you can hold it in? Well yes, that. I arrived home, realised I had no key, my partner was working a 45min drive away on nights so not due back until 4am, my brother was away for the night with my key and there was little old me, locked out in the snow, bursting for a poop and too ashamed to ask my neighbours if I could poop in their house. So I had no alternative but to poop in my garden. I went to the furthest, darkest corner of the back garden and crouched under the bushes and just had to hope with all of my might that no one saw me. I was so mortified with myself!
For anyone that's interested, after the main event, I knocked on a builder who lived across the way and borrowed a giant ladder from him, climbed up to the second storey of my house to the open bathroom window and managed to somehow, in a work dress, shimmy my way through the tiny top part of window that had been left open and get into the house.
Overall the whole event was fairly traumatic, and I probably wouldn't recommend it to anyone, but definitely still makes me and my partner laugh to this day!

This is so grim …