To s***t in the garden

[shhhFFS]

Humorous post. Dp has irritable bowels. It’s our anniversary tomorrow and we are going out for a meal first since lockdown so I decided to have a pamper night with my eldest. Also to have a bath first and to shave areas that haven’t seen the light of day. Also I have very much been running the ship and a peaceful night was well on the cards, largely due to DP putting his back out at work. Basically I needed this before I lose my s**t and he knows that

Whilst I was in the bath DPs tummy started acting up. Instead of disturbing my bath he decided to shit in the garden instead of either A. Coming into the bathroom and s*ing whilst I was in there and this ruining my peaceful bath or B. Demanding I get out the bath ASAP so he could s*t, either way peaceful bath ruined. He’s embarrassed and has cleaned it up.

I don’t have an AIBU because the man I love chose to shit in the garden rather than disturb my peaceful bath time.

So basically despite the dirty deed I feel this is true love and I’m glad I will be marrying this man one day from tomorrow!

It's quite a funny story to tell. and it's very sad that you were not able to film the man in action,so you could post a pic on here. You need to find some little branches to hang loo rolls on, in case it happens again.

It was thoughtful of him but...

Did he clean up after himself?

Oh god! He was always free to use the bathroom!

When we had the loft converted DP asked why on earth I felt we needed another toilet, this thread is more proof I was right!

That's absolutely disgusting. I'd dump mine if he shit in my bloody garden. Nastiest post ever. Rank. Feral.

I would never look at that spot in the garden in the same way again.

Think I'd rather get out of the bath and stand shivering and swearing wrapped in a towel on the landing for five minutes, tbh, but each to their own.

Just as well you had a relaxing bath Op so that you didn’t lose your shit, ‘cos DP certainly has

Bowel problem or not he chose to SHIT in the garden. Wtf. Why would you share that with other people its vile.

That’s revolting OP

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Baby wipes all around
Just for me and...you

I thought this was funny, it summed up me and my DP,

This story sums up your relationship? Really? Fucking hell.

I still don’t really understand why you felt the need to tell Mumsnet. Surely this is one of those things to keep between yourselves. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think this is the best thing I’ve ever read on mumsnet.....Congratulations on your upcoming nupitials!

Holy shit!

Get him some pull up adult pants for next time.

Seriously why share this, yuck

It would be nicer if he made sure that having a peaceful bath was not such a rare and unusual treat for you that he would shit in the garden rather than disturb it.

I agree with other posters.... the bar is very, very low

I’m the one with IBS in our house, and we have a special knock if urgent loo access is needed. Fortunately I am also the long bath taker, but DP can go in with his phone and sit on the toilet for so long that I have contemplated (but never used) that cat’s litter tray.

Seriously, why on earth would you post this thread Op?
You surely must have known that you were going to get a shitty reaction

@Lindtballsrock

It would be nicer if he made sure that having a peaceful bath was not such a rare and unusual treat for you that he would shit in the garden rather than disturb it.

Amen.

I have contemplated (but never used) that cat’s litter tray.

🤣 Do you have a cat OP?

@KorkMum

That's absolutely disgusting. I'd dump mine if he shit in my bloody garden. Nastiest post ever. Rank. Feral.

Agreed. I'm horrified at the number of people who think it's thoughtful. And the one who'd mention it in their wedding speech.

No - he should have done it like this...

I laughed. I laugh at farts too though.

I do hope none of you delicate flowers ever find yourself in a situation where there isn't a working toilet available (eg a natural disaster) - you would never cope!

Ah OP, you’re a gem! I love that you love this and I think you and your partner must have a truly lovely relationship.

My husband’s rugby friends have done so much worse...